So...This Is My 30's?

Testosterone Tuesday
October 03, 2006

Well, it's October. I think. At least, that is what the calender says.

For the first time since 2002, Red Sox Nation will not be able to see any playoff magic. The odds of that happening died a long time ago. Sure, last year's sweep at the hands of the White Sox wasn't all that enjoyable, but it was still playoff baseball. It's too bad because the last three Octobers--especially 2004--were quite the ride. It was extremely depressing to tune in to yesterday's rain-shortened game to see nearly empty seats in Fenway Park on a rainy day in a worthless game. On the mound was the likes of Dervan Hansack, and not Curt Schilling pitching in a do-or-die/ must-win game to get into the postseason. You even go to the Red Sox website and there is no talk about tomorrow; there is talk about where they go from here. Depressing.

I really do feel for fans of teams like the Royals, Devil Rays, and Brewers who just don't even know what it is like to have your team get a chance, no matter how remote, at winning a World Series. I guess I can't complain since I'm among that group of baseball fans fortunate enough to know that each offseason, my team's front office will do everything it can to ensure the team can make a run at contending. Then again, if the Red Sox brass have another winter like the one we experienced last year, I may as well just sleep through summer in hopes the Giants will get it right in 2007.

I've had more than my fill of T.O. Last week starts with the talk about whether or not he'll play against the Titans since he was recoving from a broken finger. It then takes a turn for the worse when it's reported he tried to drug himself to death with painkillers. It then takes another turn and, with a smile, he sets the record straight that he was mixing pills and had a bad reaction. It then culminates with him playing Sunday, and it's later revealed a sex tape is out on the internet of him and two girls where he gets a Dirty Sanchez.
Oops. Sorry. That last part was Dustin "Screech" Diamond. With all the T.O.,talk, I thought he found his way into that story, too.
After seeing some recent photos of her partying in Vegas, I'm going to say what I believe 1 out of every 3 hot-blooded and horny American male is really thinking, but afraid to admit: I'd bang Paris Hilton in a heartbeat.
My upset special of the MLB playoffs: The San Diego Padres stun the St. Louis Cardinals. A small part of me wants to take them over the Mets, too, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
To all you Pedro Martinez-lovers who ripped the Red Sox for letting Greedy Petey walk last season because he wanted a 4-year deal: how's your hero looking now?
I was just as surprised as anyone--including Patriots fans--to see New England lay a serious smackdown on the Bengals in their house. I think that game proved two things: The Bungles, er, Bengals are not quite in the elite yet, and two, there are such things as emotional letdowns after a team gets a big win (the Bengals beat their rivals, the Steelers, last weekend).
The suspension of the Titans' Albert Haynesworth was fair. What he did was disgusting, and it just puts another black eye on what will be a miserable season in Nashville. That said, Head Coach Jeff Fisher would be best served to move on and coach a team that also wears blue and needs to get tougher in the Northeast next season.
That el foldo by the Detrot Tigers down the stretch came a couple of months later than I thought we'd see. The Yankees are lucky thet will catch the Tiggers at this point in the season, and not when they were at their peak. Yanks take their playoff series in four, all the way to the World Series.
Kudos to the Twins for surviving a dreadful start to sneak past Detroit and win the AL Central.
Speaking of the Twinkies, I'm going with Justin Mourneau, and not his teammate Joe Mauer, as AL MVP--but not by much. On a team that was devoid of impact hitters for so long, Mourneau fulfilled his promise in 2006. Mauer, in the meantime, won the AL batting title over Derek Jeter, which in my book gets big points. All the experts who favor Jeter over these two players need to just look at the Yanks lineup and see why you can't justify his selection as an MVP. Plus, I had Mourneau on my fantasy baseball team.
Can I get a do-over on my first ever 0-4 fantasy football team? I lost to a team this week that had THREE zero's in the lineup. U-G-L-Y.
My hat goes off to Trot Nixon, who came up in the Red Sox farm system to become one of the clubs most beloved players. While I was never a huge fan of him, I always knew what to expect from Trot year in, year out: a lot of effort, solid leadership, and a trip or two to the DL. Wherever he ends up, he'll become a fan favorite there, too. When he plays.
If I had my way, Mark Loretta and Alex Gonzalez would remain with the Red Sox, Manny Ramirez would be dealt, and the money saved from shipping his ass out could bring in Jason Schmidt, Barry Zito, or Eric Gagne, or a combination of any two.
How luck am I? The hottest girl in the office was moved next to my desk. Too bad she's dumb as rocks.
I'm psyched. We are just one night away from the season premiere of Lost. I can't wait to see how hot Evangeline Lilly is looking!
To Miami Dolphins fan, I know the disappointment you're feeling now.
My choices for the other of baseball's 2006 top award winners: Ryan Howard (NL MVP), Roy Oswalt (NL Cy Young--it's a weak crop), Johan Santana (AL Cy Young), Jim Leyland (AL Manager of the Year), and Joe Girardi (NL Manager of the Year).
Say what you want about the Jets, but they sure as hell are showing me a lot more than I expected to see from them in 2006.
A moment of silence please. One of my biggest celebrity crushes, Amanda Peet, is not only pregnant, but getting married to some screenwriter. One of my favorite photos is one with my arm around Amanda at a WB party back in 2000. If only I had game back then...
Am I the only one NOT surprised to hear the likes of Miguel Tejada, Brian Roberts and Roger Clemens are being accused of taking performance enhancement drugs?
Did you see where Eva Longoria has "amicably split" from Tony Parker? What was a hot piece of American tail doing with a French guy anyway?