So...This Is My 30's?

I guess you could figure this out...

2007-08-21T21:29:00.000-04:00

but my blogging days (at least in this capacity) are coming to a close. I just don't have a whole lot of time to spare. With football season coming up, my time in front of a computer (when it's not involving my job) is going to be spent updating my fantasy football league's website. I guess you can call it my escape or creative outlet. Still, to you my loyal readers, I owe you a quick recap of the last month and a half. So, in my final post here is what's happened:

Batgirl has done her best to try to get in with my friends and their significant others. She gave it a real honest try, but the first time I saw just how cold you broads can be to one another. It's a damn shame because Batgirl is such a kind, caring woman. The shitty thing is she won't let me call those reponsibile out onto the carpet. It really puts me in a tough position to keep making up excuses, but there are ways that I will need to come up with that won't be so abrasive in order to open the girls' eyes more. For now, Batgirl is at her wits' end. I don't blame her, but it's very sad and very disappointing for me since I always thought when I met a special girl, she'd be treated well. Yeah, I'll admit that Batgirl hasn't always jumped on chances to spend time with the gang, but the sickening part is when she has made the effort, no one seems to really make her feel welcome. I just hope the day comes when those responsible for making her feel like shit realize their behavior is rude and inconsiderate.
I moved into the parents house, however my name is still on my old house with my brother. With the real estate market not in a rosey state, banks have advised the two of us to stick this out and my brother and his girlfriend pay rent. Batgirl had a real issue with the idea of the brother and I maintaining our "business" relationship since she doesn't trust him, and the fear is that if something were to happen to the house it will affect our future. I admit it concerns me, too, especially since the girlfriend is a major financial liability with over $17K in credit card debts. It had looked like my brother got a good mortgage through Bank of America, however the value of the house is less than we owe on it, and we'd have to pay more out our pockets to get this deal done. I would be walking away, at best, with only half of what I would be getting from the equity we built up. Since I want to eliminate my debt and this is the way to get that to happen, I'm opting to keep my name on the house for a while and keep it between my brother and I, and my parents.

I feel awful keeping this from Batgirl, but the deal is that no matter what, by the time she and I get married, the house is going to have to have my name off it. Things between Batgirl and I have been a bit rocky, however things have been brightening up when I first told her it looked like my brother had a fair mortgage worked out with BOA. It was like a weight lifted off of us and we were heading in the right direction towards a life together. Then, the news came that the deal was too good to be true. I have not figured out how, or if I'll ever, tell her. Thing is, I'm going to keep looking for ways to get the house refinanced and my name off the mortgage. Even if my brother isn't really trying since the monthly payments would obviously increase from what they are now.
Life in the parents' place hasn't been so bad yet after nearly a month. I spend half the week at Batgirl's so I don't feel like I'm in a full house (my 21-year-old sister lives here too, but is usually out or working each night). I don't want to get too comfortable, and a part of me is ashamed I'm back here, but it is a means to an end. It's something I should have done when I first graduated college, and again when I moved back here from New Jersey in 2001.
My 23-year-old cousin married her 30-year-old fiance two weeks ago. Oh, and they have a son who is about 6 months old. I feel old.
Batgirl found some gray hairs on the side of my head, officially showing I'm getting older.
Next weekend Vegas gets married. I never thought I'd see the day, especially when it was jut a couple of years ago when he told me there was no way he was getting marriend any time soon.
You know you're getting old when one of your best friends since high school is doing a fantasy football draft...feeding, changing, and rocking his 2-month-old daughter.

Oh, and his team looks destined to be the worst in the league. Do you think he got a little distracted?

I wish I could have done a better job staying on top of this blog, especially now when my life is really going into a major chapter. Fact is, I just haven't had the same gusto like I did in the beginning of 2005 when I began writing my first blog. That was a fun one.

I also realize it was more fun to write a blog when I was single. There always seemed to be an interesting adventure in trying to find a woman who I could settle into a relationship with. Now that I did, I feel like I need to keep our life more private out of respect to her (she is very private about even the most minor of details).

Where will I be in the coming months, you may ask? Well, I hope to overcome my fear of the unknown and go out to by the engagement ring I've been planning to buy for over a month now. The questions keep coming back though. There have been times when I see how upset Batgirl gets when people in my life make her life get complicated, and I wonder how she hasn't told we can't make this work. Somehow, someway we always find the silver-lining and enjoy each other's companionship through it all. I still would like a little more of my own free time, but I think once the school year starts and she needs her time to deal with correcting tests and reading student essays things will even out. It was not the best of summers for us, but life can't always be peaches and cream.

This won't be the end of blogging for me. I am going to start a blog to document my fantasy football season and have it online by week one of the NFL season. I'm doing it because it won't take long to do a post, won't require frequent writing, and most importantly it will allow some escape for a half-an-hour a day. I know there is a market for the topic, especially this time of year when fellow "owners" look for that edge over the competition. I'm not an expert, just a guy who wants to keep track of his moves, and see what others will think of it.

All this said, thank you all who have shown such a great interest in my life in the last two years or so, and have done nothing but give me kind words of support. Sometimes the criticism was hard to take, but I always knew that between the lines, your words were typed with good intentions. While this may be an end for me on the realm of S0-This is My 30's-dom, it's still the necessary next step to take in my life. None of my friends and family (save one woman who I have lost touch with and feel guilty as all hell I don't speak to frequently anymore, but I still value everything she has been in terms of a friend over the years prior) knew about this blog, and quite frankly I felt guilty not to tell them about it. Especially Batgirl who was so often a topic here.

Like a fad, this blog is over. I'll leave it up for a little while so those of you who want to comment can do so, and believe me your well wishes will be appreciated. Take care all, and I hope we find each other on another corner of the Internet.

That 30's Guy

Streets of Philadelphia & The 4th

2007-07-05T21:55:00.000-04:00

I figure this week is going to be a light one in terms of readership, so I'm kicking back. I did, however, mean to give you a report on my maiden voyage to the "City of Brotherly Love."

Vegas' bachelor party was this weekend. I made a pit stop along the way to meet up for dinner with The Politician and to crash with Gian before he and I continued the ride into Phillie. We met with our crew, hit a Mexican restaurant around the corner from the hotel, then hopped on the subway to Citizen's Bank Ballpark to see the Mets simply throttle the Phillies in their own house. Following the game, we did what any good tourists would do, and that is make the pilgrimage to the famous cheese steak stands in the slums of South Philly, Geno's Steaks and Pat's for dinner.

After freshening up in the hotel, the crew made it's way out to Archful Dodger for brews, The Dog House where Jager-Bombs were being inhaled, followed by the unexpected visit to probably the most asexual strip club I've ever set foot in, Delilah's. What's funny is it was the largest collection of gorgeous topless dancers I've seen since my buddy, the Fed's, bachelor party at Mons Venus in Tampa two years ago. Yeah, I couldn't resist the coaxing from Vegas to get a lap dance, and I'm glad I did. This "Italian bird" knew how to get good wood with grinding action of her backside. Oh, and a reach down to fondle the package helped also.

Here now are my takes on the Philly experience--a place I won't be returning to anytime soon, by the way.

The female talent was a major surprise. Everywhere we went and looked, there was some fine looking ladies crossing my path. New York and Chicago....you've got some competition.
Phillies fans may be the most bitter baseball fans I've seen since White Sox fans before they won the World Series in 2005.
Anyone who says that fantasy baseball takes away from the game needs to attend a game where they have no emotional attachment to the teams playing. I had 3 Mets and 1 Phillie on my squad who played Saturday, and I was glued to the diamond.
Citizen's Bank Ballpark has a lot of cool amenities, but the fact is it looked nothing like Turner Field, which I visited in 2002, and it reminded me a lot of US Cellular Field (formerly Comiskey) on Chicago's South Side. Either way, it's a more comfortable place to catch a game than that rundown bandbox the Red Sox call home.
I feared for my life walking through the 'hoods to get to Geno's from the subway. The ghetto Rocky lived in in Rocky I looked like Beverly Hills compared to these streets.
I've had better cheese and steak sandwiches at D'Angelo sandwich shops in New England than the one I got at Geno's. Simply overrated. I heard from the guys who hit Pat's that it wasn't much better.
Just what is the deal with Delilah's? They have the traditional stage where patrons can sit and gawk at the girls and shove dollar bills into their G's or their fake D's. What was unusual was this center stage that jutted out above the bar, and you could not do anything but admire the dancers from your barstools. What's stranger is the lack of girls walking around to solicit a lap dance. Here we were, a bunch of guys looking to spend cash, but all we could find were these girls in red dresses charing $500.00 for a private dance! What's even stranger: a lot of the "$500 girls" couldn't hold a candle to the girls on stage. The plus side is I spent maybe $40.00 in there tops.
Strange city. You'd be driving in a completely depressing neighborhood, then suddenly see it clean up and go mid-town swanky, then suddenly resemble the Village in New York City. There is no gradual transition.
The smell of urine while we stood on the subway platform almost made me pass out, and after years of travelling in NYC's subways, you'd think I would be used to it.
Has nothing to do with Philly, but during my pit stop near the Jersey Shore, a belief I've always had was justified: New Jersey produces some of the hottest chicks in the country.

As for my 4th of July, the 2007 edition, there isn't much excitement to report. Batgirl hosted her family, and invited my parents and siblings to join. My brother completely blew off the invite, and my sister already had plans with her boyfriend and their group. Our folks seemed to get along great after some initial awkwardness (they've only been around each twice in the 17 months we've been together). It felt like a real family get-together at a home I shared with Batgirl. I grilled the dogs and burgers while our father's walked the grounds looking for work that needs to be done to the landscaping. Conveniently, the party dispersed around 6pm, leaving the rest of the night for she and I to chill out.

No fireworks again this year, but I don't mind. I've lived a lifetime of watching them. Once you've seen the Macy's 4th of July fireworks extravaganza live in the Big Apple, you're pretty much ruined for all other displays. Sorry but the local show sponsored by the small town recreation department can only be a letdown. Give me another showing of Office Space on Comedy Central and some "quality time" between the sheets any day.

Back in the Day

2007-06-27T00:00:00.000-04:00

While driving home from grocery shopping on Monday night. I was pretty stunned to hear the news of WWE wrestler Chris Benoit's death. I became more disturbed when I sat down to watch "Monday Night Raw" on the USA Network for the first time since...well, when another wrestler Eddie Guerrero died young, and found out that not only did Benoit die, but so did his wife and kid. Right away my mind jumped to the conclusion that Benoit killed his family, then himself.

Tuesday that was confirmed by local investigators in Fayetteville, GA.

Early, tragic deaths of pro-wrestlers have become a disturbing trend. These real-life cartoon characters that I grew up watching now seem to be leaving us at an alarming rate, and with their unfortunate and sudden losses comes the reality that I'm all growns up now. I was big into wrestling as far back as when I was in 2nd grade. I remember going to my first live event with my dad, his friend and his friend's son DT who I want on to grow up with. Hulk Hogan faced off against Jesse "The Body" Ventura. Hulk got busted open, and won the match by "disqualification." He concluded the night doing his famous pose-down, which now a days seems pretty gay for a male fan to be hooping and hollering like a chick because a wrestler flashed his guns and his pecs.

In any event, just about my entire circle of friends got into wrestling in the mid to late 1980's and into the late 90's. I dare say it is probably what made us join the high school wrestling team when we were freshman. My interest in it had died down a bit when I got to college, however it was revitalized in Summer 1997 when Hulk Hogan turned "heel" (aka became a bad guy). My senior year of college actually culminated with an attendance to my first ever WCW event to see Monday Nitro just before Senior Week. After graduating and going into the real world to live in a New Jersey studio apartment with no cable, my interest died down again for a few years until "Hollywood" Hogan made his return to the WWF/WWE. Notice a trend here? Yeah, I'm a Hulkamaniac for life...BROTHER!

Anyway, one of my pals sent out a group email with the latest link to the Benoit story Tuesday morning. One of the boys made the observation during the discussion thread that it now seems like "all the guys (wrestlers) we grew up with aren't going to make it". When I think back about it, he may be right. Off the top of my head I can come up with over a dozen more superstar wrestlers from the 80's and 90's who helped build it into the megadollar business that it's become (moment of silence please):

"Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig (one of my all-time favorites)
Rick Rude
Adrian Adonis
Junkyard Dog
Andre The Giant
Hawk (from the Road Warriors/Legion of Doom)
Bam Bam Bigelow
Big Bossman
Miss Elizabeth (first famous chick who made me discover a boner)
British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith
Owen Hart
Big John Studd
Just about anyone with the last name Von Erich

That's a pretty lengthy list, and a lot of them occurred this decade before they hit the age of 50.

Yeah, you could call this lame, but wrestling was a big part of teenage and pre-teen years, with a part of me that tried not to let go in my mid twenties. Now I could care less, except for when those entertainers who were a part of my youth suddenly pass on, and take a part of my childhood with them.

Beginning to Reflect

2007-06-26T00:01:00.000-04:00

A new week begins. The countdown is on for Vegas bachelor party which will be taking place this coming weekend in...Philadelphia.

What city were you expecting?

I'm travelling to the Jersey Shore on Friday to visit with the Politician, and then we are hoping Gian gets out of work earlier than he is presently expecting so the three of us can hang out for the night. Then, the next morning I will travel to the City of Brotherly Love with Gian to meet up with Vegas and the gang to catch Mets and Phillies. This will be my first ever trip to Philadelphia, but unfortunately there will be little tourist action. This will be all about baseball, the boys, and having a good time. To be quite honest, I'm looking forward to have a "guys-only" getaway.

Don't get me wrong; I enjoy the time I spend with Batgirl, but my nights out with the boys locally seems to be getting more and more scarce now with Nern's entry to fatherhood, Ren being a husband and still preferring to spend his weekends out late with this hot wife and living the good life, The Attorney doing what he always has and that is disappear with Kat for the weekends, and Master K in hiding where he lives in NH with his fiance. The times they are a changing.

My brother, his girlfriend, and the rest of my immediate family left for their Mediterranean cruise on Friday. I opted to not go as far back as the day my mom asked me if I wanted to go. #1, I was looking for a new job at the time and didn't know what my vacation time would be if I landed something, and #2 was the amount of money. I was looking at being committed to just under a grand to go somewhere I just have no desire to go: Europe (no offense to my UK readers, I just prefer a cruise in the Caribbean). Not to mention, some of Batgirl's co-workers from the school were going to be on this trip as it was organized by a faculty member my mom is still friendly with. Obviously Batgirl, being such a private person who prefers to keep her personal and professional life separate, was not excited with the opportunity either.

So, here we are, stuck at home watching over Batgirl's black lab who had two fatty cysts removed from her side and neck. Because the neck incision is in a spot where they can't put a cone to keep the dog from reaching it with her hind leg to scratch, we had to watch over the dog like a hawk. Sure I didn't have to, but I felt bad my girlfriend was going to be chained to her house. We took shifts doing our errands, one sitting with dog and the other doing their own thing. It's actually going to be this way through the next two weeks, so thankfully I won't repeat another dull weekend in the house making sure the dog doesn't pop her stitches.

We did have an episode with the neck incision late Saturday night after we finished an awesome steak dinner cooked on the grill. We were getting primed for a long overdue night of sex, when Batgirl noticed blood could see the flap of skin jutting out. Thankfully, there is a 24-hour veterinarian hospital we could go to, but unfortunately it was over 25 minutes away. What a looong ride that was! Obviously the need for the babysitting was made clear by that event.

Oh, and we didn't get to have hot sex until Sunday night.

In any event, having the house to myself got me to start thinking about my time here. I regret how I never pushed myself to put the work into it that my brother has become more motivated to do. I'm not handy by any means, but I should have been smart and forced the issue to get working on the place last summer. However, it was a busy summer with many weekends of weddings and other plans, and I just wanted to have me a good time with my girlfriend on the weekends we could reserve for us. Now, my pleasure seeking summer of '06 will hit me in the wallet due to the fact the house's value isn't what it could have been had we worked through the last several months. I haven't had a summer to really speak of since I was in college, and put that priority in the wrong place. My old job's busy season was every summer, and I often put in late hours each night. The weekends were such a blessing, who wants to spend them doing shit I don't really enjoy or get much out of.

Funny how more things change, the more they stay the same.

I think for another post this week, I'm going to talk about the memories I've stored up in living here the last 4 years. The reality started hitting me when I was at the supermarket about 2 weeks ago. I worked around the outside of the house then drove around the neighborhood Saturday, I really began to start thinking to myself, "Wow. I'm really going to be closing a chapter in my life."

