Listed on BlogShares So...This Is My 30's?


 

My 20's have been left behind and my 30's has begun. This is my journey into the next phase of adulthood.

So, should I be feeling any different?

Our House?
September 29, 2006

It hasn't been an eventful week, or at least one worth discussing in an open forum. Just not that interesting. Besides still trying to feel my way through work, I've officially been placed on the bench for our inter-office softball game in two weeks. I fielded much better last night at "practice," but the aluminum bat wasn't quite making an impression on my co-workers. Ah well. What can you expect from a guy who hasn't played softball since high school, and played little baseball prior to that? Anyhow, tonight I want to talk about thoughts I've been wrestling with in the last week, and it was brought on by a fellow-blogger's post today.

I'm not sure if a majority of you are familiar with the blog, I Am, Therefore I Date. I've been a long time reader, and it is in fact one of the blogs that inspired me to start my own way back in January 2005. I've followed the adventure of "Roxy" as she's gone through two relationships since I start reading. For most of the last year she's been involved in what looks like a very good relationship, one that began as a long distance romance that eventually evolved into a real relationship. It's been so great that it convinced her to move out of the Big Apple to not only be closer to her man, but actually live WITH him. Today's post was about how the two of them are now considering the option of buying a home. Needless to say, with only a couple of months gone since her move, I couldn't help but be taken aback. This post did, however, compell me to write tonight.

Since the start of this past summer, Batgirl had seriously begun to think about buying her own home. I was extremely in favor of her doing so. Afterall, she's been living in a rent-free apartment above her grandparents in their house for the last couple of years as she saved up. I admit it makes things a bit awkward if I sleep over, and now that they are back from their beach house for the winter, Batgirl has started to think we may need to respect them more than we did prior to the summer. Now, her grandparents love me, but the fact I'm upstairs doing God knows what with their granddaughter still could be a little unsettling. In any event, Batgirl's parents were surprisingly opposed to her getting a house on her own. Among those reasons was me. They believed that by Batgirl buying a house, it may make her come off as too independent, and scare me away. While I like her parents a great deal, I was a bit pissed that they made an assumption about how I'd react, when the reality was I had an opposite reaction.

After weeks of debate, Batgirl changed her mind. She actually got upset because her parents were so unsupportive of her. On the flipside, you had my parents who were happy for her to make such a move. They've actually asked about where she is at in terms of buying a house as recently as this past Sunday. Last night, Batgirl voiced her frustration with the fact she never got support from her dad on the house-buying decision, and it become more and more obvious that she wants to get out of the apartment. So why hasn't she just gone for it? Why not just get a one year lease for an apartment somewhere? My theory: she's holding out hope I approach the topic of marriage, or on a lesser level, moving in together.

In the time I've been a blogger, I've read many sites where the bloggers have met significant others, and in what seems like a blink of an eye, moved in with someone. There Dan over at Life on Plant Dan-E. There's Dating Dummy, who welcomed the woman he met through blogging, Modigli, into his place in San Diego, and now they've got a new apartment to call their own. There is my favorite crtic, Jo, from Letters to Vicki, who moved in with her love interest. There's also Neenee from Faith, Love and a Starfish, who had her man follow her back home to New York from Arizona. Finally, Roxy. These are the handful that come to mind. I'm not criticizing them for moving too fast at all, but as Batgirl and I pass 8 months together, I'm admitting the thoughts of the future with her are flowing fast and furious. I see the time span these people waited before that big step. I look at my own good friend Master K and his girl Shep, and how they moved in together after about 8 months of dating when they both met in Chicago. It kind of makes you think.

I look at how Bat Girl has questioned my decision to do some renovations on the house I currently own and live in with my brother. I haven't ignored some comments about marriage situations she's said, even if it was in jest, as recently as Tuesday night. I feel her increasing impatience with the living situation she has, and sense the discomfort of me sharing a house with other people (at one time we had a friend living in our third bedroom). I recognize the fact her brother got married in July, her married sister is having a daughter next month, and friends of mine are taking the plunge, too. Finally, I'm aware of her age: 33, and desire to have kids. Not to mention, the questions about marriage plans by my own parents.

I know you must be thinking, what has That 30's Guy been thinking? Well, I've been flip-flopping on this topic for a couple of weeks. I love waking up to her all weekend, and going to bed with her at night. On weeknights when we are together, and it's getting late, I could easily fall asleep next to her. I like to cook for her. I like eating our Saturday and Sunday breakfast, just the two of us, reading the newspaper. Of course, the practical side of me recognizes this is just small samples of life together. This isn't the real deal where you have her stuff mixed in with your stuff, shit I want to decorate with don't make the grade in her eyes, and both of you need to work together to pay bills. What about when each of us want private time? Would we take it as being given a cold shoulder, especially if the desire to be alone comes after a few months under the same roof?

No--I am not seriously considering marriage at the present time. I do see this woman as someone who can be a great mother, be welcomed into my family and circle of friends with open arms, and who will be a good partner. Thing is, I still feel too young to make such a decision, and unsure it it's the right one. I like where things are at right now, and I've enjoyed the continuous growth of our relationship as time has passed on. The love I feel for her is great, and is evolving with each experience we share.

