Parents Just Don't Understand
November 25, 2006
I had a good, long post and somehow Blogger erased everything but the text.
Fantastic.
In a nutshell, Batgirl went against her parents advice and on Wednesday she decided to go through with the offer. Yesterday, with me by her side, she signed a purchase and sales agreement. No going back now. The closing is at the end of next month. She was exciting, hooping and hollering, hugging me. I contained my enthusiasm because I could see storm clouds fast approaching one the horizon. She withheld her decsion from her parents so they could enjoy Thanksgiving, but made the right decision to let them know last night.
The storm was a big one. In what has to be the most unnecessary act of dramatics I've ever heard two parents peform, Batgirl was battered into feeling self-doubt and guilt once again. I did not accompany her for I didn't feel it necessary to be put through a ringer and be blamed for her "disobeying." They came off as hurt, especially her mom beacause she was "left in the dark" on this reversal decision since the Monday night scene. In fact, she is so "hurt" that she wouldn't speak with Batgirl by the time she left their house.
Pardon me, but is Batgirl doing something awful here like marrying a cold-blooded murderer, or gambling away their life savings?
Meanwhile, her dad is claiming that the mortgage broker, who's been doing this job for 30 years and is heavily recommended to clients by Batgirl's realtor, contends that he miscalculated the quoted monthly payments by $600 (should Batgirl decided to go with interest only payments the first 5 years). Thankfully, Batgirl will be taking her dad with her when she goes to meet the broker on Wednesday. I tend to think the broker knows how to calculate mortgage payments since he does it for a living, how 'bout you? At least he's showing something by going with her.
Needless to say, I'm pissed about the lack of support, and as a result it's leaving Batgirl an emotional wreck. She been a roller coaster ride for two weeks. Happy one minute, sad the next. They ask her what I think about this, and she never tells them the answer she should,"He's behind me 100% because he knows this is something I really want--just like you should be." Truth is, before we met this was something she has wanted. This house came out of nowhere. She found about it when she wasn't really looking. It has nothing to do with me, except that she cares if I like it in case we decide to get married. Logically, I'd buy in to the place if we did. I do like it, especially since it makes her so happy. Why is it her parade needs to be rained on?
What's makes ME unhappy is the strain on me. On us. I spent my Friday night on the couch, waiting and waiting for hours while she was beaten down for making an adult decision that doesn't affect her family's financial well-being. We were supposed to go out to celebrate. My stomach was left in knots, and has been physically uneasy ever since the day she went to the open house two weekends ago, putting the spotlight on our future. It's definately affected our sex life, too. I noticed we don't go at it like we used to. Even on Wednesday night, which was my traditional guys night out before Thanksiving, I welcomed not having to worry about her, the house, the drama. I also had a girl heavily flirting with me at Nern's in the late night hours, to the point I fantasized about banging the shit out of her that night. I think if I really wanted to, I could have got her digits and set up a rendez-vous, but that's not me. I love my girlfriend too much. What troubles me is I was enjoying the flirting so much that I didn't leave until she announced she and Nern's cousin (who had brought her over) was leaving.
Before Thanksgiving, I started to strongly considered making financial plans to buy a ring. Now, I think I need to hold off. If decisions she and I make will somehow always affect the mental well-being of her family, then that's not a marriage I can be a part of. I do truly like her parents, but the events of these last two weeks really have changed my opinion of them. I'm so much more grateful than ever to have two parents who will stand by me when I want to make a decision, and will do whatever they can to help out when I make it.
posted by That 30's Guy @ 11:58 AM,