It's a bit scary to be perfectly honest with you. I always hoped that my brother and I would be able to stay put right up until it was time for the other to move in with his future spouse. The option would be to either by the other out, or sell the place outright. In a way that is what we're doing, except I'm going back to my parents because renovations are about to begin and it makes no sense for me to invest my $14K-Plus of equity if the real estate market sucks right now. Even if I was moving in with Batgirl, I'd still be giving up my independence. At least with my parents, the most questioning I will probably get is from my mother and that is whether or not I will be home for dinner on a given night.

So, I'll continue to think of that list that already began to register through my mind over the weekend (believe me, I had a lot of time to think when I was sitting with the dog). Anyone else been through this nostalgic phase when moving out or moving on to live with a love interest?

The Long And Not So Short of It

2007-06-22T00:45:00.000-04:00

To compare the last month to a roller coaster ride would be an understatement. I've never been one who could handle such rides, and if I have a choice I avoid them at all costs. It took a lot of prodding by Batgirl when we went to MGM in Orlando back in April to get on the Aerosmith and the Tower of Terror rides, but for the sake of fun I did them.

Then of course, there are the times we get on the roller coaster when we have no choice but to get on it. Let's start from the beginning

I never gave thought to where my relationship with Batgirl would lead until that November Sunday in her apartment when we got back from looking at the house she would eventually buy. We had spent over 10 months together and her house hunting brought her true feelings to the surface: she was beginning to picture a future, a life, with me. Fast forward to the day she closed on the house, and I remember standing in that big living room with the hardwood floors, looking out into the backyard through the large bay window and the thought hit me: this is the house I'm going to be starting a family in. I don't know what caused it, but it hit my like a ton of bricks.

Fast forward to our brief trip to Florida. While there, we were suckered into one of those timeshare presentations. You know, the ones where you get enticed with 2-for-1 price on a Disney theme park (a $70.00 savings). Somehow, we were sold on it. We saw this as a too-good-to-pass opportunity. This would be something for us, for our future. Then, I did the dumb thing while the salesman was putting together his offer for us: I admitted I had not begun to look at engagement rings. The revelation stuck with her and our final day of mini-vacation was spoiled. MGM wasn't as enjoyable as it could have been as Batgirl dwelled on what I said. Our night back in the hotel was spent with the two of us fighting in the room, wasting our tickets to Paradise Island for that night. The next morning featured the two of us crying.

My sadness was caused by the fact that I hoped the getaway from all of our stresses would allow us the chance to be us again. Since our 1 year anniversary weekend we spent together, it seemed too many influences had taken the fun out of the relationship. It was disheartening to see that my hopes were dashed on this trip. We flew home, and the discussion as to what to do with this timeshare continued on late into the night. It rolled over into Friday, and then Saturday morning. That day, we took advantage of the 10-day grace period that allowed us to cancel. We came back home and I admitted finally that I had doubts about whether she was the woman I could marry no matter how much I loved her. When we parted ways around noon, I was certain our relationship was over.

Only, it wasn't. It seemed to strengthen it. I realized in that whole afternoon I was away from her that I needed to begin to see the big picture. I needed to stop wasting our time and decide if I wanted to get on the same page as this woman who loved me so much that she saw me as her future husband. The thought had crossed my mind, so why was I afraid to act on it? Simply put, I feared I would not be allowed to have any of my life brought into the marriage. I knew that in order for me to be comfortable with this decision, she had to tell me her position on my friends' place in my life. I was being faced with the prospect of losing her, and my God it hurt that day. I felt lost. I decided that it was time to begin taking big steps forward on the path that is my life.

Fast forward to Memorial Day Weekend. It was a very emotional one as finally something gave in. We decided to talk about what my reservations were about getting married to her. I had intentions of talking about it more naturally than we did, but I had grown frustrated with her immaturity on the topic. That Sunday morning, she was just laying in bed, acting depressed, and I lost my patience. We talked, we cried, we laughed, we hugged. I got it out from her that she needs to be willing to allow the relationships I value to have some room in our lives. The fact that I was withholding my firm decision to marry her because I believed she wouldn't allow me to have any time with people outside the family circle opened her eyes to how important my friends are to me. To me, they are like family, like the brothers I don't have (yeah--I have a brother, but we are oil and water, and he's never been one to care about my well-being). She will never know what that is like because she doesn't have such type of relationships. Her best friend is her sister, and her immediate family is her first choice of people to spend her free time with. I felt a lot better about my future with her after that long talk Sunday morning.

Satisfied with the results of our talk that weekend, and hit with the realization that I feel like my home is in this very house where she lives, I decided to put plans in motion for a future together. I went over to my parents' house and sat down with my mother (dad was doing something for the little league) to discuss the offer my parents made about living there for a time rent-free so I could pay of debts and save money from a ring and a wedding. The more I talked with my mother, the more it made sense. I wasn't happy living with my brother anymore, and living with Batgirl before we were even engaged was going against hers and her family's values (actually, her parents will still have an issue with us living together unwed, but Batgirl does not care about that).

So, I made the difficult decision that I will sell my half of the house to my brother, put that money towards paying off my student loans, and move in with my parents until Batgirl and I are engaged and her house is finished being worked on to allow me the room to move my things in. Since the start of June, my brother and I have actually worked out an agreement on how to handle this so that no one gets screwed, although the local real estate market is not very good and there was a good chance I could walk away with only half the amount of equity we presently have in the bank. My good friend, The Attorney, as goofy as he usually is, actually was the one who showed me the way in making this crazy decision to roll the clock back and move home temporarily. He pointed out that our original plan to remodel the house using the equity we took out when we refinanced in Fall'05 would make little sense for me since I didn't plan on staying there much longer, and no sense for my brother because it would increase the value of the house and raise his mortgage when he takes out a new one to buy me out.

Now fast forward to two weekends ago. I saw a side of Batgirl that I never thought I'd see, and hope I never do again. One of my cousins got married a few days after my good friend Nern became a father for the first time. His wife gave birth to a beautiful daughter. I was so happy and anxious to get over to the hospital to see her. Batgirl, on the other hand, turned down the invite because she still feels like a stranger and didn't believe it's our place to be there so soon after the birth. You see, when her niece was born, her sister didn't want anyone but immediate family to visit while she stayed. I decided to just leave it be, take pictures and show them to her another time. I cringed about what the weekend would hold. A birth of a child by a woman closer to her age, plus yet another wedding, all in the same week could take a major toll on Batgirl's "My Time To Have A Family Is Running Out" complex. Boy was I right.

After what had been a surprisingly fun wedding despite the early downpours (it was an outdoor wedding & reception under a huge tent), the night took a turn for the worse. My cousins and sister invited us to join them at their local hangout. My brother, who Batgirl has grown to not trust based on selfish decisions he's made that benefit only him and affect me, and his girlfriend, who has been throwing in Batgirl's face the whole subject of what she is going to do with my house when she moves in, were supposed to come too. We were saying our goodbyes to the family elders when my brother's girlfriend said goodbye to us and then acted surprised when Batgirl revealed we were coming. The way she reacted rubbed Batgirl the wrong way for some reason. I guess when someone annoys you every time you see them, it takes very little to get on your nerves.

We showed up at the bar, but Batgirl was beginning to show signs that I had fed her one too many Gin and Tonics. She was ready to punch out my brother's girlfriend. I knew she was all talk, but the way she began storming through the parking lot had me starting to think otherwise. Thankfully, the two decided not to show up. I sense the tension between the four of us had something to do with it; the brother's girlfriend kisses my parents' asses to no end, and does the same with my younger sister. Batgirl has seen this as much as I, and coupled with the fact this woman has staked claim in a house she doesn't even live in yet, it's hard for us to feel like being around them. So, my drunk sister began to sound off about why she believes they bailed out. The finger was being pointed at my brother's girlfriend. Then came the big hammer.

"I noticed she didn't drink one drink all night at the wedding. I'll bet you she is pregnant!" she said.

All of a sudden I saw Batgirl start chugging down her beer. She began looking upset. She grabbed mine from my hand and began to chug that. My sister, my cousin and her fiance (a different couple, not the newlyweds) and my sister's boyfriend just kind of stopped. Batgirl then put the beer back in my hand and began crying and ran to the ladies' room. My sister, who is 12 years Batgirl's junior and a former student of hers, and my cousin ran after her. They managed to calm her down, and my sister emerged basically giving me an earful about how I need to get my act together and open up my eyes to see this woman loves me and just wants for us to be get moving on having a family. The fact that my brother and his girl of over 6 months are going to move in together in what was my house, and could possibly be having a kid before us just put her over the edge.

Batgirl came out and was settled down. She apologized to everyone. I was a bit embarrassed, but I know there a lot of guys out there whose drunk girlfriend had an emotional outburst while drunk and put them in the same position. I bought Batgirl a Gray Goose and Soda. The girls went off on their own way, and I stayed with the guys. Time passed and Batgirl returned. I wish I hadn't bought her that drink. Within minutes of her return, she had a replay of what happened earlier. I barely said goodbye to my sister's boyfriend so that I could make sure I caught her out in the parking lot. She was really crying, and when we got in the car, she began screaming about how my sister has some nerve to preach to her about life when she has no idea what one is. She kept telling me that she has had it, she has no more to give with the weddings, the baby showers, all revolving around people from my walk of life.

This carried on the whole way home. I just drove, my fists clench around the steering wheel. I let her do the tantrum, with only a few retorts to what she was saying when things were way off-base. I got her home, and finally I grew tired of the whole situation and gathered up my things to walk out. She stopped me when she saw how serious I was about leaving, even though I really didn't want to leave her in the state she was. I thought she had calmed down, and put her bed. I was so disgusted with her behavior that I did not want to lay in the same bed as her. I decided to sleep on the couch in her den. She, however, didn't care for that and the rage became greater. I actually had to wrestle her to keep her from causing more damage to her house and maybe herself (when I was tying to sleep on the den couch, she threw a shoe at her bedroom wall and put a dent in it). Finally, the storm passed, she passed out, and we went on to the next morning.

I wasn't sure how I was going to handle things when the sun came up. Would I break up with her? Should I take into consideration the fact that she obviously has years of anger and frustration that really comes from the time before we met? Would we opt to take some time off from each other just to cool off and think about what we want? Well, apparently Batgirl was so drunk that she had no recollection of what happened after we got home. She literally blacked out. She was horrified when I pointed out what she had done to the wall, that she had gotten a little rough with me, and that the neighbors probably heard some--if not all--the ruckus. I finally, and tearfully, decided that it was time to lay down the law.

I told her that I was disgusted by what I saw, that whatever this rage and bitterness is from needs to be released from her soul, and most importantly, her incessant pressure about getting married is taking away from how special and happy such a decision should be. I accused her of being in competition with someone, probably my brother and his girlfriend, and told her that I wouldn't be jealous if they had a kid and got married before us because they did it the wrong way. I pointed out that since our one year anniversary, we don't seem to have as much fun anymore, and a lot of the relationship angst is caused by her overlooking how special a bond we have and just not appreciating it, wishing for more. I basically told her it is time to back the fuck off. Amazingly, she agreed with me.

So now here we are. You must be wondering why in the world is this guy sticking with this girl? How could he possibly want to marry this loon? Well, for as many faults as my girl has, they are there because she loves me so much. She has been hurt badly in the past and is afraid the same things will happen again. She has battled back from an ugly divorce from a guy she never should have married in the first place, and that insecurity she's had since childhood was only made worse from that experience. Her parents are very guarded people who keep their lives simple with few close friends, and keep their spare time devoted to their kids and the mother's elderly parents. That trait was passed on to my girlfriend more than any of the three kids.

I finally got it drilled into her head now that while I have a good family who really loves Batgirl and wants her to be a part of it, I also have many extended families because of the friendships I've held for over 20+ years. She now understands fully that my longtime pals are also like brothers to me, and there has to be some room for them in my life and small segments of hers. These guys are not like her ex-husband's group, out to be bad influences and enable me to cheat. I also told her I don't expect her to be buddy-buddy with their spouses and significant others, but at least make an effort to be civil and friendly around them. If she can't, then she's going to be left behind all alone when it doesn't need to be that way. Bluntly put to her, no matter what guy you meet, they are always going to have friends, and the ones who don't are the one's whose personality and character should be questioned. The difference is, my friends are growing up, have steady jobs, are starting families, and most of all want to include both of us--not just me-- in their lives still. Hell, my best friend Ren fixed Batgirl's laptop for her this past weekend for nothing; the crazy thing is Batgirl is astonished he's not charging for it. Maybe now she is beginning to learn what close friends are all about.

For those who've hung in there and read this novel, there is a lot more to cover. This is just the outline and in retrospect I think too many of the details were negative. Truth is, these were events that were tough to go through, but seem to have put forth positive results in the end. Our relationship seems to strengthen every time. She even has not busted my ass about when I am supposed to propose. The question is now, when do you think you will be moving in? I have a feeling she may be caving in on her "rule."

I did learn today, however that the appraiser my brother hired valued our house at $8,000 less than what we owe on our mortgage. This means I may end up getting a little over 2/3 of the equity that I'm entitled to that we have in the bank and won't be able to pay off my debts and put a down payment on a wedding ring like I had expected. I was expecting to walk away with $18,000-$20,000 after selling my half of the house, and now it may be $10K at best. I am still going to go forward with moving in with my folks, even though I feel a bit depressed about leaving my old life behind, plus a bit defeated that debt is forcing me to take this alternative.

The summer begins with a bang, and it's only going to get much more interesting as the next month goes by. I plan on being moved into the parents' place by late July, and there could be a ring purchase soon, depending on if I get a better appraisal and can find a store with an affordable payment plan. I only have a slight clue as to what I want, but really, the one thing that matters to me is I know I love Batgirl, home to me is where she is, and the Red Sox can get back to dominating baseball again like they were in April and May.

Start Your Engines....

2007-06-19T22:47:00.001-04:00

Wow. I can't believe it's been nearly one month since I last posted. Funny thing is, so much has occurred in the last month. How could I note? I've made important life decisions, friends and family have had major life events happen, and my mind has been racing at over 100 MPH daily. I welcome the downtime I have after a long day in the office, although now the reinforcements have arrived. The edge has come off somewhat, at least until they move me to manage projects on another side of our company's small business division. Then again, leaving the office each evening is a step into what's become the pressure-cooker part of my life: the personal side.

Being that it is nearly 11pm tonight and I'm fading, the least I could do is let you know I am still kicking, and intended on posting tonight. Unfortunately I got home a bit later than I expected and it cut into my blogging time. What I will say is that over the next month I'm going to make a greater effort to post. It's for a couple of reasons.

One is I want to be able to record and look back on this period in my life. The second is I'll need the release. I know there will be those who won't agree with what I'm doing or thinking, and I'll probably try to withhold the urge to read negative comments. There will be those who are going to offer sincere, positive advice. Either way, I miss the blog and I'm regaining the passion to write. It won't be daily, but it won't be a month between posts either. There's just too much happening.

So, check back in with me Thursday night or Friday morning. I have a lot to cover so I can set the table. I think it will be worth the visit from my 7 loyal readers.

Workloads, Home Improvements, and Heart

2007-05-22T21:33:00.000-04:00

I wish I could update like I used to, but the fact of the matter is that I'm just drained after being on edge at work all day long. Sitting at my desk typing after doing it throughout the day is just not as appealing as it once was. Attribute that to turning 30 and soon to be 31, I guess. The last month has been nothing short of chaotic, with my workload being almost unmanageable. There is light at the end of the tunnel, however.

Last Thursday I trained someone on how to do the same job as me, and her function will be to share in my workload. She's being promoted from within, although I have my doubts about how she'll end up doing in this job. English is her second language, and in a job where you need to be able to convey telecommunications to the everyday small business owner, clear and clever ways of putting things is a must. I hope she does ok, but the promotion seems to me to be a decision made in desperation. The guy who I've known about being moved to my department comes on board in another week, so if I can hang on, I think life will become a little smoother.

Since it seems like I have nothing but negative things to talk about here when it comes to Batgirl and our relationship, I thought I'd convey to the audience the type of girl I have. This past Sunday, I tried my hardest to be a Mr. Fix It and tackle the upstairs toilet in Batgirl's house the one day wouldn't stop running after her brother dropped a deuce in that bathroom. Luckily, it flushed, but the damn toilet kept running. The valve was shut off and had been that way since February. I figured it was about time to TCOB. I went online, printed up some tips on how to fix it. Unfortunately, I saw nothing that provided a clue as to what the problem was.

