Could WE Be Next?
July 09, 2006
Pretty exhausting last few days for That 30's Guy. Starting with the good news on Thursday that I would be offered a new job, the happiness carried over into Friday with the reception of the offer letter and benefits package I need to have filled out by next Monday and then the rehearsal dinner for Batgirl's brother and his fiance. Saturday, the wedding, and then today, dinner at my folks house...and the mental preparation to give me official 2-weeks notice tomorrow morning.
This post is about my first real experience in being part of a special event for a girlfriend's family, and where it's taking my thoughts. Never in all my years of dating have I been included in an event as important to a girlfriend's family as a wedding. Between the dinner on Friday night where everyone in Batgirl's family was hugging me and congratulating me on the new job, and sitting in the front rows with the immediate family members as Batgirl's brother exchanged vows with his bride, I really felt like part of the family. It's hard for me to fathom how close this woman and I have grown in 5 1/2 months, and how much her family values my being in their daughter's life. Believe it or not, I actually sat in the row with her parents at the request of her dad and her mom during the ceremony.
I honestly felt uncomfortable being up there that close, and being included in their family photos the night of the rehearsal dinner. You never know with relationships. One day you're madly in love, then suddenly be broken up when you least expect it. All this has been uncharted waters for me, and I'm not sure what to make of it. While I appreciate how welcome I am to be part of the family, I also had a hard time processing it early on Saturday. What if things between me and Batgirl fizzle out in a couple of months, or several months, down the road? Here I am in these photos capturing the most important event in the son's life to this point, locked in forever.
Then a strange thing happened at the wedding reception: I started settling into things. I became comfortable in the setting. I was off on my own at times, talking with guests, mostly cousins of hers whom I met a previous wedding we went to a couple of months ago. I didn't need her by my side all night. It was almost like I was, well, family. The eye-opening statement of the day, however, was made by one of Batgirl's cousins, she by my side: "Looks like you two are next."
This was the first time I began to feel the weight of expectations. I try to keep expectations to a minimum, especially when it comes to my romantic relationships. However, with Batgirl, I get the sense of hope from my family that this is THE ONE. I think yesterday gave me a sense that the same hope exists with hers. I mean, at the end of the night when her brother and new sister-in-law sharing their final dance, her dad was looking around for me to join with this family as the guests circled the happy couple. When I found my way in, he put his arm around my shoulders. I was touched by this gesture. On the other side of me was my woman, looking beautiful as ever, and as happy as she could be. This is a whole lot to process for a perennially single guy like me!
I'm sure some of this was from being caught up in the day, but I do wonder what might be going on in her head when it comes to our future. In a couple of weeks, we'll be celebrating our 6-month anniversary. Batgirl's 33rd birthday comes a few weeks later on the same day one of my best friends ties the knot. I know she wants to have a family of her own one day, and as she nears her mid-30's, time has to be a consideration. Our age difference isn't very great, but our places in life are slightly different. She's a divorcee (divorced for over 4 years), but making a great living for herself, and has saved wisely. Me--I'm just going to be hitting 30, still trying to find a good career, and I'm not quite where I'd like to be in terms of getting my financial future in place. Still, we are the best things to come along in each other's lives in a long time.
While we still have the issue about her interactions with my social circle to resolve (FYI--she's a natural around my family), I got a reminder yesterday of the kind of woman I have. She was elegant, beautiful, and fun-loving as she line danced with her sister in front of the guests. I thought to myself,"God I hope she can do this at Nern's wedding next month," because I know she'd really win a lot of people over who aren't sure about her yet. God knows, she's won me over in a big way.
So, I'm sure you are wondering--what going on in your head about this subject of "being next"? Well, it was nice for one day to sit back and say, you know, if Batgirl is going to be my wife, then I will be very happy. I'm sure, though, after some time alone in the next couple of days as I concentrate on my life again, I'll realize that there's still a lot more to learn about her and this is much too soon to even be considering. For now, we're having fun and are enjoying the excitement of what the future will brings us. Worrying about "being next" can wait a while longer.
Monday night: The Two Weeks Notice!
posted by That 30's Guy @ 11:00 PM,
