A Crazy, Wearying Stretch
February 09, 2007
Finally, I have a moment to sit down and update my blog. It seems like ages since I've posted anything remotely significant. Tonight, while it's a little later than I'd like it to be since I worked a near-11 hour day, I have some "oomph" to post.
I've gotten a kick out of some of the comments in the last week or so. The predictions of a marriage proposal and co-habitation with Batgirl were amusing. Alas, those decisions have not been made. Yet. Quitting the job is not in cards either as I have little room to gamble with finances. Thank God it's tax time. I could use a nice, fat return right about now.
Last week was one of the most draining I've ever had. I was coming off the great 1st anniversary weekend with Batgirl, when we had a little bit of a tiff a couple nights later. She was having a stressful first couple of days to begin her week, and things sort of boiled over last Tuesday night. We were having a fun conversation, when suddenly she got bitchy with me because I was talking about going on a ski trip with my dad and people from my last company I worked for, and how it interferes with the conference basketball tournament my college is playing in the same weekend. I have no clue why she went off, except that it made her feel like I'm prioritizing different things in my life, and I don't appear to be considering our future together...or something like that. I guess this was all amplified by something her brother-in-law did over that weekend, when he went to visit a friend of his on a Friday night in another state and ended up staying over, leaving his wife and infant daughter alone.
For the first time in the year we'd been together, I began to see that Batgirl was growing impatient about the marriage issue. Afterall, she's bought a house, one she envisions us living in as a married couple (and to an extent I can too). She's going to be 34 this summer, to boot. I didn't want to run away from the issue and I made sure I went over to her place the next night for a face to face talk.
It was a good talk. Not every card was put out on the table, but some of them. I've come to realize that there is a big part of me who wants to pop the question. I'm very happy with Batgirl, but then there are moments like last Tuesday night when the whole friends-thing comes up (or "Boys' Town" as her family calls it, when a guy puts a good time with his buddies ahead of responsibility and loved ones) and we don't see eye to eye. I then have my doubts I can live a life like this, one that is also for another. The revealing thing is I'm now starting to find out this is the same bullshit my friends go through behind the scenes. I never knew it before, and feel a bit relieved in a way.
An example is my old roommate had this "Boys' Town" issue with his girl until they moved in together last Spring. Now, they are engaged, and because they see each other daily, the occasion of doing things seperately every now and then isn't the big deal. it once was. The difference here, though, is Batgirl has already told me we can't live together unless we are married. I respect that, but I know the underlying reason for that isn't 100% her principles; it's her parents'.
To add to the struggle, I really can't afford a ring, and I have to become a more financially responsible person before I even think about becoming a husband and father. The cure for the finances could come if my brother does get moved to another state for his job.
That was another big bit of news from last week that really distracted me. He told me he's 99% sure this move will happen. If we can sell the house at the price it's worth, we could pocket about $30,000 each. That would pay off all of my student loans and other debt, with money left over. Of course, the other question would be where do I live. That, and how much we end up selling the house for is what makes the proposition of my brother moving out so scary. I can't afford the house alone, and I don't want to rent the rooms out to strangers. I'd also hate to give the place away and want fair value. Now is not a great time to sell.
Then there is work. On average, I'm working 10 hours a day, with maybe 20-30 minute break for lunch. Of course, that is if you consider eating while you work casually as lunch. As fast as my company has been growing, they seem to keep trying to do less with more on the service side (which I'm a part of). My project workload is ridiculous, and it's finally caught the attention of members of management. I'm not holding my breath, but it would be nice to see a hire to help me...and a little bump in pay wouldn't hurt either.
I wanted to elaborate so much more on events ch from the last week, but who the hell has time to read it all? If only I had been updating nightly. I'm thankful another hard week in the office is drawing to a close, however the weekend is going to be all about the finishing touches to Batgirl's house so she can finally move in during February vacation. Work never stops.
posted by That 30's Guy @ 12:19 AM,