Frustrated, I called my dad to see if he had any time to swing by and give me a hand. He told me it wouldn't be for another couple of hours, so I went outside to replace one of my headlights. The bulb had burned out after nearly 5 years (pretty good lifespan, eh?). Unlike the ease the owner's manual suggested, it became nearly impossible without a few more tools Batgirl didn't have. I would have to wait for dear old dad. Man did I feel useless.

At about 5:30--more than three-plus hours after I had called, That 30's Dad showed up with my mom being an unexpected guest. While Batgirl and That 30's Mom chit-chatted in the living room, my father and I figured out the whole float system needed to be yanked out. It was going to be a mad dash to the nearest Home Depot before they clsoed. By the time we finished it was just after 7pm. None of us had eaten, but Batgirl didn't have anything quick to prepare. My parents had chicken marinating at home, so they told Batgirl not to worry, she didn't have to cook anything up for them. Batgirl insisted though as she was so grateful for my dad going out of his way and getting the toilet working. She told them she'd bring dinner over to them on Monday night, especially since my dad was getting a minor procedure done on his knee.

Boy did she ever thank them. She whipped up a combo of linquine, shrimp prepared in garlic and oil, mushrooms, and a vodka sauce. In addition, she brought over salad and Italian bread, complete with olive oil and the seasonings for dipping. Of course, yours truly had to drop in after work to have the leftovers. Point is, she didn't have to go so over the top, especially when she had to scramble home after work in order to prep the meal, then drive it over to the parents' place. Plus, she didn't even take out a portion for herself. Because she has such a kind and generous heart, she felt it was the right thing to do. That's one of the traits about her that I so admire.

Super-sized Post

2007-05-16T23:24:00.002-04:00

My long absences from posting has probably dwindled down my readership to 7 loyal readers. I honestly have been trying to get to the computer to post, but once I sit at my desk after 7pm, get caught up on reading my favorite sports, humor and trash sites, it's too damn late to be banging away at a keyboard. I'm gonna try to make up for it tonight, especially since tomorrow (or today, depending on when you read this) is Thursday and everyone knows few bloggers get to read or post anything with the weekend just a day away. Where do I begin...

Lamer Duck. You'll recall from my last post that I have been struggling with my future in regards to living arrangements. Well, this past weekend that feeling strengthened. After spending all of Sunday away from my house, I got home late Sunday night. My brother and his girlfriend had already retired to his bedroom for the night following "The Sopranos." I went to my refrigerator to get a drink, and to my surprise I see on the door...two photos of my brother's girlfriend. One was of the two of them embracing, the other of her raising her arms in some sort of celebratory manner. If I didn't feel like I was being pushed out of the house before, I truly was now.

Let me take inventory. Her shampoo, body wash, deodorant, razor, and toothbrush are in the bathroom. My brother and her did some landscaping in the front yard last weekend without telling me they were going to do that. Early on Sunday, they removed our coats from the closet in the kitchen to put up shelves and make it a pantry without telling me. On the window sill above the kitchen sink is some girly plaque that reads "Home is where your story begins." Now, I have no choice but to have her presence shoved in my face every time I want to stuff my face.

Wow. I suddenly feel like a guest in my own house. How does one, who is expecting to move out in the coming future, go to his own brother and say,"Don't you think your girlfriend is imposing on our living space just a little too much?" For Batgirl's faults when it comes to relating to other women close to her own age, I think she got the right read on my possible future sister-in-law. She noted how quickly this girl stuck her toothbrush in the toothbrush holder after she and my brother began to see each regularly, almost like a soldier claiming victory on foreign soil by staking a flag. If she saw the photos on the fridge of her boyfriend's home, she'd freak. I think I agree with her assessment that this girl is a bit insecure, and agree that this is her way of claiming her stake in my brother's life. Anyone who comes around here is going to know, he has a woman and is off-limits.

As for Batgirl, she never asked if she could leave any of her things here out of respect for my brother (and our roommate who moved out last Spring). She's never tried to stick up pictures she gave me of herself or the two of us anywhere in the house--and even in that she left it up to me to hang them. All I have, and need, is a 5" x 8" photo of us at her friend's wedding on my dresser.

I admit I haven't been around here much on weekends, nor been proactive about home improvements in recent months, but I think this is beginning to push the envelope. Batgirl really needs my assistance with her house, and I am surely putting that ahead of my own place's needs since she's on her own at her home. However, until I'm ready to get engaged, this is where I will live 75% of my days. I think I deserve the consideration.

Inconvenient Wedding. Yesterday, Vegas sent out an informational email to all of his groomsman, pertaining to the schedule for his wedding weekend in Vermont. As I feared, he is scheduling the Friday rehearsal for a very inconvenient 5pm. This all but secures a potential conflict for Batgirl and I. The week before Labor Day weekend (the weekend of the wedding) is when school gets back in session for Batgirl. I question she will be able to take a vacation day so soon. If she can't get that Friday off, I don't see her willing to drive up all that way alone. I am required to be up for rehearsal, so this poses a big problem.

I want my girlfriend to be up there with me, but I don't want to put her through the stress of taking time off so soon for the next school year when this one isn't even over yet, especially for a wedding I know she isn't all that enthused about giving up our holiday weekend for. What I don't get is the ceremony is going to be at 6pm Saturday night, followed immediately by the reception. Why not do the rehearsal the next morning? Now, I have to spend an extra $100+ for a 2nd night in the hotel. I don't know. The more I look at my August, which will be 3 weddings in 4 weeks, I'm beginning to agree with Batgirl: weddings can be nothing but an inconvenient and expensive pain in the ass.

Saturday Night is All Right For...Staying In. The last few weekends, Batgirl and I have had a great time, but it isn't from going out on the town. For Cinco De Mayo, we just drank a few margaritas with a Mexican feast we cooked up. The week before, I made us a half a pitcher of Mojito. Last weekend, we polished off a big bottle of Merlot with steaks we cooked on the grill. Oddly, I've been cool with these types of stay at home Saturday nights. I never was someone who liked to stay in on a Saturday. Of course, that was a time I wasn't trying to keep spending down.

The gain from this, beside savings, is the amount of talking we've done. During the week, we mainly talk on the phone and don't see a lot of each other. The weekends is when we tend to spend our quality time. This past Saturday was a good night as the buzz from the wine got us to talk openly about our past relationships, names we want for our kids, and sex. Oh yeah, and the sex has been great the last two weekends to boot. To follow up our great night, I surprised Batgirl with a Mother's Day bouquet of orange roses (she likes those type flowers) and a card from her dog. She really ate it up.

Still, there remains the specter of the talk we need to have: the one about marriage. I really think I'm beginning to become more at ease about the idea of settling down, however we have a host of things we need to get out on the table. I've been researching what goes into buying a diamond, what I need to know, and what I could potentially be paying. I just can't pinpoint when and how I can put money towards a ring or a wedding. I have loved the peace and passion we've had these last couple of weeks, but there remains that small part of me in constant stress that at any moment, she'll apply pressure on when I'm finally going to make the big proposal. I guess I can liken this next step I have to take to skydiving: you are standing at the open door, looking out into the big, blue sky then the scary drop below. All you have to do is take that first step and everything happens fast.

It's the unknown of how you'll handle that drop that makes it scary the most.

A New Blog On The Horizon? I've been doing some thinking. I love sports, as some of you know, or could tell from some of my comparisons or references. I also love to make my opinions known when it comes to the comings and goings in the sports world. While it's good to get the personal shit off my chest here, an excellent blog a friend of mine writes has got me to thinking I should do a sports blogs. Nothing but sports, and sprinkle in a little sex and pop culture when it's of male interest.

Back in February, my friend Big O wondered why I hadn't got into the blogging craze yet since my takes on sports are usually very entertaining (my friends don't know about this blog, and I like to keep it that way). Ever since, I've been considering the idea and the plan has been picking up some steam. Obviously, some free time will need to open up for maintenance of two blogs, so it's likely I'd keep the updates on an every 2-3 day basis, unless something of note happens that compels me to react. Also, no long posts like the one you've been reading. I just don't have the time or patience. Just thought I'd make it know. Unfortunately, folks, that blog would be for the buds, and those they refer to it, to read only. Not everything needs to be anonymous.

Lame Duck

2007-05-09T00:01:00.000-04:00

I'm a few days overdue on a post, but here goes.

This weekend, I came to a realization that I feel like I am "between homes." What I mean by that is, I don't quite feel like I'm at home in the very house I've owned and lived in for the last 3 1/2 years, and when I'm at Batgirl's place, it's not quite my home either. I mean, none of my things are even there.

I guess this all hit me when I got home Saturday afternoon after spending Friday night and most of that next day with Batgirl. I pulled up to my house, and in the middle of my front yard was a newly planted tree, a bed of flowers along the top edge of the lawn, and new soil with grass seeds spread over some dead spots. My brother and his girlfriend did some landscaping prior to leaving for her place for the night. As pleasantly surprised as I was, I could not help but get the first sense that my days in this house are getting numbered.

My brother and I have owned this house since July of 2003. We bought it because we were paying $800.00 a month on rent for a 2 bedroom just outside of downtown, and this place was selling for a decent price. After some shopping on mortgages, we found that we could swing the house, especially if we rented the third bedroom of our single-floor ranch to someone. Since then, it's proven to be a good investment and at other times, a mistake. When he and I started to see our purse strings getting tight with just the two of us, we brought in a tenant and things seemed to be working out. In fall 2005, after I had been dating the girl from the Midwest all summer, I discovered the plane tickets and mortgage payments were sapping me. We ended up refinancing and using equity to take out extra money for renovations and to pay off our own high-interest debts. That ended up putting me on a right financial path since. Consider it a blessing I had this house. Now, I felt the time was coming for my brother and I to talk about what happens next should I decide to get engaged to Batgirl.

This is the third time he and I have talked about one of us moving out. The first time was when he was with his last serious girlfriend. She lived about 45 minutes away, owned her own place, and had asked the bro to move in with her. He was ready to do it. I really didn't have any options for a roommate to take his place, and my emails out to my whole range of local friends and acquaintances turned up nothing. In the end, they suddenly broke up and his move never happened. The second time was as recent as late January/early February when he was considering a move for his company to another state. Our plans for renovations on our kitchen went on hold since then, but in that time he finally got word he wouldn't be getting the job and he'd be staying here. Now came my turn to bring up the prospects of moving out.

To no surprise, my brother didn't seem the least bit sorry to hear I may be out by the fall. In his eyes, it would be great for him from a business standpoint to have me out of the picture. In my place, his current girlfriend (who is a financial disaster and has only been with him for several months) would move in and pay a little more than half the mortgage--likely to cover a small part of the taxes. If I were to be bought out, I'd only get back $9,000 in profit, which is not nearly going to cover my student loans I still owe. My brother could hang onto the house another 1-2 years and the work he continues to put in could raise the value more in a hopefully better real estate market when he decides to sell. Unfortunately, I wouldn't see the profit.

To the outsider, the right move would be for me to stay on board, but reality is, it wouldn't work. To begin with, Batgirl's mortgage is much more than mine. Secondly, the idea that a girl who owes over $17K in credit card debt is expected to pay me $700 for rent is a bit scary, even if it is my brother's girl. Lastly, Batgirl just would like to see me wash my hands of any legal or financial ties with my brother because he's never exemplified a sincere care for my well-being. If she's going to be marrying me, she fears I'd get screwed, which could also mean she gets affected. My brother and I don't have a warm relationship, and it seems to me that it's gotten even colder and more tense in the last several months. I guess you could say this contributes to my feeling of not being "at home" any longer. Afterall, since my brother and I had this talk, I get asked at least twice a week when am I moving out?

My parents are quite concerned about how my brother is handling it because they see it as him now trying to push me out the door before Batgirl and I have firmly committed ourselves to each other. Plus, they feel he's really jumping the gun on his girlfriend moving in with him. On Sunday, I admitted to my parents how I feel like I'm between homes, and that I still have a jury out on whether I can marry Batgirl. The main hang-up is my concern over whether or not she expects us to live in the bubble where it's me, her, our immediate families, and no one else. This talk is going to happen soon, but until then, I plan on helping renovate the kitchen and the house's exterior as we try to increase the value and my chances of a better profit. We'll then have the house appraised, and whatever the difference is between the mortgage balance and the determined value of the house, I'd get half as a cash buyout. It's the only fair solution we can come up with.

Yeah, it's pretty stressful right now, both professionally and personally. My parents went as far as offering me the extra room in their house, where I could stay there rent-free in order to save up and have money to not only pay loans, but pay for a possible wedding. Batgirl has made it clear, no ring--no move in. I respect that, and can't change her mind, especially knowing her folks would hold that against us. My parents' offer would make sense in that case. Still, to go back in with your parents at 31, after several years of living on your own, to me that's a hard pill to swallow.

Tit-alating Tidbits

2007-05-01T20:29:00.000-04:00

Wow, it felt so good to post the other day that I thought I'd do it again. A few things to comment on today.

First, I just got off the phone with Batgirl, and she got word today that her 6-year-old black lab has a large cyst growing on her side. We discovered the growth this past weekend, and as coincidence would have it, the dog was scheduled to go in for a follow-up appointment today after her booster shot 2 weeks ago. Needless to say, it will require surgery and the cost is an astronomical $800-$1,100. This is clearly money that Batgirl, who owns a house, can't really afford to drop, however it is necessary. She is going to get a 2nd opinion and quote from an animal hospital.

I'm actually a bit shook up to hear this. I know how much the dog means to Batgirl, and I've come to like the dog to. She is so happy and playful. I'm really hoping that this turns out to be benign.

Secondly, you may recall that more than a month ago I told you about how my senior year college roommate, "The Politician," had decided to not attend our friend Vegas' wedding on Labor Day weekend. Well, out of nowhere last night, Politician called me and we spoke for over 2 hours. We hadn't taken time out to have a conversation in a very long time, not counting Super Bowl Sunday when we attended the wake of the father of our friend Gian. Since that day, I learned about his decision to bail on Vegas wedding, even though he was asked to be a groomsman.

Apparently, as part of his job, Politician travels a ton. I never realized how much until last night. As a matter of fact, he's on business about an hour north of where I live and he called because he was hoping we could meet up. For Vegas wedding, Politician is going to have to travel up to Vermont all the way from the Jersey Shore not long after coming home from another business trip. With his wife's friend also getting married the same day, Politician is opting to do that because instead of it taking up 3 or 4 days of his holiday weekend, it will only be that Saturday night where they'd be in a hotel, and be able to drive back an hour so to get home on Sunday morning. Couple that with the fact that Politician and his wife, Mo, don't make a lot of money, I'm now seeing his point as to why he is choosing not to.

Now, I don't approve of bowing out on a friend's wedding, but apparently Vegas hasn't really given him a whole lot of opportunities to hear him out. Knowing Vegas and how immaturely he can react to things, it doesn't surprise me. I did tell Politician I was disappointed that he would not be a part of longtime friend's biggest day, but followed up by saying that he is a grown man with a responsibility to his wife and his own well-being. If they're having a tough time financially, then being a part of a wedding that will require multiple nights in a hotel room, tux rental, gas, and anything else a weekend trip amounts to, I guess I can't blame him.

I want to extend a quick thank you for those who commented on my Saturday post. There was some excellent points, and a couple really hit home. There is no doubt that Batgirl and I need to discuss our stance on some topics that are certainly going to come up in the years that would follow the big party that is a wedding day. We definitely agree on 2-3 kids (I prefer 2, and sense we may be too old by the time we could go for a third), but have not talked about wedding size, where we'd have it, etc. I already can see the wedding party being a big problem. I have a half-a-dozen buddies who are like brothers to me, while the closest women to her in her life are her sister, sister-in-law and then a few others who are in their 50's. How strange a group photo would that be?! It's obvious, we have a ways to go, and I think the next time it comes up I will have to point out that the romanticism is outweighing the important stuff that need to be discussed.

Lastly, ending my post on a positive note, one of my managers was going through customer satisfaction surveys that our customer's fill out upon completion of services, and apparently I was getting nearly 100% satisfaction for feedback. It was quite gratifying to hear since I had never learned about any of the results before, and knowing how much busting my ass is appreciated by the customers is a very good feeling. I only wish my review was right around the corner because I could use a raise right about now. July or August is an awfully long way off.

Don't Call it a Comeback

2007-04-28T10:16:00.000-04:00

My God. My blog has been neglected worse than Britney Spears' kids. Sorry I've been gone so long...a whole month. When I said there would be a slowdown, I didn't count on an absence as long as this.

