So...This Is My 30's?

Testosterone Tuesday
December 19, 2006

You know what? I'm gonna do something different this week. I'm not going to bitch about the New York Giants because anyone who watched them get soundly whipped by the Donovan McNabb-less Eagles yesterday can pretty much see what I've harped on all season long. It's not worth the time or space to repeat myself. All I want to say is, do us all a favor, Big Blue: don't waste another January weekend afternoon on me like you did last year. Just miss the playoffs, and get ready for 2007 with the hope this sorry excuse for a coaching staff is collecting unemployment, and Tiki Barber opts to come back one more year due to some unfinished business.

Onto the good stuff...

I never heard of Miss USA Tara Conor until late last week, but Oh My Gawd!!! This chick is smokin'! From the Pat O'Brien book of vocabulary, the whole idea of what she's been doing to lose the title is so...fucking...hot. Any other guys out there agree with me?
What the fuck is up with Britney Spears? I really want to know. I mean, isn't she a mother of two? Who the hell is watching her kids while she stumbles about in public with her vag on display, her breasts nearly visible, and more recently, half-dressed with her mis-matched lingerie for all to see.

It's closer than you think, folks. Brit will be in Playboy before the age of 30.
Saturday night's vicious brawl between the Knicks and the Nuggests reminded me just why I no longer watch the NBA.
Let me get this straight: Nuggest coach George Karl called Isiah Thomas "a jackass"? And this is some great revelation how?
I don't know if I'm in the minority, but I'm pretty stoked about Rocky Balboa, opening on Wednesday. Early word from critics is this will be a good one, erasing the bad memories of Rocky V.
As much as I hate the team, I have to give credit where credit is due. I never would have believed you if you told me the Philadelphia Eagles, without Donovan McNabb, would surpass my Giants and stand a better chance at making the postseason.
Never mind the crying of Giants fans everywhere; imagine how Carolina Panther fans must be feeling after seeing their team, a consensus Super Bowl favorite in the preseason, get embaressed at home by the Steelers 37-3 Sunday? Pathetic.
Finally, my nightmarish fantasy season ended this weekend, although one of the teams I had stood a real shot at taking it all had not most of my studs run into defensive powerhouses this weekend. My other team finished dead last for the first time in my 14 years of playing. Not a good feeling.
Ok. Great. The Red Sox seem to have bolstered their starting rotation, the middle relief, and the top of their lineup with the acquistion of Julio Lugo. What about our closer? Is this a repeat of 2003 when we had the infamous "bullpen by committee?" What about this sudden "snag" in the physical on JD Drew, thus holding up his deal with the Sox? I'll tell you one thing, Sox brass: let the deal fall through. Save yourselves the trouble of dealing with Nancy Drew's ailments for the next 5 years by cutting off the deal NOW!
Has anyone seen the carefully, but hilariously edited, clip titled "Seinfeld: The Lost Episode" where Kramer is exposed as a racist? Obvisouly this was born from the whole Michael Richards controversy of a few weeks back. While racism is not funny, the segment is worth a look. Some people just have way too much time on their hands.
The NFL made the right call in fining Terrell Owens for spitting in the face of Deangelo Hall of the Falcons on Saturday night. Now if only someone could lay a big hit on T.O. to knock his teeth out and shut his fat mouth, we'll be guaranteed him never spitting again.
You don't know terror until you've been to the doctor's office and heard the smack of a rubber glove being fitted on his hand.

Unless you're into that sort of thing.