To close, let's go back to the post from I Am, Therefore I Date, the one that got me to thinking out loud. Like the readers who commented on her post, I agree Roxy is moving way too fast. Her romance with "Redbeard" has mostly been spent miles apart. Now with the distance decreased significantly, it's almost like the relationship is in the second honeymoon phase. For her sake, I hope she hits the brakes, continues adjusting to her new life, and especially allows the new chapter in her relationship to take its natural course. Buying a house is a major step to take, and is one that involves legal ramifications. If she were to ever break up with her guy, it would make for an extremely messy situation. To anyone thinking of purchasing property with a significant other you're not married to, I say think twice.

posted by That 30's Guy @ 12:07 AM, |


Testosterone Tuesday
September 26, 2006

Judging by my stat counter, last Tuesday's first ever installment of "Testosterone Tuesday" was a big success. It was by best readership day of the week. Like a greedy Hollywood producer, I'm going to milk a concept until it's no longer of interest. Think James Bonds movies.


posted by That 30's Guy @ 6:46 AM, |


Weddings, Friends, and Hot Chicks
September 25, 2006

Gian's wedding was worth the long drive. After what was a comedy of errors to get to the ceremony, Batgirl and I made it just as the bridal procession was starting. In an event that was done very unconventionally, the ceremony was held outside in the garden of a country club with the couple exchanging vows in a gazebo. The weather at the Jersey shore cleared up just in time for the start of things, and the sun shined brightly during the short ceremony. I could see the nerves my friend was feeling the whole time he stood at the front, awaiting his bride. It was strange not to see anyone I knew, except for his father--the best man--standing at his side.

In less than a half-an-hour, Gian and his fiance became husband and wife, and the guests moved on to the back patio of the country club to begin the cocktail hour and start the celebration of their new union. That, ladies and gentleman, is what a wedding day should be about: celebrating the two people and the promise they've made to each other.

I've thought about this in the last few years after seeing so many Catholic weddings. As a Catholic myself, I think the wedding day should be more about the people involved, and not so much about Jesus, his disciples, and religion. Sure, marriage is a sacrament and an institution set forth by the church, but in the 21st century, I'm not so sure making it a long, drawn-out mass where you read from the gospel and take communion is really necessary.

Yesterday's ceremony was exactly the way I think it should be: a few short prayers, one reading, a a slightly shorter homily, and exchanging of vows and the rings, and Amen. I liked how it was not held in a church, so the pressure to have to do things "by the book" was not present. There were just enough religious undertones to preserve the traditional Catholic mass for the conservatives, but right to the point of why we are all gathering there. We are there to celebrate two people whom we care for and their promise to live as one, and not attend a weekly mass.

Beyond the beauty of the ceremony, the reception was a blast. I was extremely happy with the way Batgirl conducted herself. Right before my very eyes I'm seeing someone who thought she didn't fit in finally getting comfortable and being herself. I'll bet my friends' girlfriends got jealous of us with all the dancing we did while my buddies were off to the side with drinks in their hands for what seemed like all night. Batgirl pretty much pulled me out on the dance floor shortly after dinner ended (all the food was excellent), and had me sweating like Patrick Ewing three songs later. She even willingly went down to the hotel bar after the reception to hang out, with not a hint of hesitation. To my surprise, she's actually looking forward to seeing the group again next weekend for Tall Paul's surprise 30th bash.

On a more serious note, it was nice to see Gian's mom and dad. His dad has been battling cancer and diabetes these last few years, a main reason why he and his now-wife moved back to Jersey. What flattered me was how happy they were to see me. They knew so much about what was going on in my life, and it's a testament to how big their hearts are. They genuinely are curious about how Gian's friends are, and when they see you, they make you feel like you're part of the family. I guess it's also a revealing look at how much our friendships mean to Gian, even though he's soft-spoken on certain subjects, especially on the topic of his feelings for us.

My last thought comes from the "men are pigs" part of my psyche. There were two girls at this reception that I absolutely had to sneak peaks at over the course of the night. The first was the 5'11"+ , gorgeous maid of honor, who really looked like a model, and had what seemed like a real down-to-earth attitude. I sensed jealousy from my friends' women, even though most of them are married to my buddies (Batgirl never said anything). The other was this blond with a great rack who I actually caught checking me out from across the room during the cocktail hour. My pal Vegas came stag because his girlfriend is Jewish and was observing Roshashanah, and ended up seated at her table. When we had a chance to talk man-on-man, we looked over at the table to see her leaning over and leaving little to the imagination. Man, I gotta tell ya--it ain't easy to ignore, but if you love the one you came with, it's very possible for you to just put it out of your mind.

posted by That 30's Guy @ 6:09 AM, |


The Start of Four Loooong Weeks (But For A Good Cause)
September 21, 2006

I guess I was due to get busy again. After about a month-long breather, this weekend begins a four-week spand where Batgirl and I spend each weekend going on the road. Unfortunately, we're not talking an hour or less of driving.

This weekend, we are heading to Jersey for my pal Gian's wedding. More on that later.

Next weekend, we go north of Jersey into Upstate NY for my friend Tall Paul's suprise 30th.

The weekend after we go further north into Northern New England for Master K's 30th!

Finally, the long-awaited football trip to Hot-lanta to see Big Blue bring the Falcons back down to Earth.

For as much fun as I expect us to have, I'm actually dreading the wear and tear this will have on us. Three consecutive weekends of driving, followed by two flights is not my idea of time well spent. However, the friends we are celebrating are all important to me, and would be there for me if I needed them.

Gian: After a bout a 5 year courtship, he ties the knot with his girlfriend. I remember the night I met the guy like it was yesterday. He lived on my floor in the dorm freshman year, and he hopped on the same taxi bus as my friend Van and I. We talked a while during the wait, and on the ride over to the bar. We didn't see him again the rest of the night, and found him a mess outside the bar. Being good guys and knowing he lived on our floor, we got him in the taxi, dragged him across campus, and threw him in the arms of his roommate (and another eventual good college buddy) Big O and said,"He's all yours now!"

Ah yes. A friendship was born. Well, two actually. After that night, I became good friends with both guys, and shared houses with them the next two years. In the years as friends, we've been a support to each other as we struggled through rough times financially, miserable jobs, and breakups. He's found a good woman with a great heart. Another wedding day for a good friend has come.

