So...This Is My 30's?

Testosterone Tuesday
September 26, 2006

Judging by my stat counter, last Tuesday's first ever installment of "Testosterone Tuesday" was a big success. It was by best readership day of the week. Like a greedy Hollywood producer, I'm going to milk a concept until it's no longer of interest. Think James Bonds movies.

The Boston Red Sox's season was officially ended this weekend, and I didn't find out until Sunday night. Oh well. Not that I cared. Unlike a handful of Red Sox Nation-members, I knew this team was on a road headed to nowhere as early as the beginning of August. Luckily for me, I watched exactly one game in a near-two month span. No wonder I've felt good!

So now we look towards 2007. Hopefully it will be year where we no longer have to hear these three words: Manny being Manny. Just like in his first season with the Sawx, Money Ramirez shut it down due to "injury" when the team needed him most, although he did make a pinch-hit appearance on Saturday night. Apparently, for the 100th time since arrive to Boston, everyone's favorite goofball with a big bat has demanded through his agent that he be traded in the offseason. With two more years unmercifully left on his contract, I think some team desperate to make a splash may be able to work something out. Unfortunately for the Sox, his departure would mean more dead money on the payroll. They already are eating portions of Edgar Renteria's contract as part of the trade with Atlanta this past offseason. What's another $5 million to get Manny off your hands.

This guy is not the type I want to see on this team. Never has, never will be. His bat is replaceable. His attitude is unwanted. It's time to say "bye bye" to Manny being Manny. Use that money to fill areas of need on the roster.
I'm going to man up and take my beatings. Yes, I picked the NY Giants to go to the Super Bowl before the season started. Yes, I've been a Giants fan since 1986. After Sunday's performance against Seattle where Big Blue was down 42-3 after ONE HALF of football, I can honestly say this is one of the top 5 Monday's I'm embarrassed to call myself a Giants fan. In three games, this team has shown no ability to play defense, poor pre-game preparation, and absolutely zero intelligence. Thank God they go on bye this week, because this team in in dire need of self-reflection. If it weren't for a Hail Mary pass last week to Plaxico Burress, this team would be 0-3. Simply a forgettable September.
Speaking of 0-3, that's what my fantasy football team is after three weeks. For the first time in my 14 years of playing FF, I don't have one fucking win to start the season. It doesn't get any better: my best player, Shaun Alexander, is out indefinitely with a broken foot. Yeah, I was smart enough to draft his back, Maurice Morris, but I've got nothing but underachievers on the supporting cast. 0-5 is a very real possibility.
Whoever says they don't believe in the "Madden Curse" should drop me a note. I'm now a believer.
When I said I wasn't buying the Detroit Lions back in June, I proved why I don't play the stock market. Who'd have thunk it?
That said, the Yank-me's are still the team to beat in the AL, even if they don't win homefield advantage.
Say what you want about Tampa Bay's Chris Simms, but playing an entire half of football with a ruptured spleen, throwing up blood on the sidelines, and bringing your team to take a lead proved to me what he's made of. I just hope he gets a chance to be as great as his father, Phil (former NY Giant QB).
Just what the hell is a spleen, anyway?
I'm totally digging Cobie Smulders, who plays Robin on CBS's How I Met Your Mother. I was surprised to read she has a recurring role on Showtime's The L Word, a story about a group of lesbian women trying to make their way. Nice.
Don't look now, but I think the Indianapolis Colts are on their way to another long winning streak. They host the hapless Titans this week, visit the Jets in week 5, then go on bye before hosting the overrated Redskins. Their next real test isn't until week 8 against Denver in Invesco Field.
Congrats to Trevor Hoffman for breaking Lee Smith's record for career saves, but why are we talking Hall of Fame for Hoffman when the man's whose record he topped isn't even in?
This guy Garciaparra who plays for the Dodgers--he's a pretty good clutch hitter. Where was that clutch hitting when he played for a team in Boston?
I'm convinced New England Patriots fan are obsessed with Peyton Manning and the Colts. Memo to the Patsie Yahoos: worry about your team first, cuz you ain't in the Colts' class right now. This isn't the team that won three Super Bowls.
I know this clip is degrading to women, but you have to laugh when someone tries to stuff a dollar bill down a news reporter's blouse while she is going live.
Memo to the Chicago White Sox: you blew it this year.
So will the Florida Marlins if they fire likely NL-Manager of the Year winner Joe Girardi, as is being reported.
For as much of a bag of wind Jeremy Shockey may sound like, he hit the nail on the head criticizing the Giants' coaching staff after Sunday's game. With that much talent, this team should be at a minimum 2-1. Too bad he backtracked on those comments, because since Tom Coughlin's arrival, I see the same soft play and undisciplined football that spelled the end of the Jim Fassel era.
While the match up may not have excited you, the run out on the field by the New Orleans Saints prior to last night's MNF game with the Falcons should have given you goosebumps...or you're just not human.