Bachelor Party
August 06, 2006
With his wedding looming in two weeks, my friends and I celebrated our pal Nern's upcoming wedding by playing 18 holes (best-ball format) during the day yesterday, gathered at a bar for dinner in the evening, then hit the area's best known strip club at night.
I know I'm getting older, because by the time we all met up for dinner, I was wishing I could have a couple of hours for a nap. I must have had about 5 beers during our round of golf, and when you combine that with the sun, it takes a toll. When we sat down for grub, an ICE WATER next to my plate, to watch the Red Sox and Devil Rays, my ass was stuck to the seat. It wasn't until we got to the, ahem, "gentleman's club" that my blood got flowing again. Then again, if you had scores of hot chicks shaking their ass in front of your face, you'd wake up too.
My oberservations on the whole party start with the relationship between Nern and his future father-in-law. Mr. P is one of the coolest older guys I've ever met. He fits right in with our crew of 30-somethings. He and Nern's future uncle-in-law (if that's exists) hung until the very end. Nern's own father, who always has been somewhat of an enigma, only stayed at the first bar with us for dinner, and he was gone in about 2 hours or less. Mr. P, however, happily joined as at the nudie, and sat beside me sliding dollar bills into G-strings and between breasts. The guy even got a back rub while sitting at the stage! At one point, Nern yelled,"Hi Dad!" across the stage to him, and he yelled back,"Hi son! Having fun?" with a chuckle.
To me, that's the way a bachelor party should be. Everyone having fun, as long as the bachelor doesn't take it too far and disrespect his future wife and the man who brought her up. It's obvious Nern's new family is happy to have him marry their daughter, and they trust his judgement. Sometimes, I think people take the whole going to strip club thing too seriously. Yeah, there has been those horror stories of strippers and the party-goers or bacholor taking it too far, but for the most part nothing like that really happens. Some people are able to have fun with sex and keep it in perspective, while others are uptight and make the end-all/be-all. Mr. P is obviously the former, and I think Nern should appreciate the trust he's earned.
My next observation is one that's always struck me as amazing. It's the fact these girls, who are up on stage, baring all and allowing strangers to make a little bit of contact with them, can make it look like they are into the guy they're teasing. As a relatively attractive guy with some self-esteem issues, I sometimes buy into the act. While I've had a dancer openly say to me, "thank God you're cute! That guy over there is gross," the attention they're giving alone is enough to make you think I could get her.
I know the money they can rake in is tremendous, especially the place I went to last night, but what pushes a woman to do this for a living always intrigues me. Case in point is one of the dancers who smacked my face with her tits. She actually was once the little girl who grew up next door to me. I didn't know it was really her until she crouched down in front of me. I knew she worked there, but had been told it was as a cocktail waitress only. Since I hadn't seen in her in over a decade, I didn't expect her to know who I was, and she didn't (at least I was led to believe that). When she took my head and pushed it into her silcone-enhanced chest, I laughed a little bit and took it what it was worth: just fun for a couple of dollar bills. I never said who I was, or I knew who she was, but I wondered what made her take this path.
I don't know if I'll ever have a bachelor party in my honor, but if I do, I'm totally cool with hitting a strip club. I've already proclaimed that I want my bachelor party to be at a Red Sox-Devil Rays game in Tampa, with a follow-up at the famous Mons Venus (careful if you click!). We went there for my friend, The FBI Agent's, bachelor party two years ago. The women were so hot that even the members of my college crew who are not into strip clubs purchased a lap dance or two. What always surprises me is that particular bachelor party was different from the others of friends of mine. Believe it or not, Nern did NOT want any part of that scene last night.
Of the many friends of mine who have gotten married over the last several years, The FBI Agent's was the ONLY one where the bachelor really wanted to hit a strip club. The rule his fiance gave him for the party was that he not get any private lap dances (which we obviously didn't abide by).The rest of the BP's have been dinners in bars, event halls, or a Dave & Buster's, stand-up comedy acts, bowling, baseball games, football games, and dinner cruises. Not your average expectations of what a bachelor party would be. My guess is the bachelorette factored into the planning, but I do know in Nern's case after having known him for nearly 20 years, the strip club wasn't his idea.
I think he still had fun, and I know his wedding day will be all the more better.
posted by That 30's Guy @ 11:40 AM,