As you can imagine, I've been pretty stressed out on the job. On average, I'm spending about 10 hours at my desk a day, taking maybe 20-30 minutes for lunch. The good part is my managers know how overwhelmed I am and ended up handing some projects over to my cousin (not sure if anyone recalls he works for the same company as me). It's ironic because they hired me to take the load off of him last July. I'm being told they will promote one of the guys from another department to work beside me, however he won't be officially bumped up until June. I joked that I may be in a mental hospital by then when I was told that.

In my relationship with Batgirl, we've had some rocky times of late. It revolves around our whole future. She is ready to get married, but she doesn't feel like I'm on the same page. The reality is, for months I've made the decision I do want to get married to her. Just not this year. I have debts I want to either pay off or put a serious dent in. The one I've been most focused on is the car loan, and my plan to pay that off this past month was changed when she and I decided to go to Orlando for a 3 days, 3 nights getaway. We both had been put through the wringer at our jobs and felt it would be nice to get away to somewhere warm.

Turned out, that trip was more stressful than anything we were dealing with at our occupations.

We got suckered into one of those timeshare sales presentations, only doing it because it would give us 2 tickets for the price of 1 to MGM. I have to tell ya...Disney has quite the racket going on down there with $70 for one adult. I digress. We sat down and listened to what the guy had to say, and surprisingly, the opportunity was very good and affordable between the two of us. So, we did something out of our character and agreed to purchase a piece of the resort we visited. We thought it was too good to pass up, and with all the discussions we've had in recent months about marriage, I felt comfortable with the move. A part of me, however, anticipated this would cause Batgirl to stress on our final day in town.

I must be a fucking genius, because it did.

I made a comment that I had not even begun to shop for wedding rings. That was a dumb thing to say, but it was the reality, and I said it too casually. That stuck with her all day and long after we got back. Most of the day at MGM, she kept quiet and I could see the wheels turning. I finally demanded she tell me what was up, and right there outside the Tower of Terror that she was convincing me to go on (I hate rides like that where you suddenly drop), we hashed things out.

That evening, as we shared a beer before using tickets to Pleasure Island, the conversation about our future came up again. I could see her getting upset, so I suggested we leave the hotel bar and go back up to our room to talk. We ended up having a real deep conversation that ruined our night, and kept us in the room. We ordered a 6-pack of Coors Light and a pizza. Batgirl went to bed crying, her back to me and not willing to receive my consolatin. I woke up the next day feeling horrible and broke down myself, but this time she calmed me down. We didn't deny we love each other, it's just we need to figure out how we can make things work financially, especially with the purchase of the timeshare. This was last Thursday.

Well, from the time we got back that Thursday night to last Saturday morning, we did nothing but talk about the marriage topic. We decided it would be best to cancel the timeshare purchase (we had 10 days to cancel) so we both could use those payments to pay bills that are more immediate. While the opportunity was great, we felt like it didn't make sense at this very point in time with us not being married and trying to pay off some loans. It did however, get very heated Saturday morning when she got it out of me that I am just not sure whether or not we should get married, money aside. What's my issue? I want to be 100% sure that she doesn't expect our lives to be in bubble, where it's just us and our families and no close friends like my world is now. She claims that's not going to be the case, but I have my doubts and I've made that known.

The trip to Florida was going to be my barometer as to where our relationship was at. I decided that before we left. Based on how things felt while we down there alone, just the two of us, I was going to make a decision on if I'd get the ring in the next month, or continue to see if we really are right for the long haul or not. I believed that the stress in our lives caused by work was the reason why we'd been so on edge lately, and the days away would help things and clear my head. Instead, it made me face the reality of what losing her felt like. And it sucked.

I do love Batgirl, but the pressure I was getting last weekend really broke me down emotionally. Last Saturday afternoon, I thought we were going to break up. I felt like a piece of me was being ripped out. It became obvious to me as the day went on that I don't want a life without her. I decided it was time to move forward like an adult and not be afraid. I am now researching how to get out of the mortgage with my brother, and the type of engagement rings. I'm focused on paying off debt more than ever. I told her that, and we ended up having a good Saturday night together and spent the day doing landscaping work around her house. She even popped in to my house Wednesday night because she missed me...and we hadn't had sex since Sunday morning.

As good as things feel now, I fear the day that comes that will be last Saturday all over again. Quite frankly, I'm not sure how many more days like that I'm going to be able to take.

The Blog-Post Slowdown

2007-03-27T22:04:00.000-04:00

I'm sure these long lags between posts cna be a bit disappointing, but I'm realizing that all this time of being on a computer during the day at work is become draining. I don't mind coming home and leisurely browsing a few fun sites like the ones I have listed to the right in the margin, but having to do things like updating my books in Quicken, or even typing e-mail or a blog entry has become a bit of a drag. I guess you could say the juices are not flowing freely. Not to mention, my back gets so tight now when I get stressed that it's hard to sit in a chair at a desk.

The workload got jacked up suddenly in the last week, and some of the projects are time sensitive. I'm slowly falling back into the state of overwhelment. It amazes me how there's been this talk of me being moved up to a more complex configuration to work on, yet there's been no news of a hiring to take over the load I've had to deal with. Hey--it's now my department to run.

Anyway, that said, I'll try to post when there's interesting topics to touch on, but I don't think I'll ever get into the daily swing of posting like I once was able to do when I started blogging. I've tried to, but just don't have the time or energy.

Since I'm on the board now, I want to thank those who commented on my last post. I'm opting to not say anything to Politician, but the matter really does baffle me. In a surprise, Batgirl saw this whole backing out on the wedding by Politician the same way I do. We agreed that if this was us, we'd just have to go to our friends' respective weddings seperately, especially in the case where one of us was asked to be a part of the wedding party. While I don't think Batgirl is overly enthused about going to Vermont for 3-days with my friends, at least she seems to be accepting of it (so far).

I'm not the only one shocked by Politician's decision, I'm sure. A mutual friend of ours from college, who actually went through high school with Politician, mentioned it to me in an email today. FBI (named so because he is in the, well, you can figure it out) is already making plans to come with his wife, and they live way out West with a young son! Well, whatever.

Beyond the workload regrowth and the buzz over Politician's decision to miss Vegas' wedding, little else is really happening. Spring is arriving and the weather is slowly improving. The time is coming where I need to go make a run by the ocean after work at least every other day, and start getting in shape. Time to get those golf clubs shined and warmed up. I'm also getting an itch to go on a trip with Batgirl.

Because we declined on a June Mediterranean cruise with my family and a group of people from the same school system my mom and Batgirl work in, we'd like to take a shorter, cheaper trip during April vacation. I get at least an email a day about "deals," however it's becoming apparent to me that we got motivated for such an idea a little too late. I'd really love to go hit the Bahamas or Mexico or any Carribean spot for a 4-day getaway, but I just don't have the money for some of the offers I'm seeing right now. Once June hits, who the hell wants to go down there when summer is arriving in the US? Ah well. I never claimed to have the best timing.

Maybe I'll see you tomorrow, and maybe I won't. All depends how late I work, or how busy I am during lunch. Either way, I'll catch up with ya later.

Some Friend

2007-03-22T13:09:00.000-04:00

Just a quick post today as I'm working, and will be doing my fantasy baseball draft tonight (anyone got any sleepers for 2007?).

I got a call late last night from my buddy Vegas. We'd been playing phone tag, until finally he got me. After a few minutes of small talk, he cut right to the chase and hit with some stunning news. As some of my 10 loyal readers may know, he is getting married this summer. It will be this coming Labor Day weekend. Well, apparently our "good" friend from college,"The Politician" (I call him that because he tries to be everyone's friend, and never takes one side of an issue), is going to bypass the wedding to go another wedding with his wife, Mo, on the same day. Needless to say, I was floored.

Politician has been a friend of ours since our freshman year of college. He lived in the same suite and townhouses as Vegas, and was my roommate my senior year. In the years since, Vegas and Politician have forged a real close relationship. Vegas has always been a shoulder for Politician to lean on, whether it was when Mo suddenly broke off their engagement shortly after college, or his mom was dying, or circumstances between he and his wife and her fmaily were putting their wedding in jeopardy. As a matter of fact, Vegas was IN Politician's wedding, even though Vegas was extremely against the ceremony happening (read on to see why).

In the last few years, the hostility toward Politician's wife, Mo, has ceased. She's changed her moods and behavior somewhat (Batgirl actually likes her). While the memory of Mo telling our close friend that his father was not welcome to be part of their special day (which lead to his dying mother boycotting the reception) will never be lost, we've all in some way forgave. The shift of displeasure, ironically, has shifted to The Politician. He rarely keeps in touch anymore. He no-shows for about 85% of the get-togethers we've had over the last 3 or 4 years. Now this.

Sorry folks, but if one of your biggest supporters and closest friends over the years is getting married the same day as your wife's friend, you make the decision to go separately. The events are hundreds of miles apart, so there is no easy compromise. Vegas sounded outraged last night, and I don't blame him one bit. He even went as far to say, "I wish noting but the best for the guy in the rest of his life." What's more alarming is this a full-week after Politician made this announcement.

There was a time where The Politician and I kept in touch once a month, sometimes more. That seems to be over, and my disgust over this development is going to be hard to forget about. I don't blame Mo for this in the least. This is on The Politician because it's been his track record lately. You step up to the plate when a friend has a big day like this in his life. You don't let something like your wife's friend's wedding get in the way. I think any sane woman would probably be understanding if you said,"Sorry, Hon, but I want to be there for my friend."

I'm not sure if I should speak up, but I certainly am hoping The Politician will come to his senses and change his mind. Unfortunately, a part me is saying to not hold my breath.

20 Grand!

2007-03-19T21:26:00.000-04:00

Over 20,000 hits since this blog got online in June. Not too shabby. Too bad a quarter of it is guys looking for pictures of ESPN Radio's Amy Lawrence, and lately, "How I Met Your Mother's" Cobie Smulder.

Looks like I just picked up another 100 hits.

My weekend wasn't super eventful. St Patrick's Day wasn't the all-day drinkfest it had been in year's past. Batgirl was at my cousin's bridal shower until about 2pm, and by the time I got to her place we had to head to her folks for dinner. We finally made it out to a bar at 10pm, and that was not all it was cracked up to be as the popular downtown Irish bar were went to was jam-packed.

We did have a good Sunday, complete with some post-breakfast sex, me finding a great deal on a Ping 5-iron, followed by a margarita and Mexican food late lunch. Although it was not without the typical deep talk while intoxicated. It's funny--some days I think Batgirl forgets about that talk we had a couple of weeks ago when we realized that she's not as ready to be married to me as she thought. Then, when we get into it more, she says,"Well--maybe we shouldn't get married. Things are good as it is."

Hey, I'm in no hurry. I need to get my debt down, figure out how to get the value up on my house before my brother and I decide to put it on the market (I'm getting this impression he wants to be out of here this year, Albany job or not), and finally make the big decision on getting married. Batgirl's biggest concern is that my brother will screw me over, and there is a part of me that concurs. He rarely makes a decision with me in mind (case in point, got a dog last April even though I told him I didn't think it was a good idea), and I can see her point that what he does indirectly affects her since it affects me and my finances.

With all the spicy food and tangy margaritas I drank, my stomach wasn't reacting too kindly. Funny part was Batgirl thought my upset stomach came as a result of our conversation. Oddly, none of our discussion rattled me. Just got me to focus that I'm with a woman who loves me, and no matter how much she attempts to deny it, would like to start a family with me.

Gotta go. My Alma mater's women's basketball team is about to make history, and then I've got to cram for my fantasy baseball draft happening later this week.

2007 is the Year of the Unlucky Irishman

2007-03-15T19:59:00.000-04:00

So we're approaching one of my favorite "holidays" of the year...St. Patrick's Day.

I was psyched months ago when I saw that St. Patty's was going to be on a Saturday. However, my enthusiasm has changed to depression. First, Batgirl was invited to my cousin's bridal shower, which for some un-Godly reason is on...St. Patrick's Day. Of all the days between now and the wedding in June, they had to pick March 17?

Despite my pleas to RSVP "No," Batgirl felt bad if she didn't make this event since she missed the baby shower for another of my cousins. The reason, though, was a good one: Batgirl's niece had her baptism that Sunday, and Batgirl is the godmother. In any event, Batgirl felt obligated to go the shower, even though it's coinciding with the start time of the most famous St. Patrick's Day Parade in the state.

To make matters worse, the weather has it's own ideas. There is a winter storm watch starting tomorrow that will carry into Saturday. We're looking at a mix bag of rain, sleet and snow for tomorrow, and rain into midday on...St. Patrick's Day!

Needless to say, even if I opted to make the 35-40 minute drive down to see the parade, it's going to be cold, wet, and really uncomfortable. Plus, Batgirl is going to have to miss out while she watches my cousin open gifts, and the popular belief is there will be NO ALCOHOL served. Then we're going to have to figure out how we meet up to enjoy the rest of the day together. I feel bad going out on my own for half the day while she is stuck with my family, but at the same time, why should I sit around knowing that thousands are miles away having a blast?

Ah well. Looks like I'm going to have to start trying to figure out other options to celebrate my heritage. Just sucks when you gotta change things up and don't know which way to go. Maybe for once there will be some luck o' the Irish and I'll find something fun to do that's new. Lord knows, I'm not getting too lucky with my NCAA picks so far.

As of this writing, I've lost Old Dominion and Oral Roberts as my one-round upsets, and for some unknown reason I took George Washington into my Sweet 16. My other long shot going to the field of 16 is Illinois, I have Duke (who is in a struggle with Virginia Commonwealth as I type) going a couple of rounds, and Notre Dame going to the Elite 8. My Final Four is UCLA, Florida, UNC and Texas A & M. Merging from that group to go to the finals is UCLA losing to UNC. What's funny is I haven't seen a second or a highlight of an A & M or UCLA game this season!

Let's hope my pool submissions are a lot luckier than my St. Patrick's Day will be.

100th Post!

2007-03-12T20:22:00.000-04:00

I've hit a blog landmark. Well, at least for this version of my blog.

I've hit the 100th post. What, you may ask, will I do to commemorate it? Nothing but a regular post. I hit a 100th post way back in 2005 when I had my first blog, so this time around isn't a big deal. Quite frankly, I should have hit #100 months ago, but I just haven't been able to write anything with the frequency I once had. I'm either too busy to post, or just want to keep of the computer after working on one all day. It's been 5 days since I last had anything to say, so here goes. Pick and choose whichever topic title tickles your fancy.

Sudden Slowdown

No sooner after I said my job was breaking me down and driving me nuts because I was overloaded, I suddenly find myself too caught up. Projects have come to a crawl, and I actually found myself surfing the net leisurely today. It's a bad omen, because I know any day now I'm going to hit some series or crisises that will make we want to jump of the roof. Shit, the thrill of my day was making the hottest girl in my office crack up laughing over a sort about when I got pulled over by Eugene Tackleberry wannabe two years ago.

That reminds me...a few weeks ago one of my buddies in the building was telling me she took him aside and asked him if he had heard this rumor about her having an affair with a married man. We both found this amusing because the day before this happened, he mentioned to me that one of the guys in our shipping department stumbled upon her and the biggest male whore in my office getting cozy in a booth one night. Then, he saw them leave together. Guess the rumor got out the wrong way. Still, if I didn't have Batgirl, I would have pursued her.

My Mom Likes to Party All the Time, Party All the Time, Party All the Ti-ime!

My parents through a party for my sister's 21st birthday over the weekend. Sure, it was a few days after the actual event, but they wanted to do the family-party thing. My to my horror, I watched my mom get toasted to the point she passed out on the couch in the den before Batgirl and I left. That was quite the site to see on the way out the front door. Needless to say, Mother 30's Guy had a long Sunday.

As for my sister, she got pretty crocked too, however her buzz got killed by my 17 year old cousin. Apparently my sister saw my cousin's boyfriend slamming the hood of her car when she was driving around the other day. My sister, who's sort of like an older sister to my cousin, pulled over to make sure our cousin was safe. Following the incident, my sister reported what she saw to my uncle out of fear of what this jerkoff could do. My cousin wanted to discuss the matter with my sister. That was a whole scene going on late night up in the kitchen while the rest of us mingled in the game room. With alcohol flowing freely, Saturday was not the night to have such a serious talk. Not to mention, my sister was already upset that nearly all of her fairweather friends showed up (much to my parents' relief since most of the girls are under 21).

March Madness

It's that time again, kids! Bust out your brackets and see if you can pick who the Cinderella "Bracket-Buster" team will be. I was glued to the TV yesterday when I could, even though my school, a mid-major basketball program, choked in its conference tournament last weekend. We're in the NIT at least, though I'm not happy about the 1st round draw. I can assure you I am not the guy to come to since I haven't had a strong showing in a pool for several years. I would, however, like to see you commenters give us all some extra insight into who we should consider banking on to take us into the deep end of the office pool.