Tall Paul: I also met TP freshman year of college. Even though he was from NY, I used to jokingly insist he was lying and was really from CT "because he was a tool." That joke began one night when I was drunk, and has lived on. We shared a house freshman year. He always lended me a sympathetic ear. His dad helped me do my taxes when I worked in NY. He and his dad took me to my first ever Giants game (even though it was the annual Jets-Giants pre-season game, and they are Jets fans). I was one of the first of the college crew to meet his eventual wife. More recently, he made the trip out for my 30th, even though his wife has a death in her family. He drove out, stayed as long as he could, and went back that night. He didn't have to come considering the circumstances, but he came because he wanted to.

Master K: What can I say about one of my oldest friends. There just isn't enough time and space. He's been like a brother. He's always believed in me, supported me, and we always find ways to crack each other up. One thing I always remember is last November when my long-distance girlfriend broke up with me, he called me twice that day to make sure I was doing all right, and encourage me to move on and pick up some young college chicks.

He broke the news to me last Friday that he has put the down payment on a ring for his girlfriend of two years, who moved to New England with him from Chicago. The two were going back to the Windy City for the weekend, and it was there he'd ask her dad for her hand in marriage (I know some you girls already voice your opinions on that). He must have called me three times while he was out there. Nerves, I'd assume. He is by far one of my most successful friends professionally, and I'm proud of him. Most of all, I'm proud to call him a friend.

Where Are They Now?

Before I go though, I was surprised when I tripped upon this update on where someone has ended up. In a "Where Are They Now?"-type feature I may do from time to time, I want to reveal to all my sports enthusiast readers that Melissa Stark, the HOT former Monday Night Football sideline reporter who made guys go Ga-Ga, is now anchoring on MSNBC. May I add, she's looking better than ever! If you're like me, your TV is usually tuned to ESPN a lot more than MSNBC, so to me--this was news.

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

posted by That 30's Guy @ 8:03 PM, |


Reality Hits: Not In The Shape I Was At 25
September 20, 2006

This week has been a real eye opener for That 30's Guy and my physical condition.

To begin, Monday night I had this feeling that my favorite suite, the one I bought for a wedding on New Year's Eve 2004/2005, might be a bit tight in the waist. So, with only just a few days before my pal Gian's wedding, I slipped on the pants. Legs felt good, but when I buttoned them up...Ooph! I'd be lucky if I could exhale on Saturday wearing those things.

The same could be said for my other two good suits, which are more than 5 years old. Since I don't have any liposuction appointments scheduled this week, the logical move was to go buy a new suit. I think I may be too far gone to salvage one of the suits since it's about 6 years old, and at the time I was about a 31, 32 waist.

Yesterday I went to the local Men's Wearhouse and found myself a nice pin-striped suit (don't think for a minute I'm turning to the Dark Side), except I got surprise #1: a 34-waist was tight on me. The sales associate recommended they expand the waste on the pants to a 35! My reaction was Jesus Chris! What the hell happened? The exclamation ellicited a chuckle from the sales guy.

Suprise #2 was at the register: $410.00 Man! How the hell did I go from about $300.00 to another hundred? Easy: alterations, and the no-wrinkle shirt and silk tie and paired up with it. After getting home and thinking it over, I saw the shirt and tie contributed over $70 to the price. Being that it's a white shirt and I own one, and the fact I have a few ties that will go with the everything, I think I'm returing the two overpriced items on Friday when I pick up my new suit. Hey--I gotta pay for a hotel room and wedding gift too! If only I went on that diet I said I would in August.

Today, the company softball team got together for a practice. I discovered very quickly that I'm one out-of-shape mother fucker. I was desperately trying to catch my breath after all the line drives I had to chase in the outfield. Then, when it was my turn to bat, my arms wore down quickly from the weight of the bat (it was a bit too heavy for me), and I really was panting like a dog in heat. Right now, my back and legs are sore, and I can't wait to go to bed. When you consider the only physical activity I've consistently done over the last year is sex, and everything but the one muscle that matters seems to tire after a while of doing it, I can't be surprised. The disaster that was my softball play tonight taught me that it's time to start thinking like a 30-year-old and get my ass into some sort of shape!

Jog. Lift weights. Walk. Calasthetics. Anything! I don't think it's so much diet, and more the lack of activity.I gotta get myself down one waste size before I go out and blow all my dough on an entire winter wardrobe.

Getting older does suck.

posted by That 30's Guy @ 9:01 PM, |


Testosterone Tuesday
September 18, 2006

In my 18-plus months experience of surfing blogs, I've learned one thing that brings back readers is weekly features. For example, Half-Nekkid Thursdays (or HNT--my personal favorite), Cock-Blogging Wednesday (you won't see something like that here!), and a lesser-known features like on my friend Jess' blog, "Bad Poetry I Wrote As A Teenager," and Mr. Pinkerton's "Weekend By The Numbers".

Since I don't have much that is new and deeply engaging at the moment, I thought I'd go shallow for the guys and start "Testosterone Tuesday". If there's one thing about me that hasn't changed through my teens, 20's and now 30's, it's my love for sports and sexy celebs. Maybe this will be weekly, maybe not. I don't have an editor to bust my balls so we'll see.

posted by That 30's Guy @ 10:36 PM, |


Giant Heart


I know you Eagles fans out there arewaking up in a cold sweat, seeing the above image of Plaxico Burress burning Sheldon Brown in OT to lead the Giants to a 30-24 win.

I admit, I was tossing the towel in on Big Blue after the first half. What I saw was a bunch of big pussies being pushed around like the Little Giants. They couldn't block, cover receivers, rush a passer, and basically just do nothing right. Then a light went on in the lGaints ocker room (most likely the fire spewing from the mouth of a raving mad man named Tom Coughlin) at halftime, and Andy Reid's light went off in the Eagles' locker room. The G-men showed true heart, and Eli Manning did once again what I've never seen his brother do: throw a winning TD pass in a big spot.

It's onto Seattle next week to avenge that awful OT loss to the Seahawks last November.

