Workloads, Home Improvements, and Heart
May 22, 2007
I wish I could update like I used to, but the fact of the matter is that I'm just drained after being on edge at work all day long. Sitting at my desk typing after doing it throughout the day is just not as appealing as it once was. Attribute that to turning 30 and soon to be 31, I guess. The last month has been nothing short of chaotic, with my workload being almost unmanageable. There is light at the end of the tunnel, however.
Last Thursday I trained someone on how to do the same job as me, and her function will be to share in my workload. She's being promoted from within, although I have my doubts about how she'll end up doing in this job. English is her second language, and in a job where you need to be able to convey telecommunications to the everyday small business owner, clear and clever ways of putting things is a must. I hope she does ok, but the promotion seems to me to be a decision made in desperation. The guy who I've known about being moved to my department comes on board in another week, so if I can hang on, I think life will become a little smoother.
Since it seems like I have nothing but negative things to talk about here when it comes to Batgirl and our relationship, I thought I'd convey to the audience the type of girl I have. This past Sunday, I tried my hardest to be a Mr. Fix It and tackle the upstairs toilet in Batgirl's house the one day wouldn't stop running after her brother dropped a deuce in that bathroom. Luckily, it flushed, but the damn toilet kept running. The valve was shut off and had been that way since February. I figured it was about time to TCOB. I went online, printed up some tips on how to fix it. Unfortunately, I saw nothing that provided a clue as to what the problem was.
Frustrated, I called my dad to see if he had any time to swing by and give me a hand. He told me it wouldn't be for another couple of hours, so I went outside to replace one of my headlights. The bulb had burned out after nearly 5 years (pretty good lifespan, eh?). Unlike the ease the owner's manual suggested, it became nearly impossible without a few more tools Batgirl didn't have. I would have to wait for dear old dad. Man did I feel useless.
At about 5:30--more than three-plus hours after I had called, That 30's Dad showed up with my mom being an unexpected guest. While Batgirl and That 30's Mom chit-chatted in the living room, my father and I figured out the whole float system needed to be yanked out. It was going to be a mad dash to the nearest Home Depot before they clsoed. By the time we finished it was just after 7pm. None of us had eaten, but Batgirl didn't have anything quick to prepare. My parents had chicken marinating at home, so they told Batgirl not to worry, she didn't have to cook anything up for them. Batgirl insisted though as she was so grateful for my dad going out of his way and getting the toilet working. She told them she'd bring dinner over to them on Monday night, especially since my dad was getting a minor procedure done on his knee.
Boy did she ever thank them. She whipped up a combo of linquine, shrimp prepared in garlic and oil, mushrooms, and a vodka sauce. In addition, she brought over salad and Italian bread, complete with olive oil and the seasonings for dipping. Of course, yours truly had to drop in after work to have the leftovers. Point is, she didn't have to go so over the top, especially when she had to scramble home after work in order to prep the meal, then drive it over to the parents' place. Plus, she didn't even take out a portion for herself. Because she has such a kind and generous heart, she felt it was the right thing to do. That's one of the traits about her that I so admire.
posted by That 30's Guy @ 9:33 PM,
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Super-sized Post
May 16, 2007
My long absences from posting has probably dwindled down my readership to 7 loyal readers. I honestly have been trying to get to the computer to post, but once I sit at my desk after 7pm, get caught up on reading my favorite sports, humor and trash sites, it's too damn late to be banging away at a keyboard. I'm gonna try to make up for it tonight, especially since tomorrow (or today, depending on when you read this) is Thursday and everyone knows few bloggers get to read or post anything with the weekend just a day away. Where do I begin...
Lamer Duck. You'll recall from my last post that I have been struggling with my future in regards to living arrangements. Well, this past weekend that feeling strengthened. After spending all of Sunday away from my house, I got home late Sunday night. My brother and his girlfriend had already retired to his bedroom for the night following "The Sopranos." I went to my refrigerator to get a drink, and to my surprise I see on the door...two photos of my brother's girlfriend. One was of the two of them embracing, the other of her raising her arms in some sort of celebratory manner. If I didn't feel like I was being pushed out of the house before, I truly was now.
Let me take inventory. Her shampoo, body wash, deodorant, razor, and toothbrush are in the bathroom. My brother and her did some landscaping in the front yard last weekend without telling me they were going to do that. Early on Sunday, they removed our coats from the closet in the kitchen to put up shelves and make it a pantry without telling me. On the window sill above the kitchen sink is some girly plaque that reads "Home is where your story begins." Now, I have no choice but to have her presence shoved in my face every time I want to stuff my face.