Tits and That

Over the last couple of weeks, a couple of actresses have really got me chubbed up: Jennifer Love Hewitt, who's always been a 30's Guy favorite, and a surprise--Hillary Swank. It's amazing to see what happens when an actress opts to get back on the market.

First she was looking smoking hot at the Oscars, and now J LoH is appearing in a new Hanes campaign, showing off her bodacious bombs in the new"All-Over Comfort Bra" commercial. I saw the ad come up while talking on the phone with Batgirl last week, and needless to say I got a bit tongue-tied. Shit, if she was looking for all over comfort for her twin beauties, all she had to do was give me a ring. Batgirl has zero complaints!

As for Miss Swank, she seems to be all over magazine covers and the subject of feature stories a lot lately. Not to mention, she is in a racy new ad for some perfume called Insolence, nearly nude. Nice. I guess the Academy Award winner is out dating again after she divorced that lush, Chad Lowe...

Speaking of pictures being everywhere, this just in (and maybe I'm a little late): Antonella Barba is a prime piece of tail. I know girls, especially at a young age, like to take tons of pictures, but my God, this is ridiculous! Is she modelling, or trying to seduce photographers into a little meet-between-the-sheets? Obviously, the girl and her friends are VERY comfortable with their bodies, and each other's bodies for that matter. In the last two weeks, I've seen more pictures of this girl BY ACCIDENT than anyone in my own family. Still, she wasn't enough to get me to tune into that joke of a show she was on. Now that she's been voted off, I'm dying to see what she'll do next. If she's smart, she'd take advantage of the big bucks offers being thrown her way to do "Girls Gone Wild"-type stuff or a topless spread in Playboy because-honestly-who is going to remember her in two years?

It's Official: We're Getting Old

2007-03-07T19:57:00.000-05:00

Tuesday was a landmark day in the "That 30's Guy" Family. Little Sis is now 21. I guess she's not so little anymore. More like legal.

There is about a 10-year gap between my sister and I (our brother is 3 years my junior), so it's always been hard to really be close. When I see her boozing it up, I still see that little girl with the curls who used to run around the house. I've gotten better in recent years, but it's still an adjustment. I mean, I can still see the photo of me standing behind her, towering over her, in my senior prom tux back in the Spring of 1994. She's probably about 4 feet tall at most then, and not even at double-digits for her age.

Now, she is 21. Sis is a college junior, working towards becoming a teacher. She's just over 5 feet tall, and has turned into an attractive young woman. From the looks of her longtime friends who joined us for a surprise birthday dinner celebration at a top Italian restaurant, they have too. Not to be overlooked, it's my sister's boyfriend of over a year who organized the event. It's taken some getting used to, especially because he is a couple of years older than her, but he's a good guy who still needs to a way to start a career (he's quit two jobs in several months, one of which my brother had landed him).

Possibly feeling older than I was Batgirl. To demonstrate how small of a world this is, my sister and her friends were the first ever class Batgirl taught in my hometown's school system. When she and I first got together, my sister wasn't sure how to handle "Ms." Batgirl in a capacity as her brother's girlfriend. Now, they get along well. I can remember the Sunday night when Batgirl took the time to sit down and critique a paper my sister had to write on her observations of actual classrooms. More recently, Batgirl expressed real concern about my sister's mental state after hosting my mom and others last Friday night. She learned that my sister's been having a tough time over the last month, crying and feeling depressed, calling in sick at work and being late to class because of it. We were both surprised by this news as my sister comes off as someone very independent.

I also felt really bad when I heard this. It was a real eye-opener that I need to make more of an effort to get closer to her. The good thing is, she now can go anywhere without fear her Florida fake ID will be taken away. She can just pull out her real one. Batgirl suggested we both try to reach out to her, maybe give her a younger, fresher ear instead of leaving the burden on my parents. Invite her and/or her boyfriend to join us for different activities. This has always been in the back of my mind as something that needs to be done, but now it's got to be at the forefront.

As a gift, Batgirl and I gave her a $75 gift certificate to a spa. She loved it. In the card, I made sure I wrote that we loved her and are proud of her. I made sure I told her that again when we were going our separate ways after dinner last night (a HUUUGE bill I may add). I guess it's a start.

Let's Wait A While

2007-03-06T00:11:00.001-05:00

I meant to get a post up for Monday, but I returned from my ski trip a bit late on Sunday and was pretty exhausted. New England got hit with a nasty storm that dumped over a foot of snow in the mountains on Friday. Needless to say, some thick snow on the slopes combined with a lot of skiers made it seem like grooming was not in the equation Saturday for the resort. That 30's Guy got the reality check that I'm not in my 20's anymore. I threw in the towel both Saturday and Sunday after 3 hours or so of skiing. In the old days, I probably could have hung in there.

Still, it was good to get away on a guys' weekend, even though the only person who went that I had a close relationship with was my dad. The remainder of the group was all people from my old company I worked for (they family who owns the company invited me, which was really generous of them), and a close friend of my father. There was a lot of catching up, mostly telling them about my current job and the status of the relationship with Batgirl.

The night before I left, Batgirl and I spent the night at her place. We cooked up dinner, and finished off a big bottle of Cabernet while talking afterwards. Somehow along the way the topic about what happened at the basketball game back on Feb 20 came up. That lead to more talk about her needing to understand that I value my friendships, and I'm not about to just turn my back on them. While she says she's not asking me to do that, it certainly has felt like if I did that she wouldn't lose sleep over it. Uh uh. Won't happen, and I made that plainly clear.

My approach this time was to explain that these people whom I've known for over 20 years and more are like family to me. My family looks at my longtime friends as part of the family, and it's vice verse with my friends' families. Batgirl still doesn't quite grasp the concept of that since her life has always been simple. Small family, the five of them and her grandparents, and no one else. She commended me for the ability to be able to talk to anyone, even citing how it was the reason her late aunt thought well of me. Her, however, she prefers the quiet life. This house she worked hard to get is her safe haven, and she's not willing to let strangers in it.

I continued to drill it home that everyone she's been introduced to, and my guy friends, all have had nothing but nice things to say about Batgirl. I went as far as saying I get questioned as to when I'm going to tie the knot with her by these very people. I then went on to say that quite frankly I was getting to the point I didn't care what the wives or girlfriends of my buddies thought because,"you're all a bunch of catty bitches when it comes down to it. As long as you can be civil and at least try to get along, then that's all we guys can ask for."

In any event, we came to the agreement that until she is willing to accept I have close friendships outside the relationship, and she is willing to share her home with me as if it is my own (i.e. let me invite friends over on occasion), we can't get married. I was relieved we agreed on that. I felt the pressure release. I'm not sure if it was the wine talking, but Batgirl even went as far as saying that what we have is so good the way it is. Why should we spoil it with marriage in the near future?

One on one, we do have a great thing, and I'm willing to seperate my life with my friends from the life I have with Batgirl. I talked about this with my father during the trip, and he said that while I make this out to be a real issue, it shouldn't be the deciding factor in whether or not Batgirl is wife-material. My mother likes next to none of my father's friends. He can care less. He just goes and does his thing without her. As long as I'm not making a habit of turning the home I'd share with Batgirl into a weekly boys' club, and make sure she's cool with inviting people over on occasions when I do want to have a gathering, things will work out over time.

"Batgirl is shy; you need to let her get to know everyone at her pace," he told me. He said if I give her more than equal time, she really can't complain when there are the occasions I prefer to take some time for myself. It givers her a chance to do her own thing, too. She actually got a lot accomplished while I was away this weekend and felt good about it, even though she did miss me. I just wish she had a way to cut loose on her two nights of freedom while I was gone.

Friday night, she hosted my mom, my grandmother, my aunt, and some women she works with at the school. Pretty cool of her since my family hasn't had a chance to see the house all moved into, and they all bonded with Batgirl. Saturday night, she cooked dinner for her parents, grandparents, brother and his wife. Not exactly the way That 30's Guy would go about it!

Thursday night's talk certainly helped things for me. Batgirl sounds like she is accepting the fact there will be more weddings this year, more showers, all of which will precede if/when it's our turn. She understands I would like to see us married eventually like she does, but the time is not now. I'm saving money towards a ring, and she's seeing that. In the meantime, she needs to adjust to this new chapter of owning a home, and the approaching reality of sharing living space with a mate again. The big thing I have to do is prove to her I'm not going to be like her ex even though we share the same characteristic of being in a big social circle. I don't intend on living in the infamous "Boys' Town" and hitting strip clubs, womanizing and boozing with the guys, disrespecting her like he did. She'll never admit it, but I think that is the root of this problem she has. Only with time is that fear going to disappear, and I'm willing to wait for that.

A Flashback Photo

2007-03-01T00:01:00.000-05:00

My morning on Wednesday got started with the opening of an email from my old friend Mink. The subject of the email simply read "flash back." It was a copy of a scanned photo of he and I on press row just before we did radio play-by-play for one of our college's mens' basketball games. I vaguely remember his parents taking the shot as they were out for the weekend on a visit. This photo had to be at least 9-10 years old. We looked so young, so thin. I remember evenings like that one fondly. Even though our college is in a mid-major basketball conference (not quite the Big East or ACC, but maybe on a level of the A-10), the atmosphere was exciting and we treated our gigs to call the action as if we were pro's on a network.

Mink and I both were communications majors, and for our entire 4 years at our college we co-hosted a sports talk show on the student-run campus radio station, and called men's basketball action for a few games a season. The highlight of my time doing play-by-play was in the mid-90's when our team was making a run at the NCAA tournament only to fall short and get into the NIT. In fact, this season we actually have a great shot at making it to the NCAA tournament for the first time in over 20 years; we'll find out if they do it this weekend when they play in their conference tournament. But I digress...

The picture brought a smile to my face, then I felt a little bit of sadness. I miss those days. There was so much confidence and hope that I'd make it as a sportscaster on those nights at the fieldhouse. I'd study rosters and stats prior to gameday, then get to press row at courtside to read the sports information department's game notes. We'd be dressed in shirts and ties. We'd rehearse our pregame discussion, agree on the players to key on during the game, and finally it was time to just let it fly. I still have the tapes of some games I did, my best work during my senior year. Alas, almost a decade since graduating college, I'm nowhere near that guy I saw in the picture or will hear on tapes if I play them. I'm so far away from the sports media field, I may as well deny I ever had a goal to be a part of it.

It's a tough business, and I knew that going into college. I ignored the warnings from my parents that I should consider something else. No way, I said, I have the talent to make it. Reality was, I didn't have any connections in the business, and reality hit when I spent my last month or so trying to find work before I graduated. When commencement finally arrived, I was jobless and had no idea what I'd be doing. In the end, I moved to Jersey, did some part-time production work for a sports news gathering company, before finally becoming a suit who worked in NYC on the business side of TV. That road led me to come back home in 2001, and out of the industry all together.

I'm now working in my third industry since graduating college, and it has nothing to do with sports, radio, or television. It 's pretty boring actually. There aren't many days during the week when I'm excited about what the day holds. There is of course the one constant, and that is how much I read up on what's going on in the sports world, and from time to time I love to write about it on my blog...much to the chagrin of some of you. My friends who listen to the schmucks on local sports radio always insist that I would a better host than these clowns, and that opinion has been echoed more than once by the fathers of some of those friends. It's nice to hear, but at this point in my life, pursuing such a dream would not make sense: the paycut would be extreme, I'd likely move a bunch of times, and my voice isn't exactly silky-smooth as compared to the real money-makers.

I'm glad Mink sent me the picture because it captures a moment in my life when I knew what I wanted to do with it. When I look at it, I know what I was thinking. Now, when Batgirl asks me what I plan on doing with my life if I end up deciding this job isn't for me, I give an answer I never believed I would say when I was 20,21-years-old: I don't know.

That is not an answer an adult over 30 say to a potential spouse. I sure do hope I can change it.

A Happy Home, but Feeling the Heat

2007-02-27T00:02:00.000-05:00

Last week busy in a good way, hence the absence from posting anything meaningful. It was a welcome change from prior weeks when what we keeping my busy was the job. Last week, it was personal. That’s a good thing.

Most of my after-work hours were spent helping Batgirl get settled into her new home. After owning it for nearly two months, she finally was determined to get moved in. Taking full advantage of school vacation, she and her family had her out of her old apartment and into her home in four days. They worked like animals. I felt bad that I didn’t take part in the bulk of the moving, but I needed to work and Batgirl insisted I save my vacation time for more recreational activities. Finally, by Friday night, she, her parents and I shared the first official dinner in her new home. She actually got choked up during the toast, and it was really touching. Then, for the first time in 4 ½ years, she was able to have her dog sleep under the same roof (in the place she calls home, not her parents). It obviously was a victorious day in Batgirl’s life, which has had its share of emotional hardship (divorce, unable to keep her dog at her apartment, bad luck dating assholes).

Saturday, she and I used gift certificates for a massage, visited my cousin and her newborn son, then capped the day off with the dinner cruise she bought for a combo anniversary/Valentine’s Day gift. We needed an evening like that one. The view of the city was fantastic, and the food was as good to boot. The evening on the cruise, and a fun Sunday dinner in honor of my brother’s birthday at my parents’ place, brought some peace of my mind to me. You see, I came into the weekend with some turbulence in my mind regarding our relationship.

Here is where no matter how hard I try not to, I'm going to vilify my girlfriend.

In case you missed it, she and I attended a college basketball game early last week. It was a game my best friend, Ren, was going to be at with his wife. They were taking seats from Nern’s two spare season tickets, and sitting with he and his wife. Batgirl and I sat in our seats on the other side of the arena. At halftime, we bumped into the whole gang, and then came the offer: “There some empty seats by us; why don’t you come join us?” I got a big nervous because I wasn’t sure what the right answer would be. Visions of the episode in December where Batgirl didn’t want us to site with my friends came to mind. I disappointed myself and lied.

“We’re going back to sit with Batgirl’s dad, who is up in section 230. We may,” I said.

Her dad was at the game, but we had no intention of going to sit with him. As we parted ways, Ren hollered back and asked where we’d be going for post-game beers, and told him the bar across the street. As we headed to the seats, I mentioned to Batgirl that I knew she didn’t really want to sit with them, and that’s why I lied. A part of me hoped she’d say, I really don’t have a problem with us sitting with them. It didn’t happen though. I knew I was wishing for too much. The funny thing is, we never even went to visit her dad the whole night. Instead, we went back to our seats and watched the end of an exciting game. Needless to say, I felt guilty.

After the game, we did hit the bar, only no one joined us. My guilt got heavier. I wondered if they could tell I was lying for Batgirl. Even though it was late and Nern and his wife are about 6 months pregnant, I felt more disappointment. In the end, it was good they didn’t because Batgirl and I got into a talk about the potential of my brother’s potential move to Albany, which would lead to us having to selling our house. Batgirl was upset because it seemed my future was being dictated by what he’d do. She was feeling frustration that I’m not making a decision that affects us as a couple. She then pulled out her infamous,”We’re obviously in a different place.”

That enraged me, because little had she known, I was strongly considering the marriage decision in the days leading up to that night. I never wanted to fill her in on my thought process out of fear my mind could change. That was occurring as the night went on, mainly because of how I handled the invite to watch the 2nd half with my friends. I explained to her that I’m making financial decisions that will allow me to save money to buy a ring, and afford a wedding, but she needed to be patient. I also told her that my ideal situation should I sell my house would be to move in with her and pay rent, but that has been nixed by her because it would be frowned upon be her parents, and she’d feel more comfortable with a firm commitment to us and our future (that is understandable). By the time our talk ended, she understood where I was coming from.

Near the end of the week, I had a talk with by good friend Vegas, who is getting married at the end of the summer. His wife is going to be approaching 36 when they wed, and he totally sympathizes with the pressure I may be feeling. He met his fiancé when we went to Chicago 3+ years ago. They even had an 8-month break from each other. In the end, the guy who I thought was immature and selfish made the move to propose, and tie the knot fast. While younger than me, Vegas was a voice of reason on this night when he asked me to be in his wedding party.

He pointed out that I probably could have handled introducing her to the type of personalities I hang with here at home a little better. I really did thrust her into the group all at one time. Since I can't change what's done, he suggested I start by telling her how guilty I felt about last week, and then ask her what it is about my friends that makes her uncomfortable. Try not to be confrontational, which I have a habit of doing. Most of all, don't just automatically say yes to weekend invites because I never know, she may have something in store for us.