Tuesday: the debut of "Testosterone Tuesday," my quick hits on what's up in sports, and everything male. There's just been way too much sensitive shit going on in this blog lately!

posted by That 30's Guy @ 9:41 PM, |


Feeling Like Part Of The Family
September 17, 2006

I had an interesting Saturday afternoon. I spent the day and evening playing golf and just hanging out with Batgirl's dad and brother. The idea cam about months ago when Mr. Batgirl learned I was a golfing-enthusiast like him. For months we talked about getting together for a round, and finally, last weekend when Batgirl and I took her parents out for his birthday, we set the date.

I played like shit, but I felt great about the experience. He watched some of the things I did wrong and gave suggestions, even at one point giving me permission to tell him to be quiet and let me play. I appreciated his instruction and encouraged him to keep up the coaching. I even had a few pats on the back when we reminisced about how I lost three balls on hole shortly after he observed we hadn't lost the balls we started with. Between the three of us, we had quite a few laughs out on the course.

We concluded the night going to a popular bar close to where I work, and we shared plates of wings, quesedillas, and a few pints of beer. I really felt like I was part of the family. I never felt uncomfortable, even though this was the first time I spent any amount of time with members of Batgirl's family without her within earshot. I guess after nearly 8 months in a relationship, you eventually begin creeping into other areas of your girlfriend's life.

Speaking of that, Batgirl has seemed to start coming around on her feelings about being involved in so many group functions with my friends. Starting next weekend, we'll have three consecutive weekends that involved us travelling to other states for a wedding (next week), a surprise birthday party (in two weeks), and the biggest test--my pal Master K's 30th birthday party. I'm most concerned about that evening because of her negative feelings for his girlfriend, Shep. In fact, after this weekend, K will be two steps closer to proposing to her.

Friday, my longtime friend called to let me know that he had wired money to a friend in our home state to put the design of the ring in motion. Today, during a round of golf with her dad, he will ask for his blessing. As far as when he'll do it, I'm thinking it will be some time around Christmas. He is toying with the idea of booking a trip to some tropical destination and doing it there. While I have my own reservatin about this woman and her intentions, I do know that for the last 2 years he has felt this way about her. He was talking about marriage several months after they met and had moved in together. At the time, she was not ready, being only 23 years old. Even as recent as this past Spring, before she got a new job and they bought their condo, she was homesick from Chicago and wanted them to move back. He told me her attitude about staying in New Egnland has improved, and he is now satisfied with where her mind is and where their lives are. It is time.

This lead me to start thinking about my own relationship. Twice in the last two weeks, both of my parents have asked me if there are any wedding bells in our future. It surprised me to hear that from my father, especially, so it made me wonder if there's something they see in us. Also, Batgirl has made some comments that make me think she is getting closer to the bigger question of, where do you see us headed? She is 33, and wants to have a family. I know this based on conversations we've had. I'm 30, and I too know I want to have kids. She's made me very happy, minus the bumps in the road we've had in regards to adjusting to the other's lifestyle (more so her adjusting to mine, as you know). I love waking up to her, and I still get excited about seeing her after rough days at work.

Still, I look at the big picture and that is we are not even 8 months into this relationship. Choosing to marry someone is a HUGE, life-altering decision that I think some people seem to rush into. I look at Nern, and I know he's made the right decision to marry Angel (it took them several years to do it). I look at my other friend Ren, and I see that after 10 years together (5 married), he's met his One. Then I have my pal Frank, who married about 3 years ago, and while he doesn't admit it, seems miserable. Then again, we knew this was a mistake for him as a result of shit his wife was pulling in the weeks leading up to their wedding. When I look at Batgirl and me, I'm not 100% sure she is The One because there are the lingering issues of her insecurities, and my questions about her ability to open her arms to most of the important people in my life. As for me, I like time for myself. I love watching football all day on Sunday, taking an hour of my night to play a video game, typing a blog, and going away to see my friends who lives many miles away. I'm not sure my priorities are to have a family yet.

There is hope that's lead me to believe we have a long future together ahead of us. In the last two weeks, Nern and Angel have invited us to do quite a few things, a sure sign that they genuinely like Batgirl. We had a fun evening together at their place for dinner on Labor Day, and I think Batgirl sees the point I've been trying to make about my friends' desire to get to know her. She has poo-poo'd any opportunity to sit out the events over the next three weekends, even though I told her I was cool with her staying back here. He response has been, with a smile, "What? You don't want me to come?" In fact, when I informed her that we'd been invited up to Master K's 30th birthday party, she didn't make a face and say, I can't be there.

I really believe her postitive change in attitude correlates with her return to work. Things seems to be like there were before last June. She now has less down-time than was the case this past summer. For example, this morning she volunteered to work at a festival at a local church. I am happy to see her go back to doing something she did before we met. I've had a few Saturdays in the last month were she's been cool with me playing golf with some of my boys because she's got her own thing to do. Then, this afternoon we will be driving out to Nern's beach house to spend the rest of our day (yes--I'm allow myself to leave the couch despite there being some great football on TV). Things feel great again.

Yup. Hitting 30 may not have changed me physically, but like a light switch, the thought-process suddenly is changing. While the considerations aren't serious, they have come to the move to the surface.

posted by That 30's Guy @ 11:29 AM, |


My Poor Baby--I Thought I'd Lost You!
September 14, 2006

A HUGE sigh of relief. Somehow, someway, my blog was retrieved. I put up a serious post on 9/11, and hours later it was gone. I have no clue how this blog went into cognito, but it is back! I don't know about you, but Blogger is really dropping the ball of late in terms of functionality. I can't even post fucking photos without using some type of programming...and who the hell wants to do that?!