Wow. I suddenly feel like a guest in my own house. How does one, who is expecting to move out in the coming future, go to his own brother and say,"Don't you think your girlfriend is imposing on our living space just a little too much?" For Batgirl's faults when it comes to relating to other women close to her own age, I think she got the right read on my possible future sister-in-law. She noted how quickly this girl stuck her toothbrush in the toothbrush holder after she and my brother began to see each regularly, almost like a soldier claiming victory on foreign soil by staking a flag. If she saw the photos on the fridge of her boyfriend's home, she'd freak. I think I agree with her assessment that this girl is a bit insecure, and agree that this is her way of claiming her stake in my brother's life. Anyone who comes around here is going to know, he has a woman and is off-limits.
As for Batgirl, she never asked if she could leave any of her things here out of respect for my brother (and our roommate who moved out last Spring). She's never tried to stick up pictures she gave me of herself or the two of us anywhere in the house--and even in that she left it up to me to hang them. All I have, and need, is a 5" x 8" photo of us at her friend's wedding on my dresser.
I admit I haven't been around here much on weekends, nor been proactive about home improvements in recent months, but I think this is beginning to push the envelope. Batgirl really needs my assistance with her house, and I am surely putting that ahead of my own place's needs since she's on her own at her home. However, until I'm ready to get engaged, this is where I will live 75% of my days. I think I deserve the consideration.
Inconvenient Wedding. Yesterday, Vegas sent out an informational email to all of his groomsman, pertaining to the schedule for his wedding weekend in Vermont. As I feared, he is scheduling the Friday rehearsal for a very inconvenient 5pm. This all but secures a potential conflict for Batgirl and I. The week before Labor Day weekend (the weekend of the wedding) is when school gets back in session for Batgirl. I question she will be able to take a vacation day so soon. If she can't get that Friday off, I don't see her willing to drive up all that way alone. I am required to be up for rehearsal, so this poses a big problem.
I want my girlfriend to be up there with me, but I don't want to put her through the stress of taking time off so soon for the next school year when this one isn't even over yet, especially for a wedding I know she isn't all that enthused about giving up our holiday weekend for. What I don't get is the ceremony is going to be at 6pm Saturday night, followed immediately by the reception. Why not do the rehearsal the next morning? Now, I have to spend an extra $100+ for a 2nd night in the hotel. I don't know. The more I look at my August, which will be 3 weddings in 4 weeks, I'm beginning to agree with Batgirl: weddings can be nothing but an inconvenient and expensive pain in the ass.
Saturday Night is All Right For...Staying In. The last few weekends, Batgirl and I have had a great time, but it isn't from going out on the town. For Cinco De Mayo, we just drank a few margaritas with a Mexican feast we cooked up. The week before, I made us a half a pitcher of Mojito. Last weekend, we polished off a big bottle of Merlot with steaks we cooked on the grill. Oddly, I've been cool with these types of stay at home Saturday nights. I never was someone who liked to stay in on a Saturday. Of course, that was a time I wasn't trying to keep spending down.
The gain from this, beside savings, is the amount of talking we've done. During the week, we mainly talk on the phone and don't see a lot of each other. The weekends is when we tend to spend our quality time. This past Saturday was a good night as the buzz from the wine got us to talk openly about our past relationships, names we want for our kids, and sex. Oh yeah, and the sex has been great the last two weekends to boot. To follow up our great night, I surprised Batgirl with a Mother's Day bouquet of orange roses (she likes those type flowers) and a card from her dog. She really ate it up.
Still, there remains the specter of the talk we need to have: the one about marriage. I really think I'm beginning to become more at ease about the idea of settling down, however we have a host of things we need to get out on the table. I've been researching what goes into buying a diamond, what I need to know, and what I could potentially be paying. I just can't pinpoint when and how I can put money towards a ring or a wedding. I have loved the peace and passion we've had these last couple of weeks, but there remains that small part of me in constant stress that at any moment, she'll apply pressure on when I'm finally going to make the big proposal. I guess I can liken this next step I have to take to skydiving: you are standing at the open door, looking out into the big, blue sky then the scary drop below. All you have to do is take that first step and everything happens fast.
It's the unknown of how you'll handle that drop that makes it scary the most.
A New Blog On The Horizon? I've been doing some thinking. I love sports, as some of you know, or could tell from some of my comparisons or references. I also love to make my opinions known when it comes to the comings and goings in the sports world. While it's good to get the personal shit off my chest here, an excellent blog a friend of mine writes has got me to thinking I should do a sports blogs. Nothing but sports, and sprinkle in a little sex and pop culture when it's of male interest.