Sunday night, we did have what I thought would be an awkward moment after dinner. The discussion about my brother's professional future came up, and my grandmother (in her own sweet, but intrusive way) asked me what I would do. I answered honestly we'd sell the house. That's when she followed up with,"So, you'd move in with Batgirl then?" I felt the air rush out of me.

On the way home, Batgirl giggled and I asked what was amusing her. She repeated my grandmother's question. It was nice she got some humor out of it, especially considering how serious our talk became at the bar on Tuesday night. In spite of all the pressure we both are feeling about what happens next, I still believe we can make it all work.

As we said goodnight Sunday, and I left Batgirl in her new house alone for the first time, she commented she looked forward to the day I could stay all the time. Ya know what? I felt a bit sad when I went my seperate way, just like I felt a week ago. Perhaps when I am with her, I do feel like I am at home.

Beaver?

2007-02-23T12:52:00.000-05:00

I've been busy from the time I get up to the time I get home late at night, helping Batgirl get settled into her new home all week long.

I did however chuckle when I read this headline today on Yahoo!:

1st Beaver spotted in NYC in 200 years

That's funny. I could have sworn Britney Spears made an appearance in the Big Apple in the last two months.

Have a great weekend all. I'm sure to be back, blogging as normal next week.

Airing of Grievances

2007-02-20T00:03:00.000-05:00

You could call last Friday, "Festivus Friday." It was an airing of grievances over occurances over the last three months of 2006.

Master K, who I had not spoken to since the day Batgirl closed on her house, was making a surprise visit for the weekend. His fiance, Shep--who has emerged into a sort of "public enemy #1" lately--was in Chicago for the weekend. It was a perfect chance for him to visit his mother, who doesn't get along with Shep, and to see his buddies.

In the late night hours, he, myself, The Attorney and Nern gathered at The Attorney's parents' house (he was housesitting) for a nightcap. I'm not much of a scotch-man, but my three pals indulged in a glass of fine scotch on the rocks. The four of us sat down at the kitchen table at Nern's request. We needed to have a "sit-down" in his opinion.

The point of this conversation was to discuss what had gone down in December when Master K skipped Nern's 30th because Shep was "too sick for him to leave her home." It was an event a good friend would certainly not want to miss, especially after RSVP'ing weeks before that he was going. However, the night of party Master K called to say they both would not be coming, mainly because she didn't want him to go without her. It didn't go over well, especially with those who already had their negative feelings towards Shep. Of course, this compounded some sour feelings that were caused by the same couple blowing off Nern and his wife the very moring the four were heading several hours away to a Big 10 football showdown.

Master K stood by his decision on the night of the 30th, but deeply regretted his classless backing out of the football trip at the last second. The Attorney made it very well known how disgusted he was by it. Nern, in his usual laid-back way, didn't seem all too aggravated by what had happened, but in another sense hr had to be on some level deep down or else he wouldn't have called for this "meeting."

As I sat there and listened to the boys, I wondered how often this conversation had occured between us in 2-on-2 situations. I know I had talked about it with The Attorney, but it also appeared Nern had it with him, and Attorney may have had with with Master K when he visited him the weekend before. I realized I was never angry about what K did, at least not as much as my other two good friends, but I recognized that the last few months had certainly put a huge space in our circle. We've all been consumed by work and other events in our life, and had lost some touch.

Nern then opened the floor to get any other dirty laundry aired out. I opted to not go to the whole "Your girlfriends don't quite make mine feel welcome" route, simply because I think Batgirl could do a better job of opening up herself. I did however decide to clear the air on the infamous joke Nern made about being able to take Batgirl's job when he announced he got a gig to represent the Dept. of Education. I let him know that while he was joking, and I know he was joking, Batgirl didn't take it that way since she's been in the position where a lawyer has threatened her with her job. I then asked him what he would do if the situation ever arose where a parent wanted him to confront her about a "situation" with their child. My longtime pal did not hesitate: "I'd decline the case. Conflict of interest. I couldn't let us end up in that position."

It was nice to hear it. This opened up the floor to my friends about how they felt about Batgirl, and it was heartwarming to hear their accolades. It then went on to a discussion about how we, as longtime pals, need to support our friends' choices of love interests, especially when our own girls get catty about them. I found that recommendation to be quite interesting. We all know at one time or another our girlfriends may not have been held in the highest regard by the guys, but it doesn't take a fool to see that women can be cold bitches to each other. Especially when they first meet. We've seen it with our own. I guess the plan is to try and be positive, and maybe they'll figure out how important it is they try to get along.

I'm not sure how easy the support will be for Master K to marry Shep, especially if she continues to treat Batgirl like trash when they are in each other's presence. No matter what, though, I know this is who he loves, and who he's known he wants to marry as far back as Summer of 2004. I can't change his mind, nor do I want to try. I'll let him recognize what others may be seeing on his own.

The next night, while Batgirl and I were driving back from her cousin's wedding, she asked a wise-ass question about whether Nern had talked about any teacher's whose jobs he was trying to take. I chuckled and said, "Funny you bring that up. We talked about what happened in December while we were together last night."

I told her what he said, and she seemed happy, almost relieved. She actually smiled. I then followed it up with,"You know, my friends are good people. If there weren't I wouldn't be friends with them for over 20 years. They speak very highly of you, too."

I'm not sure what it will take for Batgirl to finally understand my friends' willingness to accept her, but I think revealing Friday night's discussion with the boys was a big step in the right direction.

Overworked, and Looking for Hope

2007-02-16T00:00:00.001-05:00

Looks like the days of being able to update the blog on a daily basis are becoming a thing of the past.

Once upon a time, I had time for me and my interests. Now, I'm consumed by my job. Not in a good way.

The last three weeks have been pretty rough, and events of this week are making me wonder if I got too desperate this summer when I left the hellhole I was in. Now, not only am just as (if not more) overwhelmed as I was at this time a year ago, but it doesn't help that I am in a new industry and have had to endure my lessons through trial by fire. My lunch breaks have been non-existant; Thursday I ate my first piece of food around 8pm. Before that, my breakfast was a cup of coffee at Batgirl's apartment around 7am. I've stayed at the office past 6pm for 5 straight days, causing myself to be very late for Valentine's Day dinner at Batgirl's.

I suppose I need to speak up to my boss, who doesn't work at my office and see my frustration daily. My pride stands in my way because, I'm basically admitting I can't hack it. 7 months is not enough time to make an evaluation of whether or not a company is not the right fit for me, especially considering it didn't feel like this a month or so ago. Still, I can think back to different occasions when people would ask if I like the job, and my answer from the heart to them was,"Well, I won't say I love it."

I'm beginning to think subconciously I was keeping myself from admitting I jumped too quickly at the first opportunity I got. That's not to say this company is a bad one to work for, but I think that as it has grown substantially over the last few years, it's lost that small-company feel to it and people aren't having as much enjoyment. It is now a viable national enterprise, and the pressures to maintain it may be taking away from the very things that helped make it grow. I don't know that for sure since I'm a short-timer, but since my cousin has been there for about 5 years, I've heard enough to give me reason to believe it's gotten too big for its britches. I'm now in the same boat he was in before they hired me: struggling to keep sane, and carrying a heavy workload. Difference here is he knows his shit, and I'm just scratching the surface.

Friday afternoon can't come soon enough, and I certainly hope I figure out a way to get a handle next week. I really would like to get on a career path instead of jumping to new jobs and industries every 3-4 years like I have since graduating college. I really hoped this stop would be the first step in the right direction, but as I begin to see work creeping into the corners of my personal life, I can't help but wonder if I took a step and it was off the edge of a cliff.

Oh--and Valentine's Day was nice. Batgirl was very understanding since she was well aware of the stress I've been enduring. We exchanged small gifts (she loved the scrapbook, which I started with some ticket stubs and recipes for meals I've cooked for us), and baked our own huge pizza we prepared together. We've now seen each other every day over the last week, and it's been nice. In one year, the most we would see each other on consecutive days on average would normally be 3 days, centered around a weekend. I always wondered if that would weigh on us, but it's good to see it hasn't. In a long stretch where little has seemed to go right, at least the one constant is how at ease and happy Batgirl makes me feel.

My Stomach is Turning...

2007-02-12T00:08:00.000-05:00

After three straight days of long hours in the office that followed two days of driving for 13 hours, I spend my weekend with a weak stomach. No, it had nothing to do with the drama surrounding Anna Nicole Smith's death.

Very late Thursday night/very early Friday morning, I woke with chills, body ache, and a bad case of the runs. That was pretty much my night. By dawn, I had developed a fever and there was just no way I was going to be a trooper and make it to the office. Talk about a bummer. I was so looking forward to having a clear mind on Friday at 5pm. Instead, I was curled up on a sofa wrapped in a bathrobe, a blanket, and the heat jacked up to 72 degrees in the house. Batgirl did me a favor by going on a shopping spree and picking me up cans of ginger ale, chicken soup, Vitamin Water and Gatorade.

Miraculously, my fever broke by Saturday morning and I had my energy back. My stomach was still quite uneasy, and Batgirl preferred I sit out painting for the afternoon in favor of rest so we could spend the evening together. I was glad because it gave me a chance to attempt to buy her Valentine's Day gift, which I had intended to be a jewelry box (she REALLY needs one). With my stomach on shaky ground, I went to about three four different stores and none were selling them. What the fuck it that all about?! Apparently Christmas time is the only time of year people need jewelry boxes?!

By Sunday, I thought I was 100%. I ate normally at breakfast, did some work for a couple of hours at Batgirl's house, then we had to go to my folks' for a birthday dinner in honor of two of my aunts. I had trouble eating, and I felt like I began to burn up again. I got lethargic, and as of right now my stomach is feeling like it did just before I hit the sheets Thursday night. Is there some kind of bug going around?

Well, timing couldn't be worse as I am too busy at work to be sick, plus Valentine's Day is in two days and I need to get together Batgirl's gift (I'm opting for a scrapbook I saw in one of the stores she likes to shop at, since she wants to put one together). In between, I told her I'd help her do some top-to-bottom cleaning in her house before she finally moves in next week during vacation. Why the hell is there a Valentine's Day? In the middle of the week on my least favorite day of the week, no less.

Ah yeah. Thank God it's Monday. An even better reason to feel sick to your stomach, eh?

A Crazy, Wearying Stretch

2007-02-09T00:19:00.000-05:00

Finally, I have a moment to sit down and update my blog. It seems like ages since I've posted anything remotely significant. Tonight, while it's a little later than I'd like it to be since I worked a near-11 hour day, I have some "oomph" to post.

I've gotten a kick out of some of the comments in the last week or so. The predictions of a marriage proposal and co-habitation with Batgirl were amusing. Alas, those decisions have not been made. Yet. Quitting the job is not in cards either as I have little room to gamble with finances. Thank God it's tax time. I could use a nice, fat return right about now.

Last week was one of the most draining I've ever had. I was coming off the great 1st anniversary weekend with Batgirl, when we had a little bit of a tiff a couple nights later. She was having a stressful first couple of days to begin her week, and things sort of boiled over last Tuesday night. We were having a fun conversation, when suddenly she got bitchy with me because I was talking about going on a ski trip with my dad and people from my last company I worked for, and how it interferes with the conference basketball tournament my college is playing in the same weekend. I have no clue why she went off, except that it made her feel like I'm prioritizing different things in my life, and I don't appear to be considering our future together...or something like that. I guess this was all amplified by something her brother-in-law did over that weekend, when he went to visit a friend of his on a Friday night in another state and ended up staying over, leaving his wife and infant daughter alone.

For the first time in the year we'd been together, I began to see that Batgirl was growing impatient about the marriage issue. Afterall, she's bought a house, one she envisions us living in as a married couple (and to an extent I can too). She's going to be 34 this summer, to boot. I didn't want to run away from the issue and I made sure I went over to her place the next night for a face to face talk.

It was a good talk. Not every card was put out on the table, but some of them. I've come to realize that there is a big part of me who wants to pop the question. I'm very happy with Batgirl, but then there are moments like last Tuesday night when the whole friends-thing comes up (or "Boys' Town" as her family calls it, when a guy puts a good time with his buddies ahead of responsibility and loved ones) and we don't see eye to eye. I then have my doubts I can live a life like this, one that is also for another. The revealing thing is I'm now starting to find out this is the same bullshit my friends go through behind the scenes. I never knew it before, and feel a bit relieved in a way.

An example is my old roommate had this "Boys' Town" issue with his girl until they moved in together last Spring. Now, they are engaged, and because they see each other daily, the occasion of doing things seperately every now and then isn't the big deal. it once was. The difference here, though, is Batgirl has already told me we can't live together unless we are married. I respect that, but I know the underlying reason for that isn't 100% her principles; it's her parents'.

To add to the struggle, I really can't afford a ring, and I have to become a more financially responsible person before I even think about becoming a husband and father. The cure for the finances could come if my brother does get moved to another state for his job.

That was another big bit of news from last week that really distracted me. He told me he's 99% sure this move will happen. If we can sell the house at the price it's worth, we could pocket about $30,000 each. That would pay off all of my student loans and other debt, with money left over. Of course, the other question would be where do I live. That, and how much we end up selling the house for is what makes the proposition of my brother moving out so scary. I can't afford the house alone, and I don't want to rent the rooms out to strangers. I'd also hate to give the place away and want fair value. Now is not a great time to sell.

Then there is work. On average, I'm working 10 hours a day, with maybe 20-30 minute break for lunch. Of course, that is if you consider eating while you work casually as lunch. As fast as my company has been growing, they seem to keep trying to do less with more on the service side (which I'm a part of). My project workload is ridiculous, and it's finally caught the attention of members of management. I'm not holding my breath, but it would be nice to see a hire to help me...and a little bump in pay wouldn't hurt either.

I wanted to elaborate so much more on events ch from the last week, but who the hell has time to read it all? If only I had been updating nightly. I'm thankful another hard week in the office is drawing to a close, however the weekend is going to be all about the finishing touches to Batgirl's house so she can finally move in during February vacation. Work never stops.

Too Busy to Blog

2007-02-06T00:08:00.000-05:00

Yeah I read all the speculation in the comments from my last post. Not quite what y'all think. No ring is in the works. Relax. Once again, it's a late night and I couldn't get to a computer sooner. Life's been going as fast as Kevin Federline's in the Nationwide Insurance Super Bowl video. I absolutely need to go to bed so this post is going to be another teaser-type. I just spent over 12 hours in a car over the last 36 hours, so you can understand why I need ot hit the sack. Here's what's happened over the last several days:

- Batgirl and I had the official start of "The Talk." Let's say my mind is beginning to work in a way I wasn't anticipating when we headed into our first anniversary.
- I learned I will likely need to sell my house in the coming weeks because my brother, who lives in and owns the property with me, may be moving three states away due to his job.
- The job is fucking dranining me of much motivation to work on a computer when I come home at night...late at night.
- My close friend Gian lost his father suddenly at the end of last week, and I attended the funeral today...several hours away. I just got back.

Tuesday night won't quite bring you an in-depth post as Batgirl and I have tickets to a college basketball game and I probably won't be home until this time again. I know, I know; I'm being a bad blogger. What's a guy to do when free time is coming to him with scarcity?

Feeling Like A Beaten Man

2007-02-01T22:14:00.000-05:00

Looks like a pretty lost week of posting. The job's been sapping me of energy, putting in 9-10 hour days with maybe 20 minutes to a half an hour for lunch somewhere in there. It doesn't stop in the office as there's some stressful events going on in the personal life too. Let's just say that I think the next day to a week is going to set the table for the next chapter of my life. Stay tuned...

Anniversary Hangover

2007-01-29T00:36:00.000-05:00

Damn. My recovery time after a night of drinking just isn't what it was a few years ago.

Batgirl and I had a great anniversary celebration. The inn we stayed at was perfect. The room was everything I had hoped for, complete with the fireplace and jacuzzi. Unfortunately, I forgot what happens when you mix an espresso martini, a little champagne, some wine, and two margeritas with a hot tub. Talk about intensified intoxication! Sunday was one long nap.

I'm a bit sad that the evening was over in a flash. However, we've got another amazing night out in the future: Batgirl surprised me with an anniversary gift of her own, a dinner cruise for two in Boston. I always wanted to do something like that.

Now, it's back to reality. Monday is upon us, and I am swamped with work. Friday can't come soon enough...

Tale of Two Anniversaries

2007-01-26T00:13:00.000-05:00

I've wanted to post at least one extra time this week, but the continuously busy schedule has not allowed. Batgirl and I had a college basketball game to attend one night, then I worked late the last couple night. Combine that with working on my 1-year anniversary present to Batgirl, and the blog hits the last rung of the priority ladder.

