Reliving A Difficult Day
November 06, 2006
Don't ask me the reason, but I thought I'd recognize that on this very day one year ago, That 30's Guy suffered what is probably the greatest heartbreak of his life.
The best part is, I didn't realize it until tonight. It's amazing how much one can grow in a year. Of course, it helps when you've met someone and are deeply entrenched a great relationship.
About this time, my boys and I were in a local sports bar. The Giants had just beaten the 49ers, and Nern was whipping my ass in Golden Tee. An hour or so after Nern dropped me off, the realization I would never hear the voice of my long distance love broke me down. My good friend Vegas called me from NYC to see how I was doing and I girly-manned out and broke down. It was the second time of the day. The first was when she broke the shocking news. We both were emotional wrecks as she explained (somewhat) why we should end our 5-month affair that spanned across a 1,000 miles. Funny thing was in spit of the distance, I nevr felt closer to anyone emotionally. We were on the phone night after night, supporting each other when our jobs wore us down, bringing a smile to the other's face, and even engaging in the occasional "conjugal" conversation. Then, when the long 3-4 week wait was over, we'd share a long weekend together, almost like we were a couple sharing an apartment.
Eventually, it all became too much for her. She sensed I loved her, and something or someone convinced her she didn't love me. She ended it one week after she flew out to see me. It cut me like I'd never been cut before. I knew I'd bounce back, but the question was when? I thought I got my answer a week after the big dump, when I headed to NYC for "Brewtopia"--an annual beer-tasting convention. Vegas invited me down to forget about things, and I was introduced to his girlfriend's single friend. By 2am that night, I was on my way to her apartment with visions of her D's cups smooshing my face. Except, it didn't happen. I opted to not go through it. My mind was 1,000 miles away.
The healing process began, and within a three more weeks, I decided to "go for it" and met a younger girl at an alumni function for my college. I took a line out of Risky Business and said"What the fuck?" I got a number, and by the end of January I had a New Year's Eve date and we were rocking the walls of a hotel room in Groton, CT after mauling each other on the dance floor of the party we attended.
I never saw what came next, though. Batgirl came next. We were set up by, of all people, my parents. The fling with the young girl ended abruptly a few weeks after New Year's, by her choice no less, and I once again said, "What the fuck?" I met this unknown woman, and nine months later, I'm very much in love. What's best is she is in love with me. We came along at a time when we both were very jaded, and we've helped each heal and move on to embrace our relationship.
Still the scar from the wound caused by my heartbreak last November 6 is very much present. I wear it like a badge. Reason being, I learned how to love during that 5 month long-distance relationship. I learned what it's like to be involved with a woman, and not a little girl. I also appreciate the access we have to each other's life. I value every laugh I hear, every memory we make week after week, every emrbace we share. Sure, the ride has had more bumps than in the beginning, but it's how we handle it that speaks volumes. So far, I say we've passed with flying colors.
I don't know my ex is up to now. I know she still lives in the same city. I think she actually sent a letter to another blogger seeking advice recently(the background info and other details were too uncanny). Regardless, I look back fondly on that time we spent together, and I truly hope she has been able to figure out how to let someone into her heart. She showed me the way to, and for that I am grateful to have known her.
posted by That 30's Guy @ 9:07 PM,