Back in February, my friend Big O wondered why I hadn't got into the blogging craze yet since my takes on sports are usually very entertaining (my friends don't know about this blog, and I like to keep it that way). Ever since, I've been considering the idea and the plan has been picking up some steam. Obviously, some free time will need to open up for maintenance of two blogs, so it's likely I'd keep the updates on an every 2-3 day basis, unless something of note happens that compels me to react. Also, no long posts like the one you've been reading. I just don't have the time or patience. Just thought I'd make it know. Unfortunately, folks, that blog would be for the buds, and those they refer to it, to read only. Not everything needs to be anonymous.
posted by That 30's Guy @ 11:24 PM,
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Lame Duck
May 09, 2007
I'm a few days overdue on a post, but here goes.
This weekend, I came to a realization that I feel like I am "between homes." What I mean by that is, I don't quite feel like I'm at home in the very house I've owned and lived in for the last 3 1/2 years, and when I'm at Batgirl's place, it's not quite my home either. I mean, none of my things are even there.
I guess this all hit me when I got home Saturday afternoon after spending Friday night and most of that next day with Batgirl. I pulled up to my house, and in the middle of my front yard was a newly planted tree, a bed of flowers along the top edge of the lawn, and new soil with grass seeds spread over some dead spots. My brother and his girlfriend did some landscaping prior to leaving for her place for the night. As pleasantly surprised as I was, I could not help but get the first sense that my days in this house are getting numbered.
My brother and I have owned this house since July of 2003. We bought it because we were paying $800.00 a month on rent for a 2 bedroom just outside of downtown, and this place was selling for a decent price. After some shopping on mortgages, we found that we could swing the house, especially if we rented the third bedroom of our single-floor ranch to someone. Since then, it's proven to be a good investment and at other times, a mistake. When he and I started to see our purse strings getting tight with just the two of us, we brought in a tenant and things seemed to be working out. In fall 2005, after I had been dating the girl from the Midwest all summer, I discovered the plane tickets and mortgage payments were sapping me. We ended up refinancing and using equity to take out extra money for renovations and to pay off our own high-interest debts. That ended up putting me on a right financial path since. Consider it a blessing I had this house. Now, I felt the time was coming for my brother and I to talk about what happens next should I decide to get engaged to Batgirl.
This is the third time he and I have talked about one of us moving out. The first time was when he was with his last serious girlfriend. She lived about 45 minutes away, owned her own place, and had asked the bro to move in with her. He was ready to do it. I really didn't have any options for a roommate to take his place, and my emails out to my whole range of local friends and acquaintances turned up nothing. In the end, they suddenly broke up and his move never happened. The second time was as recent as late January/early February when he was considering a move for his company to another state. Our plans for renovations on our kitchen went on hold since then, but in that time he finally got word he wouldn't be getting the job and he'd be staying here. Now came my turn to bring up the prospects of moving out.
To no surprise, my brother didn't seem the least bit sorry to hear I may be out by the fall. In his eyes, it would be great for him from a business standpoint to have me out of the picture. In my place, his current girlfriend (who is a financial disaster and has only been with him for several months) would move in and pay a little more than half the mortgage--likely to cover a small part of the taxes. If I were to be bought out, I'd only get back $9,000 in profit, which is not nearly going to cover my student loans I still owe. My brother could hang onto the house another 1-2 years and the work he continues to put in could raise the value more in a hopefully better real estate market when he decides to sell. Unfortunately, I wouldn't see the profit.
To the outsider, the right move would be for me to stay on board, but reality is, it wouldn't work. To begin with, Batgirl's mortgage is much more than mine. Secondly, the idea that a girl who owes over $17K in credit card debt is expected to pay me $700 for rent is a bit scary, even if it is my brother's girl. Lastly, Batgirl just would like to see me wash my hands of any legal or financial ties with my brother because he's never exemplified a sincere care for my well-being. If she's going to be marrying me, she fears I'd get screwed, which could also mean she gets affected. My brother and I don't have a warm relationship, and it seems to me that it's gotten even colder and more tense in the last several months. I guess you could say this contributes to my feeling of not being "at home" any longer. Afterall, since my brother and I had this talk, I get asked at least twice a week when am I moving out?