Imagine that. One year. Me, with someone this long had never been thought to be possible, in my opinion. With an average relationship lifespan of 3 months before Batgirl came into my life, I began to wonder what I was doing wrong. I guess now I got something (and the someone) right.

The gift I've worked so hard on is what I did for her for the 6-month, but I never was able to get the slide show of our photos quite right. She liked what she saw, but I could never figure out how to get the music onto the same CD as the Powerpoint presentation. All the while, she'd ask when she would ever get the slide show. Well, with a few more pictures, I got it all figured out. I even made a CD case cover to go with it. Now I am computer fatigued.

Before I call it a weekend, I wanted to point out what today and tomorrow means to me. Today is the first anniversary of my grandmother's passing. It occured sometime in the very early AM hours, before I was even awake. For as sad a reflection as today is, tomorrow will be at the opposite end. Tomorrow marks one year since Batgirl and I went on our first date.

I sometimes wonder what my grandmother would think of Batgirl. I'm sad she never got to meet her. It's funny that months before she left us, she consoled and assured me I'd meet the right girl after I was dumped by the Midwest Girl. It's ironic that the day after she died, I somehow found it in me to go on the date with Batgirl, have a blast, and the rest is history. You sometimes wonder if someone really is watching over us.

So, to commemorate this milestone, I booked us a night at an inn in a shore town about an hour-plus from where we live. We'll be away from it all. I told her we should just shut off our cell phones and forget the shitty week we had at our jobs, the demands of friends and family (well, her family), and make the 24 hours about us. Our room will have a whirlpool bathtub, a gas fireplace, a view of the water, and we have dinner reservations at a nearby Italian restaurant. While I didn't want to put myself out financially, I looked at my budget and figured out I could swing the occasion if I found the right deal--and I did. All it takes is a little effort and internet savvy.

I already know she's got something cooked up for me, and it has to do with Feb 24. There's a gift that I think has to do with that date, and it's was delivered to her today. I haven't been able to figure it out, and amazingly she hasn't caved in and told me. I thought it was Red Sox Spring Training, but there are no games that day, plus she would have asked me to block more than one day out of my schedule. As much as I don't want her spending money, I'm touched she is willing to go the extra mile.

I'm excited about our little brief getaway. Of course, not to be lost in all this is how grateful I am that I've spent this last year with this woman. I only wish one other special woman from my life would have had the chance to know her.

Testosterone Tuesday: Patriots, Playoffs, & Porn

2007-01-23T00:03:00.000-05:00

A great day of football on Sunday was had by all.

Except if you're a Saints fan, and ESPECIALLY if you are one of football's most spoiled--a Patriots fan.

As a native New Englander who still has many friends and family who are homers and root for this decade's "dynasty," I can finally understand how annoying us Red Sox fans must have sounded after winning the 2004 World Series after the week. After the years of barbs from Patriot fans, I've made the startling discovery that these same people truly do behave like the very thing they despise during baseball season: a Yankee fan.

If you don't know what I mean, then I'll explain it. Arrogant, like when this past weekend's AFC Championship game against the Colts was set , the Patriot fan started making arrangements to Miami for Super Bowl XLI. Cocky, like when the playoffs begin the Pats fan starts talking matter-of-factly about who they expect to face in the Super Bowl, like it's a given their team will be playing there. Spoiled, like assuming when each season starts that the AFC East will be a cakewalk, and an AFC Championship game is a permanent part of the yearly schedule.

This season, Patriots fan, Peyton Manning and the Colts had different plans for you, just like our mutually beloved Red Sox had for the same type of nemesis Yankees in 2004. These Colts had that something it took to come back from adversity and get over the hump, reminiscient of our 2004 Sawx's 3-0 deficit going into Game 4 of the ALCS vs. the Yank-me's. Yesterday, trailing by 18 going into the closing minutes of the 1st half, the much-maligned Manning lead his team on two impressive scoring drives to cut down the lead to 8, then came back again to tie it. Imagine, his coach Tony Dungy was out-coaching the "legendary" Bill Belichick, the "God of the Salary-Cap Football Era," just like Terry Francona did to the "legendary" Joe Torre in 2004.

Yes, Patriots fan. YOU got the taste of the same thing those damn Yankee fans had in 2004. I hope you remember it in 2007 before you begin to decry that Tom Brady is going to lead the league in passing yards and TD's, the AFC East will be a joke, and you start looking for your tailgate spot at Gillette Stadium for the AFC Championship Game before even one September kickoff. Then, remember how much you hate hearing Yankee fan write off our Sox before one opening pitch, before one David Ortiz game-winning homer.

Sickening isn't it?

Gotcha.

So now that we are down to the final two teams in the NFL, let's see how I fared in my pre-season football picks for the AFC & NFC: I picked the Saints and Jets to finish last, my Giants to win the NFC East and get to the Super Bowl, the Chargers to be in 3rd, but at least I got the Colts to be in the Super Bowl.
Speaking of my Giants: bravo to getting rid of defensive coordinator Tim Lewis, who never should have been hired in the first place. Thumbs down to hiring Kevin Gilbride as the offensive coordinator, and for not hiring Jim Mora Jr to be the new DC. I'm hopeful Monday's hiring of Eagles' LB coach Steve Spagnuolo is a step in the right direction.
I'm not ashamed to admit that when I can't sleep on a Sunday night (which is often), I flip on Skinemax to see such quality programs as Hotel Erotica and Best Sex Ever. Last night, I was introduced to one of the hottest, and nautral, porn star beauties I've ever seen: Monique Alexander. She's almost 25, has no tatoos or boob job, and has that girl-next-door innocent look about her. While this episode of Best Sex Ever: "Boy Toy" was from 2003, I'm anxious to see if Monique has kept true to her craft.
Will someone tell that tub Rosie O'Donnell to keep her big trap shut? After winning her too-public war in the media with Donald Trump (at least in most's, except my, opinion), she's now going after Paula Abdul because she clearly appeared bombed in recent media appearances and American Idol. Life was so much quieter when O.D. was on the D.L.
I guess when you have more team arrests than wins, it explains why the Bengals finished a very disappointing 8-8 in 2006.
Switching gears to people with class, it's great to see Tony Dungy, Lovie Smith, Peyton Manning, Marvin Harrison succeeding and getting their chance at glory. In a sportsworld filled with too many Terrell Owens's, the NBA's Ricky Davis's & Steven Jackson's, and Boston College's Sean Williams's, it's refreshing to see.
Guilty Pleasure Admission #2: I'm loving the resurgence of the 1985 Chicago Bears' "Super Bowl Shuffle."
I'm still trying to figure out if the Keeley Hazell sex video is hot, or just plain blah. There is just way too much of her boyfriend's ass, and not enough of her bodacious breasts bouncing around.
More Kudos to the NFL for giving head-coaching opportunities to African-Americans. The Pittsburgh Steelers gave an unknown assistant coach named Mike Tomlin a chance to carry the torch lit by Bill Cowher, and Chuck Noll before him. I wish him much success.
The same can't be said about 1-A NCAA football, which has just 7 out of 110 coaching jobs going to a minority. If the absence of a playoff system wasn't enough evidence of how crooked college football is, just look at the stat I gave you there.
Memo to Michael Vick: if you thought your job security was shaky after this past season, you really are fucked going into next season. Can Atlanta Falcon-fan say, "Matt Shaub?"
I was never impressed by Mena Suvari, even after her memorable bed-of-roses scene in American Beauty. These recent topless photos of Mena at the beach do even less for me.

Give me Monique Alexander any day of the week, including Sunday.

To Close Out The Week

2007-01-18T23:12:00.001-05:00

I don't know what it is but I've been pretty beat this whole week. Maybe it was the roller-coaster of the start to this week with the baptism of Batgirl's neice, followed by a lot of drinking, then the wake and funeral. It could be the constant pressure at work to stay on top of my projects, or maybe I'm just in desperate need of exercise to get the blood flow better. Since I'm winding down with the week, I won't be getting into much in this post. Just a couple of things on my mind.

First, a week from Saturday Batgirl and I will celebrate our one-year anniversary. Now, in past months, readers have been disgusted with our tendency to "celebrate" anniversaries. This one, however, is important. I've NEVER spent this much time with someone before, and the personal record was broken, as a matter of fact, after the first 5 months. We haven't talked much about the fact our first year is coming to a close next weekend. I'm sure it's been in the back of her mind, as it has mine. I'd like to do something special, but I have a problem: money. The recent repair on my car and the spending on Christmas gifts has left me very concerned about my finances.

A couple of ideas are, going to a couple of ocean-side towns about an hour away and staying in a local inn/bed & breakfast. We both love the ocean, and since it's not tourist season, it could be very private. My other idea is hitting a top-notch restaurant downtown. I think the getaway idea works best, but again, money has me a bit on edge right now and the last thing she'd want me to do is put myself really in debt. Any of you have good ideas you've done for milestones with a significant other?

The other thought at the front of my mind as I call it a week is, do I really like this job? I know how excited I was when I left the old job back in July. You all remember that. However, I feel like I'm right where I was a year ago: overloaded, overwhelmed, and not overly-enthused to start my day each morning. I think 6 months is a good sample of what the job is all about, and I know a lot more now than I did in July. Yet, I try to look into the future, and I just don't see where it's taking me.

Don't get me wrong. I really like the people I'm working with, and the company I work for is still on a major growth trend. Still, I just don't feel reward. The sales people are pushy and actually a bit of a hinderance. The customers are a bit uncooperative, and I'd be the first to be thrown under the bus if the job isn't completed satisfactorily despite the fact the customer fumbled the ball. I don't know. Maybe it's my usual winter funk. I hope that's all it is because at age 30, and with having strong considerations about taking that next step with my girlfriend, I'd really like to be on a patch to the career I'll have the rest of my professional life. Changing jobs doesn't seem like the right move right now, and certainly wouldn't look good on the resume.

Money and working just plain sucks, don't it?

Pall Bearer

2007-01-17T00:05:00.000-05:00

As you probably deduced from the silence of the last couple of days, Batgirl's aunt did indeed lose her battle with cancer. The wake and funeral was over the last couple of days, and leading up to that ironically was the baptism of Batgirl's 2-month old niece. It's amazing to think that a couple of days after the life of one family member begins (in the eyes of the Catholic Church), the life of another ends with a funeral. Yeah, it was a very busy and emotional weekend with Batgirl's family, and I went along on the ride willingly.

The love these people share is tremendous, and the appreciation for my presence in their lives and in Batgirl's was never felt more evident than when Batgirl's dad asked me to be a pall bearer for the deceased aunt. I only met this aunt twice, with the most recent meeting being in July where I amazed many by holding a long conversation with her at the dinner table while most of the family was off mingling with guests as Batgirl's brother's wedding. I learned that day, and details of my relationship with Batgirl that the aunt undoubtedly would get from her niece, left a great impression on a woman I barely knew. While it felt very awkward, I accepted. That side of the family had few people who could take on the responsibility, and by being asked to do so was amazing.

I was also shocked by the behavior of Batgirl's uncle, who has been devestated by the untimely death of his wife. He is a man with a great many issues (he never told his own family that his wife was dying of cancer; they learned about it in the death notices), and he spent the entire time at the wake slumped forward in a chair, barely greeting mourners, and rarely saying a word to Batgirl's family. For some reason, he never cared for his wife's family, and he kept her away from them as much as possible for many years. This resulted in the aunt missing many-a-memories with her nieces and nephew. It was only in these last few months that everyone learned the truth about the prison her life had become, and in some sick way, I think this was God's way of setting her free.

In all likelihood, Batgirl's uncle will fade into obscurity, and what happens with the 19-year-old cousin (who I caught taking a photo with his cell phone of Batgirl and her mom kneeling at the closed casket, BTW) will be interesting. He handled his mother's illness and eventual death like it wasn't even happening, and he seems to have the attitude of his father that he doesn't need his mother's family being involved in his life. No matter though, because both Batgirl and her mother said they'd try to keep in touch with him.

When I see sad situations like this, it reminds me how lucky I am, and how lucky my girlfriend is, that we have such loving families. This poor cousin of hers is probably going to be as lost of a soul as his father, and there will be nothing his deceased mother's family will be able to do about it. Yes, I felt horrible these two men lost a wife and a mother, but the unhealthy way of dealing with it disgusted me in a way. Shit, I didn't even get a thank you for being a pall bearer from either of them. At least Batgirl and her family were extremely grateful, and that's what was most important to me.

Isn't It Ironic

2007-01-12T00:03:00.000-05:00

I'm going to bail out on the year-in-review shit. Tonight I got word that Batgirl's aunt, who has been battling all types of cancer for the last 5 months or so, is likely in her final hours.

While this news is of no surprise to anyone familiar with the situation, I find some irony in this sad event. You see, about a year ago it was yours truly who had a family member losing the battle to cancer. In case your reading comprehension is horrible, you read about it a couple of Wednesday. Batgirl came into my life at the same time my grandmother lost to this disease. This new romance (at that time) was a welcome distraction to the sadness I felt, and it certainly helped get me through the grieving process.

Now, flash forward to 2007 and it is Batgirl who is feeling the same pain. While her aunt was distant from the rest of the family, there still was time in the months since her diagnosis that she softened up. Batgirl and her mom (who has never handled her sister's sickness well) feel guilt for the lack of involvement the aunt had with the family over the years. I told Batgirl that for her to feel this way is natural at a time like this as they mourn her likely passing, but the reality is the aunt made a choice to be controlled by her husband and be an outsider.

I foresee in the coming weeks a whole lot of phone calls to Batgirl by her mother while she and I try to spend time together. It's going to be sad--and ugly. When the diagnosis first came down, the woman was a mess. She'd get loaded on wine, and make calls to Batgirl. One night, while we were at Master K's 30th, her mom called about five times, but we never heard the cell ring. I told Batgirl she and her sibs would need to have an intervention with their mother about her out-of-control handling of the matter, but it never came down to that as her mom seemed to get a grip in the last couple of months.

This is a very sad, and strange, repeat of history, I must say. I wish this wasn't happening, but unfortunately it is. My condolences go out to Batgirl and her family, especially her grandparents who have treated me like a grandson. Her Nana is not handling this well either, and I do hope she can find the happiness that still exists in her life like her new baby great-granddaughter, and her three grandchildren who have so much in front of them. To everyone out there who doesn't keep involved in their family, you may want to while you have your health. In a snap of a finger, the opportunity could be taken away like it was from Batgirl's aunt.

2006, According to That 30's Guy Part 2, in Short

2007-01-11T00:01:00.000-05:00

I provided a lot of color for January 2006, but now we will blow through the next 4 months of 2006...

February--My relationship with Batgirl got on the fast track. We had memorable dates like going to a college basketball game then hitting up a local popular dive bar for dinner, getting dinner and playing pool just before the biggest storm of the winter hit, and skiing together for the first time. Another night, we just stayed in with the purpose of getting loaded since the next day was President's Day. She introduced me to Nim Chow at that day. We also shared our first Valentine's Day, an evening where I whipped up raspberry chicken and coconut rice. I still have the empty bottle from that night. The first 30th birthday bash of 2006 occured, my longtime pal DT who I've known since we were 2 years old. It would be the first of many last year.

March--not to disprespect my lady by kissing and telling, but the one thing I'll remember most about March was the first time Batgirl and I slept together. We fought off the desire to have sex for well over a month, and finally it happened, albeit unexpectedly. To this day, we are both very glad we waited. I also met her parents. I never felt nervous as they made me feel very welcome. When you look my status now, I'm nearly considered one of the family.

April--Batgirl took me for my first ever massage. Man--as strange as the masseuse was, the experience was very relaxing. No happy ending though. Closing the month,Batgirl and I went on our first ever trip together. We went down south for a marathon she was participating in. We'd never been to the city, and we had a great time. It was during this weekend when the realization hit me that I was falling in love with her.

May--This month had a lot happen. To being, a day after returning from our trip, Batgirl and I hit Fenway Park to see Johnny Damon's return to Boston as the Yankees got smoked by the Red Sox. Unlike many in the park that night, I stood and gave Johnny D a standing ovation. Twice. A day later, a former reader revealed they had been able to uncover Batgirl's identity and where she lived based on info I'd posted in the old blog. Immediately, the old blog was flushed into obscurity, regretfully. Flash forward to the night before Mother's Day. Batgirl and I got loaded. After she hit the floor in a drunken pile and I was helping her up, she looked into my eyes and declared she loved me. What else was I to do but tell her the truth I had come to accept weeks earlier. I loved her, too. The next day, we made sure we told each other without any influence of alcohol. Hearing it again--sober--was just as great as hearing it the first time.