I didn't have a whole lot of important shit to say these last two days, but I was going to have some fun talking sports and other superficial nonsense. Ah well, a week lost, but a blog regained. For most of you, my 9/11 post is brand new, so you can read that for the time being. I'm pretty proud of myself when I put up meaningful thoughts, so take a look and feel free to comment. Catch you later.

posted by That 30's Guy @ 7:04 PM, |


9/11: I Will Never Forget
September 11, 2006

I know that I'm going to be one of millions who will post his own thoughts on the five-year anniversary of 9/11. Still, I feel compelled because my life was nearly impacted in a major way on this date 5 years ago.

A year ago on my old blog I told the story of how my cousin, whom I am close to, escaped the World Trade Center because she never forgot a promise she made to my uncle. When she moved down to NYC to be with her now ex-boyfriend from college, she got a job in the Twin Towers, way up on the 93rd floor of the south tower. My uncle was nervous about her being in their due to the attempted bombing of the WTC back in 1993. He made her promise that if she ever sensed danger, she'd get the hell out of there and never look back. Well, on September 11, 2001, she kept that promise.

I will condense this down as much as I can since I've told it many times, and I'd like to get to my frame of mind on this day. After the first plane hit the north tower, she knew something couldn't be right. She was in her office when the impact happened, having just sent an email to the youngest daughter of my uncle's then-girlfriend. Even though voices over an intercom told people to remain calm and in their offices, she picked up her things and rushed to the stairwell to get out of the building and away from the Twin Towers--just like she promised my uncle years earlier.

We never knew she made it out that day until about 1pm that afternoon. Had she hesitated for another 10 minutes, she probably would have been mid-descent when the second plane sliced the upper half of the south tower, right at the impact point. Her building later became the first building to collapse. To give you an idea of just how large these buildings were , she recalled there only being a rumble and soft explosion, but not one that would lead you to believe a huge plane had just slammed into your building at full-speed. In fact, it wasn't until she was clear of the buildings that she knew what had happened during her escape.

About four days later, I drove down with my uncle, his girlfriend and her daughter to pick my cousin up out at the home of her then-boyfriend on Long Island. I remember seeing the billow of smoke rising from lower Manhattan as we crossed the Throgs Neck Bridge. As someone who worked in NYC for three years and spent as much time as he could taking in the excitement and adventure this city brings, I felt deeply saddened more than most "outsiders" would. It was one thing to see the scenic shots on TV, but seeing it in person was a whole other feeling.

I remember how strong my cousin was. With the exception of the embrace she shared with my uncle when she cried, she never broke down upon our return to our home state. I marveled at how calmly she'd tell the story of a few days earlier, how she isn't nearly as shaken up as you'd think since she never really looked back. Sure, the anthrax scares that followed later that year unsettled her, but for years she never showed any emotional scars of 9/11.

That was then, this is now.

In the last couple of years, the emotions she harbored and hid from the world finally took their toll. Not long ago, she had an anxiety attack she attributes to not properly dealing with the terrorist attacks. Luckily for her, she has been able to move on. She met a new man from Upstate NY, moved back home shortly after, he followed her and the two got engaged in June. I don't doubt that she is going through a ton of emotions today (she did lose co-workers that day), especially since the media coverage is so widespread. I hate to imagine what people who lost loved ones are going through also. I was close to being one of those people, but my family was among the lucky ones. It's too bad there can't be more families like ours who didn't get the happy news in the hours that followed.

As for me, today started as just any other. Then, as I listened to Howard Stern announced that due to fan-demand, he would rebroadcast in real-time the broadcast of 9/11/01, starting somewhere around the time the first reports came in about the first plane crash. My office hours begin at 8am, but at lunch I managed to hear the West Coast feed of his show and got to hear the show portion when the first tower crumbled. I was transported back to that day, and it felt so real again. A small bit of those emotions came racing back.

This was exactly what I was listening to as I rushed home from my job to be with my family as we awaited any news on my cousin. For as much criticism as Stern gets, this broadcast was one of the most amazing bits of radio I'd ever heard. He gave people a platform to get out what they were thinking at that very moment, and for people who couldn't get to a TV, the show served a purpose as a news outlet. In fact, I had long forgotten I had an mp3 of that broadcast until he announced his plans to re-air the 9/11 broadcast a few days ago. It really serves as a harsh reminder of what this country went through today 5 years ago.

When I left NY, a city I fell in love with almost immediately when I was a kid who visited for the first time with my grandmother, I was deeply disappointed I didn't "make it" down there. I made a bad career move, didn't make enough money to live the way I wanted to, and ended up packing my bags and coming home. I felt like a piece of me was left behind because I've never felt the same since I moved away in August'01. About 3 weeks later, 9/11 happened. I often wonder how my life would have been if I was right down there, still working in my building a few blocks away from the UN. Would I have rushed downtown to look for my cousin? Probably. I really believe my life would be dramatically different had a remained in my shitty office job for just another month or so. Just how different, I'll never know. It's almost as if God had some plan for me. I came back here, picked up my financial pieces, and two years later I bought a home with my brother. 5 years later, I'm financially stable, have a loving girlfriend who I sometimes wonder is going to be my wife, and working for a good company.

I returned to lower Manhattan in December 2001. It was my first time back there since I had moved the weeks before the attacks. I'll never forget that smell of electrical fires and dust. I remember seeing that famous structure that stood upright--all that was left of a once mighty tower. I can't ever forget that numbers of photos of the missing that was posted along a fence outside one of the churches rescue volunteers rested in. I remember sign after sign on medians in the West Side Highway, thanking all the people who were working tirelessly to recover what was left of human bodies, and cleaning up rubble. I was so sad, so much in disbelief. This was real. This was done to one my loves, New York City. I felt like, on that cold day, I bid a farewell to the missing piece of me.

