Streets of Philadelphia & The 4th
July 05, 2007
I figure this week is going to be a light one in terms of readership, so I'm kicking back. I did, however, mean to give you a report on my maiden voyage to the "City of Brotherly Love."
Vegas' bachelor party was this weekend. I made a pit stop along the way to meet up for dinner with The Politician and to crash with Gian before he and I continued the ride into Phillie. We met with our crew, hit a Mexican restaurant around the corner from the hotel, then hopped on the subway to Citizen's Bank Ballpark to see the Mets simply throttle the Phillies in their own house. Following the game, we did what any good tourists would do, and that is make the pilgrimage to the famous cheese steak stands in the slums of South Philly, Geno's Steaks and Pat's for dinner.
After freshening up in the hotel, the crew made it's way out to Archful Dodger for brews, The Dog House where Jager-Bombs were being inhaled, followed by the unexpected visit to probably the most asexual strip club I've ever set foot in, Delilah's. What's funny is it was the largest collection of gorgeous topless dancers I've seen since my buddy, the Fed's, bachelor party at Mons Venus in Tampa two years ago. Yeah, I couldn't resist the coaxing from Vegas to get a lap dance, and I'm glad I did. This "Italian bird" knew how to get good wood with grinding action of her backside. Oh, and a reach down to fondle the package helped also.
Here now are my takes on the Philly experience--a place I won't be returning to anytime soon, by the way.
- The female talent was a major surprise. Everywhere we went and looked, there was some fine looking ladies crossing my path. New York and Chicago....you've got some competition.
- Phillies fans may be the most bitter baseball fans I've seen since White Sox fans before they won the World Series in 2005.
- Anyone who says that fantasy baseball takes away from the game needs to attend a game where they have no emotional attachment to the teams playing. I had 3 Mets and 1 Phillie on my squad who played Saturday, and I was glued to the diamond.
- Citizen's Bank Ballpark has a lot of cool amenities, but the fact is it looked nothing like Turner Field, which I visited in 2002, and it reminded me a lot of US Cellular Field (formerly Comiskey) on Chicago's South Side. Either way, it's a more comfortable place to catch a game than that rundown bandbox the Red Sox call home.
- I feared for my life walking through the 'hoods to get to Geno's from the subway. The ghetto Rocky lived in in Rocky I looked like Beverly Hills compared to these streets.
- I've had better cheese and steak sandwiches at D'Angelo sandwich shops in New England than the one I got at Geno's. Simply overrated. I heard from the guys who hit Pat's that it wasn't much better.
- Just what is the deal with Delilah's? They have the traditional stage where patrons can sit and gawk at the girls and shove dollar bills into their G's or their fake D's. What was unusual was this center stage that jutted out above the bar, and you could not do anything but admire the dancers from your barstools. What's stranger is the lack of girls walking around to solicit a lap dance. Here we were, a bunch of guys looking to spend cash, but all we could find were these girls in red dresses charing $500.00 for a private dance! What's even stranger: a lot of the "$500 girls" couldn't hold a candle to the girls on stage. The plus side is I spent maybe $40.00 in there tops.
- Strange city. You'd be driving in a completely depressing neighborhood, then suddenly see it clean up and go mid-town swanky, then suddenly resemble the Village in New York City. There is no gradual transition.
- The smell of urine while we stood on the subway platform almost made me pass out, and after years of travelling in NYC's subways, you'd think I would be used to it.
- Has nothing to do with Philly, but during my pit stop near the Jersey Shore, a belief I've always had was justified: New Jersey produces some of the hottest chicks in the country.
As for my 4th of July, the 2007 edition, there isn't much excitement to report. Batgirl hosted her family, and invited my parents and siblings to join. My brother completely blew off the invite, and my sister already had plans with her boyfriend and their group. Our folks seemed to get along great after some initial awkwardness (they've only been around each twice in the 17 months we've been together). It felt like a real family get-together at a home I shared with Batgirl. I grilled the dogs and burgers while our father's walked the grounds looking for work that needs to be done to the landscaping. Conveniently, the party dispersed around 6pm, leaving the rest of the night for she and I to chill out.
No fireworks again this year, but I don't mind. I've lived a lifetime of watching them. Once you've seen the Macy's 4th of July fireworks extravaganza live in the Big Apple, you're pretty much ruined for all other displays. Sorry but the local show sponsored by the small town recreation department can only be a letdown. Give me another showing of Office Space on Comedy Central and some "quality time" between the sheets any day.
posted by That 30's Guy @ 9:55 PM,
