When I Grow Up...
December 01, 2006
First I just have to thank Britney Spears and "her bare beaver" for all the traffic she drove to my blog yesterday. I got a kick out of what the most common search term for her most intimate--well, no longer that intimate--of areas was. Here's a clue: I used it in my opening sentence.
New day, new subject now.
As many of you longtime readers know, I left the job I had for the last four years to take the position I currently have at a new company. It's now been over four months already, and while I've gain quite a bit of knowledge so that I can be at least effective in this new industry to me, I still have a long way to go. Unfortunately, there is not enough time for "a long way to go." I am buried. Almost to the point I'm beginning to lose a handle on the workload.
I inherited the work that was once handled by my cousin, who is still at the same company and in the same office. At the time I came in, he was up to his ears in assignments and was extremely happy to have me on board. He could breathe a little bit easier once I got up to speed on how to do the job and concentrate on the new hot product the company is selling, instead of dealing with two. Well, the older product I handle is still a hot seller and business is rolling in. Now, we BOTH are up to our ears.
Now while I am not as swamped as I was when I left my old job, I'm still doing the work of two people. That was one of the biggest problems I was dealing with my final 2 years at the old employer, except there I was doing enough work to occupy 3 people. Being busy is good, but being overwhelmed with assignments in an industry that's 4-months-old to you is very intimidating. While it was exciting to me to go on to a fast-growing company, it's now become apparent to me this place is going to suffer the same problems my old employer was: growing too fast for its own good.
Sometimes we think the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but the reality is, that's not usually the case. There have been days in the last two weeks or so when I left with that same trapped feeling I used to get leaving the old place. Deep down, I know my passion for this job isn't there. My passion growing up was to be creative for a living: Write movies, write books, direct, draw comics; those were things I thought I may do. Then as I got older, my interest in sports deepened and I became fascinated by the world of sports broadcasting. I pursued that dream in college, only to find the money wouldn't be there when I graduated, it would be hard to break in unless you had connections, and settling down in one place for more than a year would be a rarity. I opted to become a "suit" and later got into sales, only to step backwards into a customer service role, then to what I'm doing now. Except I don't wear a suit.
Don't get me wrong. This company is a lot more enjoyable to work for in terms of the people. Their mood is better, I have a lot more guys I can relate to, and we do find ways to have a laugh throughout the day. It's just, when you're sitting at your desk and not sure how to solve the problem that has arisen, or how you even got there, it makes you ask yourself,"What am I doing here? This isn't me!"
The company Christmas party is actually tonight, and it should be a good time since it's being held at one of downtown's ritziest hotels. Batgirl and I wil get dolled up, and get a room there for 65% off the normal rate as part of the company block. There's no doubt in my mind that there will be a more festive feel to it than the parties I attended the last two years at the last company (who incidently invited me to attend their holiday party in a couple of weekends; I won't be going due to Nern's 30th birthday party that night).
Yeah, I'm sure I may be whining because of stress, but I do wonder if I should be listening to these thoughts. Afterall, I am just 4 months into a new job, new industry, and possibly a new career. This is a company that has grown substantially in the last 5 years, so it must be doing something right. I just wish I knew what it was like to be professionally satisfied because I can honestly say that in 8 years of being out in the real world, I've never felt it.
posted by That 30's Guy @ 6:30 AM,