No, I'll never forget 9/11. When I'm being held up at an airport before boarding a plane to Atlanta next month, I'll remember why. When I get frustrated one of my best friends is in Iraq (that's a whole debate for another day), I'll remember why he's fighting for our country. Today, I ask you remember those who lost their lives doing what we still do to this day and sometimes take for granted: just living their lives as an American.

posted by That 30's Guy @ 6:57 PM, |


That 30's Guy's Picks-NOT-To-Click: The NFC
September 09, 2006

I know you've all been waiting with "bated breath" (which is also the name of a blog I highly recommend visiting if you dig the HNT phenomenon) for my NFC picks as we are down to about 24 hours to the real official kickoff of the 2006 NFL season. Since it's a beautiful day outside, and I feel like shit frankly, let's cut to the chase:

NFC EAST
  1. NY Giants
  2. Dallas Cowboys
  3. Philadelphia Eagles
  4. Washington Redskins

I know a lot of you had a pretty good sense that I'd go with Big Blue to take the division. Let me just say that I'm not one of those yahoo's who just blindly pick their favorite team to win. I honestly do think this team is going to take the division, and make a run deep into the playoffs. Sure, a lot people are rolling with the Dallas Cowboys, but the reality is, they have Drew Bledsoe at QB, a ticking time-bomb at receiver who is capable of killing a locker room, and less than spectacular running backs. I respect the defense, but if your offense puts the D in predicaments enough, eventually that will weaken the team's strength on D. Rounding out the division, I know a lot of "experts" are singing the praises of the Redskins, but I really don't see it. They have a QB in his twilight, and I think that will ultimately be the difference between them contending for a wildcard and finish in fourth. I hate the Eagles, but I think last season was killed by injuries and the T.O. fiasco. 2006 is a new year.

NFC NORTH

  1. Chicago Bears
  2. Minnesota Vikings
  3. Detroit Lions
  4. Green Bay Packers

The Bears are a QB away from being an elite team. We saw in the playoffs last season and this season's preseason games that Rex Grossman has a ways to go. I think there will be a Brian Griese sighting about 6 games into the season. Da Bearz won't be as good as they were a year ago, but with the remaining teams in their division, they can go 10-6 and take the top spot. The Vikes will be competitive, but there's really nothing about this team that excites me. The whole Koren Robinson saga from a couple of weeks ago cost them of their playmaker on offense, and I'm not so sure Chester Taylor is a feature back. Detroit is still in rebuilding mode, with a new head coach and staff. However when you have an assistant coach who's been arrested TWICE in one week's time (first time for driving nude, the second for DWI), and is not fired, you get the sense things won't change in the immediate future. Green Bay is horrible. Period.

NFC SOUTH

  1. Carolina Panthers
  2. Tampa Bay Bucs
  3. Atlanta Falcons
  4. New Orleans Saints

I love what John Fox has done with the Carolina Panthers since he arrived in 2002. While I wish he could have remained with the NY Giants as an assistant until Jim Fassel was fired a couple of years ago, the man was due to be a head coach. A lot of people are picking the Panthers to go to the big dance, but let's look deeper: they have a QB who has propensity for throwing picks, durability questions about their running backs, TWO hammy injuries nagging their top receiver Steve Smith, and a secondary that absolutely needs the front seven to pressure the QB in order to succeed. They're still go enough to among the NFC elite, but they're not the clear cut choice experts are making them out to be. The Bucs are not a team that made great moves in the offseason. They're more like the same team they were a year ago. That equals another 2nd place finish. In Atlanta, as long as Michael Vick plays in a system that doesn't fit him, this team won't emerge back into the NFC elite. New Orleans is in a rebuilding phase, though it will be interesting to see how Reggie Bush adjusts in his first NFL season, and how new QB Drew Brees has recovered from his shoulder injury suffered last December when he was a Charger.

NFC WEST

  1. Seattle Seahawks
  2. Arizona Cardinals
  3. St. Louis Rams
  4. San Francisco 49ers

Seattle still has the pieces in place that made them the NFC Champs last season. I'm not huge on their receivers, even if they do manage to snag Deion Branch from the Patriots, as has been rumored. They lost a Pro-Bowl guard in the offseason, but that's not enough to upend a team. Besides that, just like the Bears, they're in a division that just doesn't play on any level close to them. A lot of people are probably pushing the Cardinals, and while I love their offense, I have to ask where the defense is? Signing Edgerrin James from the Colts certainly helps the Red Birds eat the clock and keep that D off the field, but eventually you have to stop someone. The Rams are about to enter a rebuilding phase, while the 49ers are in the middle of one. Both teams will give the Cards a tough time, and maybe scare Seattle once, but neither team gets my attention. It wouldn't shock me if the Niners step it up this season and take 3rd place, but that's the best I can see. for them. It all depends on if Alex Smith improves his QB play in his 2nd NFL season.

NFC Champions: The New York Giants

posted by That 30's Guy @ 11:52 AM, |


That 30's Guy's Picks-NOT-To-Click
September 06, 2006

In continuing with the football theme started last night, I thought I'd give my brief analysis of the upcoming NFL season. As I said last night, I have reason to be excited as a New York Giants fan. We have a good, young and (hopefully) improving QB in Eli Manning, an array of receivers that will make many QB's around the league jealous, a do-it-all running back in Tiki Barber, a quick and aggressive defense with two stud pass-rushing DE's, and an improved (on paper) linebacking corps and secondary. Not to mention, a little point to prove after having their asses handed to them in the playoffs last season by the Carolina Panthers.

Of course, on the way to the playoffs, the G-men have a brutal schedule to start 2006. As early as week one, in prime time on NBC, Big Blue get to host a team most of the country is picking to win the Super Bowl. That's right; the Indiananpolis Colts take their high-power offensive act to the Meadowlands in this battle of Brother vs. Brother (Eli's older bro Peyton QB's for the Colts). I am excited about the game, but not overly optimistic about the prospects of a win. You know what? That may be a good thing because at least the Giants will know right away that they have to earn their way back to the playoffs. I'm very confident the refurbished defense will eventually gel, Eli will emerge as a bona fide star QB, and Big Blue will erase the memory of an opening game loss should that happen.

