Relationship Ups & Downs
July 05, 2006
On the heels of my post regarding the trip to hang with my college buddies, my girlfriend by my side, it hit me how quickly there can be downs in a relationship with someone where there are so many ups. This was especially evident to me yesterday as we made our rounds to celebate the 4th.
The plan was to hit the beach house owned by the family of my pal, The Attorney, then skip over to Batgirl's friends home a few minutes away to end the day.
We get to the house, and I am greeted on the porch by the Attorney's dad and sister, the sister's new fiance, and a friend of the sister. Attorney made his way outside with his girlfriend (who Batgirl seems to get along with very well, yet the rest of us don't care for her due to some of her bahavior and treatment of my friend). We all sat down and chatted for a bit before his dad and future-brother-in-law decided to go in for a quick nap (the two had gone fishing very early in the morning) and the sister went with her friend to the beach. Things seemed to be going very well as the four us BS'ed before Attorney realized he needed to grab some rub for his ribs he was going to grill. Batgirl and I joined him for the ride so we could see the new house his parents were building on a nearby lot. As we sat in the car waiting from him to come back out, Batgirl went on to make a comment about how snotty Attorney's sister came across.
Now, I'll agree that she can come off that way--but in just a little under a half-hour, one can make that assumption? The comment didn't quite rub me the wrong way, but she really ticked me off when we left for the evening. The Attorney's dad came out and apologized for not spending more time with us, and I was totally fine with that. We got in the car and as we pulled out, Batgirl commented how The Attorney's dad was "so full of himself".
I was stunned by this comment and replied with,"That comment is waaay off base." The Attorney's dad has always been one of the most encouraging of my friends' parents, I added. He always asks how you were doing, what your were up to, and would offer advice when he could if you are struggling with something.
She retorted that the fact he went in to take a nap was rather rude. I pointed out that he was probably up by 5am that morning to go fishing (as is his usually his routine), and wanted to get some shuteye before dinner. Needless to say, she backed down. Still, I was pretty pissed because this was one judgement that she should have reserved.
Now, I don't want to come across as being unhappy with my relationship. Batgirl has done everything for me that I could want from a girlfriend. To knew readers, you may think she is a bitch. It's not true. As recently as Monday night, she grilled up a feast on her new grill, and we sat out in her backyard sipping wine and eating like royalty. Plus, she's really putting an effort into planning my 30th birthday bash. This woman really loves me, and she shows it (she wrote me a heartfelt card over the weekend, that really wamred my heart). The critical judgements, however, are a troubling characteristic. These people she's being introduced to are people I've know most of my life, and are people I respect and value. These are people who would be my guests at a wedding if we ever got married.
Yes, this is truly something I am miffed about today, and I'll need to discuss it with her before we have another event involving another couple(s). I'd do it sooner, but it's her brother's wedding this weekend and I do not want to upset her. She's stressed enough. Plus, I'd rather find the right words to delicately talk about this.
Being quick to judge is one of the things my mother constantly does, and it's a quality about her that I never cared for. Having it present in my girlfriend isn't welcome either.
posted by That 30's Guy @ 12:39 PM,