My parents are quite concerned about how my brother is handling it because they see it as him now trying to push me out the door before Batgirl and I have firmly committed ourselves to each other. Plus, they feel he's really jumping the gun on his girlfriend moving in with him. On Sunday, I admitted to my parents how I feel like I'm between homes, and that I still have a jury out on whether I can marry Batgirl. The main hang-up is my concern over whether or not she expects us to live in the bubble where it's me, her, our immediate families, and no one else. This talk is going to happen soon, but until then, I plan on helping renovate the kitchen and the house's exterior as we try to increase the value and my chances of a better profit. We'll then have the house appraised, and whatever the difference is between the mortgage balance and the determined value of the house, I'd get half as a cash buyout. It's the only fair solution we can come up with.
Yeah, it's pretty stressful right now, both professionally and personally. My parents went as far as offering me the extra room in their house, where I could stay there rent-free in order to save up and have money to not only pay loans, but pay for a possible wedding. Batgirl has made it clear, no ring--no move in. I respect that, and can't change her mind, especially knowing her folks would hold that against us. My parents' offer would make sense in that case. Still, to go back in with your parents at 31, after several years of living on your own, to me that's a hard pill to swallow.
posted by That 30's Guy @ 12:01 AM,
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Tit-alating Tidbits
May 01, 2007
Wow, it felt so good to post the other day that I thought I'd do it again. A few things to comment on today.
First, I just got off the phone with Batgirl, and she got word today that her 6-year-old black lab has a large cyst growing on her side. We discovered the growth this past weekend, and as coincidence would have it, the dog was scheduled to go in for a follow-up appointment today after her booster shot 2 weeks ago. Needless to say, it will require surgery and the cost is an astronomical $800-$1,100. This is clearly money that Batgirl, who owns a house, can't really afford to drop, however it is necessary. She is going to get a 2nd opinion and quote from an animal hospital.
I'm actually a bit shook up to hear this. I know how much the dog means to Batgirl, and I've come to like the dog to. She is so happy and playful. I'm really hoping that this turns out to be benign.
Secondly, you may recall that more than a month ago I told you about how my senior year college roommate, "The Politician," had decided to not attend our friend Vegas' wedding on Labor Day weekend. Well, out of nowhere last night, Politician called me and we spoke for over 2 hours. We hadn't taken time out to have a conversation in a very long time, not counting Super Bowl Sunday when we attended the wake of the father of our friend Gian. Since that day, I learned about his decision to bail on Vegas wedding, even though he was asked to be a groomsman.
Apparently, as part of his job, Politician travels a ton. I never realized how much until last night. As a matter of fact, he's on business about an hour north of where I live and he called because he was hoping we could meet up. For Vegas wedding, Politician is going to have to travel up to Vermont all the way from the Jersey Shore not long after coming home from another business trip. With his wife's friend also getting married the same day, Politician is opting to do that because instead of it taking up 3 or 4 days of his holiday weekend, it will only be that Saturday night where they'd be in a hotel, and be able to drive back an hour so to get home on Sunday morning. Couple that with the fact that Politician and his wife, Mo, don't make a lot of money, I'm now seeing his point as to why he is choosing not to.
Now, I don't approve of bowing out on a friend's wedding, but apparently Vegas hasn't really given him a whole lot of opportunities to hear him out. Knowing Vegas and how immaturely he can react to things, it doesn't surprise me. I did tell Politician I was disappointed that he would not be a part of longtime friend's biggest day, but followed up by saying that he is a grown man with a responsibility to his wife and his own well-being. If they're having a tough time financially, then being a part of a wedding that will require multiple nights in a hotel room, tux rental, gas, and anything else a weekend trip amounts to, I guess I can't blame him.
I want to extend a quick thank you for those who commented on my Saturday post. There was some excellent points, and a couple really hit home. There is no doubt that Batgirl and I need to discuss our stance on some topics that are certainly going to come up in the years that would follow the big party that is a wedding day. We definitely agree on 2-3 kids (I prefer 2, and sense we may be too old by the time we could go for a third), but have not talked about wedding size, where we'd have it, etc. I already can see the wedding party being a big problem. I have a half-a-dozen buddies who are like brothers to me, while the closest women to her in her life are her sister, sister-in-law and then a few others who are in their 50's. How strange a group photo would that be?! It's obvious, we have a ways to go, and I think the next time it comes up I will have to point out that the romanticism is outweighing the important stuff that need to be discussed.
Lastly, ending my post on a positive note, one of my managers was going through customer satisfaction surveys that our customer's fill out upon completion of services, and apparently I was getting nearly 100% satisfaction for feedback. It was quite gratifying to hear since I had never learned about any of the results before, and knowing how much busting my ass is appreciated by the customers is a very good feeling. I only wish my review was right around the corner because I could use a raise right about now. July or August is an awfully long way off.
posted by That 30's Guy @ 8:29 PM,
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