Without further delay, here are That 30's Guys "Picks-NOT-To-Click." Hey; if you want to wager using my predications, then bet at your own risk.

AFC EAST
  1. New England Patriots
  2. Miami Dolphins
  3. Buffalo Bills
  4. NY Jets

I'm never impressed with the Patsies' receivers, and with the disgruntled Deion Branch holding out, I'm even less enamored. They also lost "Mr. Clutch" Adam Vinatieri, one of their defensive leaders in Willie McGinnest, and their stud running back Corey Dillon has shown signs of breaking down. Why do I pick them? Well, first because they always seem to prove me wrong when I go against them. Secondly, their division is a two-team race. Third, that second team (the Dolphins) has more questions about them, such as the knee of their new QB Daunte Culpepper, the effectiveness of a mediocre offensive line, a lack of real talent at receiver outside Chris Chambers, and an aging defense in the process of change. I have to stick with the Patsies.

AFC NORTH

  1. Cincinnati Bengals
  2. Pittsburgh Steelers
  3. Baltimore Ravens
  4. Cleveland Browns

This is history folks. For the first time ever, I am drinking the Bengals' Kool-Aid. Carson Palmer look awesome last Monday night in his first game back since having his knee busted by the Steel Curtain in the playoffs. They made attempts to improve the D, while the reigning World Champions didn't make much of an effort to keep up with changes around the league. That's never a good thing. Beyond that, their star QB-Big Ben Roethlisberger-is coming back from severe injuries suffered in a June motorcycle accident, and an emergency appendectomy a couple of days ago that will keep him out likely the first two weeks. I think the talent is there for them to go 1-1, but it just seems to me the Bengals are ready to take that next step.

AFC SOUTH

  1. Indianapolis Colts
  2. Jacksonville Jaguars
  3. Houston Texans
  4. Tennessee Titans

This may be one of the lousiest divisions in football. You have the Colts...and then everyone else. You can forget about Houston; they passed on Reggie Bush and now they have no running back that scares defenses. The Titans? The high school team from Remember The Titans would fare better. While I respect the Jaguars' toughness, this is a team that just can't score. When you're in a division with the Colts, you have to be able to score some points. Sure, they always play Peyton and Co. tough, but the Jags receivers and backs don't scare me, and the Colts' does. I also think the Indy D is going to continue its development since Tony Dungy arrival a few years ago. Even though I don't like the fact they lost Edgerrin James to free agency and now have two rather questionable backs to carry the load, it's hard for me to look around the AFC and see a team better than the Colts. Then again, I said that heading into the playoffs last season....

AFC WEST

  1. Denver Broncos
  2. Kansas City Chiefs
  3. San Diego Chargers
  4. Oakland Raiders

Like the Colts, the Broncos are just that much better than everyone else in the division. While I think Jake Plummer is never going to be a QB destined for a championship, he's at least giving Denver a chance at one. I like the defense, I like the acquisition of Javon Walker as a new target for Plummer, and I think the backs can get the job done. Had the Bolts not let Drew Brees walk in favor of the inexperienced Phillip Rivers, I'd say the Chargers have a great shot. Unfortunately, the front office needed to justify trading away Eli Manning for Rivers. The screwy thing is they didn't sign a veteran QB to back the kid up. Could be a big risk. The Chiefs will continue to regress even though they have a new coach in Herm Edwards. I like the guy's enthusiasm, but he didn't get the job done with the Jets and I don't see what he'll be able to pull off here in his first season. Larry Johnson is the fantasy football stud coming into 2006, but was that monstrous run over the last half of 2005 a mirage? The Raiders...I think they're one of the worst run franchises in sports. I don't like the QB, the O-line, the coaching staff, the defense. Nothing. I think they'll be among the bottom 5 teams in the NFL this season.

AFC Champs: Indianapolis Colts

Next: the NFC picks (hmmm, I wonder who will win the NFC East?)

posted by That 30's Guy @ 9:22 PM, |


Fantasy: Not Just a Kid's Game?
September 05, 2006

We are only 48 hours away from the start of another, hopefully exciting, NFL season. Of course, when your team is considered a Super Bowl contender like mine is, you will feel a little extra giddy. What about if you're a fan whose team is not expected to be much of a factor, like, oh, say, the Tennessee Titans? Here's a team that still isn't sure who their starting quarterback will be after a month of preseason games. Pretty frigging pitiful if you ask me. I'm disappointed in longtime coach Jeff Fisher, perennially one of the NFL's best, for his indecisiveness. So what do you do?

Enter fantasy football, the phenomenon that has really captured the imagination of the male-sports fan since the start of the new century.

As a man who has entered his 30's, I've started wondering just how much longer I can keep up this hobby. I've been running my own league since I was 17 and a senior in high school. My 12-owner league has been the model many who run in our social circles try to emulate, and often fail. I'm quite proud my league enters it's 14th season, especially since a lot fizzle out after a couple of years. For as much fun as us guys have on that summer day where we all convene in one location, drink beers, grill food, and spend 3 hours or so "drafting" our team, I've began to see real life creep into the scheduling these last two seasons.

This year, the big issue was Nern's wedding. We had the day-long bachelor party one weekend, the wedding another, and his honeymoon keeping him out of the a third. My other friend, Big O, has a wife, a young daughter, and another baby on the way, on top of a 4+ hour drive, so he may never make it out to "The Draft" either. We managed to squeeze a Saturday in, but Big O had to draft via phone from his house (also due to the fact he had to go to a wedding reception that evening). All the while, some of the guys' girlfriends tagged along because they wanted to be able to spend time with their men instead of losing them for a whole weekend day. It was quite exhausting putting this year's draft together, and I think this is just a precursor of what's to come.

So if you're a woman who didn't turn away from this post because I opened up with football talk (open up your horizons; it's for your own good), or if you're just a novice and an outsider to this past time, I'm going to try to fill you in on just what your husband or boyfriend is doing.

  1. Fantasy Football is not pornographic. I know a lot of people think "sex" when they hear the word "fantasy." That's not what this is. Although, the annual Lingerie Bowl can be considered fantasy football. Anyway, the fantasy end of it is due to the fact we are playing out the role of a football teams GM, drafting our own talent for the upcoming season. No, we're not really recruiting players to play for us each Sunday. We're just taking their names and putting them on a sheet of paper and calling it our "team". While some funny guys may try to use pornographic team names like "The Bald Beavers," this is not some pornographic activity.
  2. Know the initials LT, LJ, and the name Shaun Alexander. If your man (or buddy) is picking in the top 4 or 5 picks of his league's draft, you'll be hearing him go on and on about the decision of who he should take: LT, LJ or Shaun Alexander. LT is short for Ladainian Tomlinson of the San Diego Chargers; LJ is short for Larry Johnson of the Kansas City Chiefs, and Alexander is another stud player for the Seattle Seahawks. All three of these guys put up monster stats in 2005, and are the consensus most coveted players to have on your team. Their position is running back, and if any of them get hurt and your boy drafted the one who gets injured, don't be surprised if he goes into a season-long depression.

    I know, because my season's hopes ride on Shaun Alexander's AND Larry Johnson's legs in two leagues.
  3. The draft is a great excuse to get together with the guys. I know there are guys out there who can't go into the shitter without the question from his woman of where are you going? For some guys, there just aren't many opportunities to cut the apron strings and get that testosterone level up. Draft Day is one of them. Where else can 10-12 guys sit around, razz each other's lack of football knowledge, forget their troubles, and be MEN? If your league is smart, you'll set the date a least a couple of months in advance, and those owners who have a dominatrix for a companion can use this excuse a lot of my friends do:"It's a tradition!" No one likes to fuck with traditions.
  4. Stats = points. That's how the game is played. Each league has a scoring system. I won't get into it because every league's scoring system is different, but let me put it to you this way: you have to be fucking Steve Hawking to figure out how many points one player got you. Trust me on this. Do yourself a favor and don't ask how a fantasy football owner knows how his players did. You'll only hurt your brain and get dizzy. Simply put, it's based on the stats of the players you drafted and put in your active lineup each week, & you get credit for points based on deviations. The total points of our players are totaled and we compare them against the owner we're matched up against that week. To put it like John Madden, the team who scores the most points will win the game.
  5. No more than 1/2 hour to an hour a day should be spent on fantasy football. I hear all these horror stories how people spend hours a day on their computers, cutting into productive time at the office, scouring the internet for tips on improving their fantasy football team. If someone close to you is in that group, get them some help. Seriously. I read news blurbs about the NFL in general during my lunch hour, paying special attention to anything involving "my" players, then maybe I'll read a little more at night. That's it. I'd prefer spending my time doing other things like looking at pictures of Lindsay Lohan's cans, drinking out of beer cans, or fondling Batgirl's cans while drinking from a beer can.

5 quick and easy points. I've done two drafts this season, I'm quite happy with one team (the one I drafted tonight in my work league), and very nervous about the one I drafted in early August for my 14-year one I've been doing with my friends. I'm probably too late to analyze fantasy football as most drafts are over, but maybe as we head into the Sunday games, I'll give you the rundown of my teams.

Yeah, to the outsider this all seems childish, and as 30-year old man I can see that. Still, it's sometime about the kid in all of us. The trick is to not let that kid take your life over full-time.

posted by That 30's Guy @ 11:17 PM, |


Pardon the Absence, But...
September 04, 2006

Seems like I can't get myself motivated to sit down at a computer after being at one all day, and type up some posts. I thought I'd get back in the groove last week but it just didn't happen. I've been quit busy at the "new" job in recent weeks, which is good considering how little I did the first two weeks there. As Labor Day weekend winds down (I'm a little buzzed after dinner with Nern, his wife, and Batgirl), I'm hopeful this 30's Guy will be able to get back at it again this week. Something tells me with a second fantasy football draft tomorrow, the NFL season kicking off Thursday, and who knows what in the days ahead, I'll have a few musings to give you all.

A quick note is I am going to go back to my original edict of limiting details of my personal life. I've found that my approach in my relationship has been influenced considerably by the opinions of commenters to my posts, when the reality is you are seeing it from a perspective that changes with each day....namely, mine. I recognize my girlfriend and I have issues to work out, and I am determined to deal with them (you know what they are) if they rare their ugly heads again. Fact is, I could probably point out faults with your significant others if I wanted to. Some of you don't dive into your personal lives live I have, but there are blogs I read that do. I then say to myself, "You know, I have it good. I have to have faith I will be man enough to make my feelings known if the time comes when these issues cause problems." Bottom line is, if my girlfriend isn't willing to to let me have a life outside of our relationship, it's not going to work.

I've seen signs this weekend where her return to work, combined with more of a committment by me to spend time together, will allow that with no protest by her. I accept she will not get along with certain people, but with those who mean most to me, she does. My parents, my family members, my best friends, some of their significant others; they all adore her and continually sing her praises. It will take more time, but I have faith our battle last weekend was a building block. I already informed her I will be going up to Master K's to see his new condo, and I think it's understood she doesn't have to come due to her feelings towards his girlfriend Shep. I explained his disappointment that I have made no effort to make it up to his new condo since he got it in June, and she understood. Furthermore, she is willingly coming with me to my buddy Tall Paul's suprise 30th at the end of the month, which will be an event loaded with my college friends.

Do I believe the adjustment period is over? Not by a long shot. We're only 7 months into this relationship, and we both have years of singledom to get out of our system. I think Batgirl is going to make the effort to co-exist with the large collection of friends I have, so as long as I make the effort to give the alone time she enjoyes. You know what? I enjoy that time too.

posted by That 30's Guy @ 10:55 PM, |