Ah yes--these first 5 months of 2006 were nothing but bliss for Batgirl and I. It really hit me as I was doing this recap that my girlfriend played a major role in the more memorable moments of the last year. That's a pretty good thing to discover as you take inventory of what you look back on in a particularly memorable time of your life.

In June, however, the smooth ride we were enjoying would hit bumps, and the road since would continue to continue to hit potholes up through the New Year...

2006, According to That 30's Guy, Part 1

2007-01-10T06:00:00.000-05:00

Yeah I know. We're halfway into the second full week of 2007. I'm doing my reflection on 2006 now. Some people like this type feature, other's don't. I was a bit burned out on doing work on a computer last week, so call this my "blog catch-up".

As many of you may remember, I had a previously well-supported blog for most of 2005--I'd say about 97% of it. When the end of the year arrived, I thought it would be cool to go through the old posts and see if I'd made the type of progress as a man I had hoped for at the start of the year, or if there was much work still to be done. The piece got a good response from readers as I linked monthly recaps to some of my key posts of the year. It was great for new readers, and it was especially entertaining to longtime fans of the blog. The blog was even up for half of this year, but alas I had to pull it down for over a month. May to June was a dark month in my blog world, but here we are again. We're at a new address, with a new readership (though a minority), and into another year. Why not a look back for the newbies to get to know me more, and a recap of the events you did experience with me?

Let's get into the Delorian...

I'd say January was probably the most pivotal month for me as a person in this past year. Like a great leadoff hitter, January set the tone for 2006 for me. If you've caught the occasional mentions about her in my previous posts, you know about my long distance love who dumped me last November. I began the year with a bit of a heavy heart as I continued to rebound from my heartbreak. I already met a much younger woman (about 6 years my junior) in the beginning of December'06, and after three weeks of dating and with no exciting New Year's Eve plans, she agreed to join me at a party with my friends in Connecticut. We brought the year in in-style: champagne, shrimp, houers d'ouerves, good music, dancing, and dressed to the nines. As the night went on, we couldn't control ourselves, and a couple of hours into 2006, we brought the new year in with a (ahem) bang ;)

The fire from that night didn't last. I was still keeping myself emotionally unavailable, and I was purely content keeping things casual and just getting together once a week. I was definately open to dating other people. Just before the Martin Luther King, Jr holiday weekend, I'm having dinner with my best buddy Ren when my phone rings. I think it's my dad because it comes up as his cell phone. I answer, only to hear a girl's voice. My dad had dared her to call me from the surprise party my mother's former coworkers had thrown for her. As surprised as I was, I found the bold move to be rather attractive. I was tempted to have her come meet Ren and me out at a bar, but decided that may be too forward. I didn't even know who she was.

That woman ended up becoming the woman you all know as Batgirl.

Nearly a week later, after a week of being questioned by my mother and father if I had any interest in meeting this girl my mom used to work with, things with the young girl ended ubruptly (by her choice). My mind was already moving towards going on the blind date with this mystery girl, so the dump didn't quite hurt the way it should. However, the dating situation would quickly take a back seat to a more important matter.

My grandmother had been battling Hodgkin's for the last few months of 2005. I had last spoken to her on New Year's Day. She was so happy I had been able to get back into the dating scene after my heart was broken. In a matter of a couple of weeks, though, her health took a dramatic turn, and it wasn't looking good. I had just spoken with Batgirl to set up our first date, when my mother called to tell me things were taking a turn for the worst. I was ready to fly Florida to be with my dad and uncles, and be able to say my goodbye. However, I would never get that option because on January 26th, 2006, my grandmother passed away.

I was close to my grandmother; she would babysit my brother and I after we got out of school for many years during the afternoons when both of our parents were at work. We'd go over to my grandparents' house every Sunday for dinner. In 1987, my grandfather whom I was very close to passed away to liver cancer, and now we lost his wife, my dad's mother, quite unexpectedly nearly 20 years later. I had last seen her in the summer for a family reunion. She seemed to healthy and vibrant then. Now, she was gone.

I wasn't sure if I should cancel the date with Batgirl the next night, the 27th. I really thought it through hard. I then figured that my grandmother, who had always wanted success in love for me, would want me to meet this woman I already had a good vibe about. Since it would be quite a few days before the funeral, I felt like I could focus my mind on the date. Besides, I didn't want our first time meeting to be at a wake.

Nearly 12 months later, it turned out to be the right decision. We had a very fun first date that last over 5 hours. We hit a few different bars, talked and laughed a lot, and shared our first kiss overlooking the city from a park above downtown. Since then, we fell in love, and will celebrate one year together in 17 days. She had a huge influence in 2006, and it's because of her the year was one I'll be able to look back on fondly.

Coming Up Next: February through May 2006 , at the speed of light...

30's Guy Sage Advice

2007-01-08T22:43:00.001-05:00

I've been taught a few lessons in the last couple of weeks that I hope I remember...

#1 NEVER take your car to a mechanic other than the one you normally use.
This is probably not a newsflash to anyone, but I learned this one the hard way. The head gasket on my Grand Am was leaking coolant, and since the week between Christmas and New Year's was going to short for me, I opted to have the repair done on my car. Problem was: my regular mechanic is always closed that week. I mention this necessary repair to Batgirl's dad, who refers me to a couple of mechanics he's used and was happy with the service. I'm off the day of Batgirl's closing, and again two days later, so I decide to drop my car off at one of the places. The garage seemed kind of shady, but I figured Batgirl's dad wouldn't stear me wrong.

What follows was a repair that took 12 days. Yes. TWELVE DAYS! First, the repair was done, but the mechanic fucked something up. They end up sending my car to another garage they share business with, with the bill being taken care of. I'm told it would be done last Friday, but guess what...it wasn't. I work out a deal for them to pay for a rental, and low-and-behold, the car gets done today. Now, the trick will be getting my money for the rental car.

#2 You should always set a budget before Christmas shopping.
I haven't added my bills up yet, but I can guarantee you it will take me months to dig out of debt. This Christmas, I didn't get a Christmas bonus like I used to at the old job (it was a very generous one, too). I didn't take that into account, and with the additions of Batgirl and a few of her family members (I didn't spend much on them), I may have bitten off more than I could chew. I don't know what has happened, but suddenly my checking account is looking pretty skimpy, especially after I just wrote a check for my car loan payment and took care of my utility, insurance, and cell phone bills today. I guess making mid to low $40K isn't all it's cracked up to be.

#3 Being committed to one person is actually a little work.
I've always been faithful. I haven't had many opportunities to cheat over the years when I was with someone, but then again, I've never had a relationship to the level of the one I have with Batgirl. As we approach our one year anniversary in another 19 days, I've been hit with a couple of temptations. First, there was the girl from the strip club a couple of weeks ago who clearly was flirting with me all night. Now there is the relatively new, and veryattractive, girl in the office who caught my eye just before Christmas, and continues to turn my head each day. All I know about her is she's about my age, is divorced, and today I discovered she smokes (which is a bit of turn off for me, not that I have any problem with people who smoke). Today I also noticed her flirt a little with me, and that stuck with me for a time. Admittedly, I enjoyed it briefly.

Of course, no matter what happens, I always seem to get her out of my mind when the work day ends, and Batgirl comes back to the forefront of my carnal desires. I guess it's all about discipline, and appreciating what you have with the one you love.

Feelin' Blue

2007-01-07T20:34:00.000-05:00

I know it's been a while since my last post, and a lot of you non-sports fans care to read sports-oriented writing but...too fuckin' bad. I've been pretty burned out with computer use due to the job, but at the moment I am motivated.

Tonight, hopes that were so high, and declined gradually throughout this NFL season, came to a crushing end. My New York Giants, who I was so confident back in September would be representing the NFC in Super Bowl XL on Feb 4, fell to the Philadelphia Eagles 23-20 on a last-second field goal. More of the same that I and my fellow Giants fans suffered through all season continued on in this game. We saw penalties at in-opportune times, piss-poor playcalling, classic folds in crunch time by the defense, big plays by the opposing team when momentum was moving over to Big Blue's favor, and bad tackling. It was the perfect microcosm of the 2006 season.

Of course, the biggest disappointment--at least for me--is tonight's loss marks the end of the career of my favorite player, Tiki Barber (above). He had another stellar game tonight, except he couldn't get the ball into the end zone when they needed it late. Nevertheless, the Giants lose a superstar player and a classy human being. There aren't many likable players on this team, and with Tiki leaving there aren't many more choices. I sure do hope that if the Giants brass wisens up and cleans out the coaching staff that Tiki will have a change of heart. It sure doesn't sound like it, but I can always dream right? Like, about how Big Blue's going to do next season?

That 30's Guy Super Bowl Pick-Not-To-Click: Baltimore Ravens vs. New Orleans Saints.

Testosterone Tuesday 2007

2007-01-02T00:02:00.000-05:00

What better way to bring in 2007 than with a Testosterone Tuesday post?

So you're probably wondering why I have photos of Carmen Electra and Pam Anderson. Well, because I had a hot as fuck dream about the two of them on New Year's Eve. Funny thing was, I had it with Batgirl laying next to me in bed.

In a nutshell, the backdrop for the dream was that I was on some type of business trip and it began with Pam Anderson and myself being alone in my hotel room. One way or another, things lead to us messing around. She ends up having to go off and make an appearance somewhere, and I'm all paranoid the press is going to be on top of our rendez-vous. I'm praying Batgirl won't find out.

Some time later, Carmen Electra makes her appearance in the dream. Once again, we begin to get into it, except we keep getting interrupted and a little hot sex never comes to fruition...which is a the way things would go in real life.

What the hell causes this? It's rare for me to have any dreams about celebs, although some years ago I had a sweet dream about me and Winona Ryder. I've never looked at her the same since. Who have you been hot for while in slumber (celeb or someone you know)?

Yeah. Not the typical Testosterone Tuesday I would post, but I thought it would be amusing to talk about. I'm sure most of you would have like a New Year's-type recap, and I will work on that tonight. Until then, don't be too depressed about returning to work. Afterall, it's going to be a short week anyway.

So much can happen in one week...

2006-12-28T11:24:00.000-05:00

Wow. Since the last time I posted there has been quite a bit going on. Where to start? How 'bout Friday night...

Friday, 12/22 - Batgirl surprises me with a phone call in the afternoon while I was at work. She hand landed college basketball tickets for free. Who am I to say no? I knew it would be a dead crowd with plenty of options to sit closer to the floor, so I thought it would be a fun idea.

Well, two of my best friends, The Attorney and Nern, hold season tix. I could see them from our seats and wanted to say hello. Since Batgirl always got along with them I didn't think it would be a big deal even though we were on a "date." How wrong I was. First she wanted me to go over alone (it was a bit of a distance away), then she reluctantly agreed to go joke about he could "have her job" since he was hired by the Department of Education (he is a lawyer) to defend parents who think their special ed kids are not being done right by teachers in the integrated classroom. Needless to say, she didn't care for that comment and was quite upset. She stewed for half of the second half before I decided we'd better get the hell out of there.

On the way to the car, she blew up and basically said that if he was going to be a guy who could some day be facing her from across a table, trying to hurt her career because of some overzealous parent, she couldn't mingle with him. She's had to take on such lawyers in the past, and as recently as that afternoon she had a parent threatening to haul her friend (a special ed teacher) into court. In a nutshell, it was the "choose between me and your friend" proposal. I told her that wasn't fair, and I would need to talk about the situation with Nern. At first she said I shouldn't, but I insisted and told her that while I know he was only kidding, he deserved to be made aware of how he made her felt, and the impact of taking such a job. The strange thing is, his wife is also a teacher and she stands by his position on an integrated classroom (one that allows special ed kids into a traditional classroom environment), and didn't reprimand him for his poor taste of humor.

Saturday, 12/23 - Capt. Paul returned home from Iraq. When he is home from Iraq, one of his favorite activities is to hit a nudie bar. So, he, Ren and myself did just that. Sure, I know Batgirl would flip a wig if she knew I did that, but it's what my buddy who's seen nothing but sand and army fatigues for the last year wanted to do. What I didn't anticipate was making...a friend.

Ren had been pulled upstairs for a lap dance, so Paul and I were just sipping back beers and bullshitting at a table when this girl plops down next me and says,"Hi. For ten minutes, you're going to be my boyfriend."

I asked if some slimeball was bugging her, and she said no. She claimed some friends had told her to meet them there after she got out of work at her bar. Ten minutes turned into an hour-plus. It became painfully obvious this girl was digging my shit as time wore on. Paul called it from where he was sitting. This was my second test of the weekend. She invited us to stop by her bar this week on the nights she was tending (Tuesday and Friday). I was considering it for some reason, maybe due to the events of the night before. When we went separate ways at the end of the night, she kissed me on the cheek while hugging me (didn't do the same to Ren and CP).

My lust for this girl bugged me all through Christmas, but when Tuesday night arrived and I had the opportunity to go, I made the decision it was not worth it. I have a great thing with Batgirl (the friends thing aside) and it's not worth throwing away from some shady college chick who was in a strip club alone on a late Saturday night. If I were single and looking for a fling, I'd be on that all day though.

Christmas - By the time the holiday weekend ended, it became clear to me how much this woman loves me, her family loves me, how much my family loves her (my mom thought I was going to propose, and my sister was disappointed I didn't)...and how much she means to me.

I slept over her place Christmas Eve, and we opened our presents to each other that morning before going separate ways to our parents' houses. It felt special, like nothing I'd ever been a part of. The crowning moment for me was when she opened the heart-shaped gold & diamond necklace. She absolutely loved it, and she makes sure she wears it conspicuously for all to see. When Christmas night came and it was time for me to go home, I felt kind of sad. I had to work the next morning, and needed to go home and get some sleep alone. The holiday was over, and it was my best Christmas in recent memory. It sucks when it ends and the next day is back to work.

Wednesday, 12/27 - Batgirl's big day finally arrived. She closed on her house. It warmed my heart to see her so excited and happy. She really does look at this place as where she will spend the next 10-20 years, and as the home she will share with me. I'm still uncomfortable when I hear her talk like that, but deep down in my heart, I think I see it that way too. She makes me feel like no one has before.

Yesterday was a day that really kickstarted the whole "our future" throught process for me. My old roommate just announced he was engaged this past weekend, so now I'm thinking. We'll have met one year ago on January 27th, and so much has happened and been shared since then. I can't see her out of my life, nor can I see my being that happy with it even when we have these episodes about sharing my spare time with my friends. The decision about marriage is close to be being made, but the last obstacles I need to overcome are: financial planning, and what she expects of me once we decide to wed. Am I expected to be in a bubble with her, just like her parents are with each other? In this bubble, is it going to be us and her immediate family most of the time (they all live in close proximity to each other)? Am I supposed to stand by as she plays shrink for her emotionally unstable mother on a regular basis? Important questions.

The next few weeks are going to be very interesting as she finally gets settled in to this big house living by herself, and the thoughts about us kick into high gear with the one-year anniversary approaching. First thing's first, of course: how quickly we can paint a bunch of rooms, and how we manage to spend New Year's Eve--with friends, or us alone.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-22T06:00:00.000-05:00

It's amazing how time flies in the week leading up to Christmas.

I know that today is probably a write-off for most of you in the office, or maybe you're going to be like me and frantically try to get caught up so that next week is a breeze. Either way, what better day for me to do one last update for the work week?

Since my last post, I went to see Rocky Balboa, discovered a very attractive co-worker, and got pretty close to completion of Christmas shopping.

To start with the latest "Rocky" movie, it was far better than that disaster known as Rocky V. I'm convinced Stallone did not title this new chapter Rocky VI because he wanted us all to forget the fifth film. I got goosebumps when the traditional trumpets began to play at the start of the movie, and a big smile came to my face during Rocky's traditional training montage. I know the audience felt the same as me as there were people who clapped at the start of the film, and there were those who applauded at the start of the fight when Rocky was introduced to the fictional audience.

The main things I walked away with from this film was this: it's underlying message was about moving forward, which is ironic since it's advisable Sly not make another Rocky flick. Ever. Secondly, the film incorporated ESPN coverage as part of the story to give it that present-day feel. The fight was filmed as if it were on HBO with Larry Merchant and Jim Lampley calling the action at ringside. I thought that was a cool aspect. Finally, you couldn't help but get that warm, fuzzy feeling with all the nostalgia recalled from the past movies--mainly Rocky I and II. Believe it or not, Batgirl has never seen any of the previous "Rocky's," and I think this one has peaked interest to see them.

My final assessment: it's fifth place among the six in the series, however it's not too far from Rocky IV. If you loved Rocky III & IV, you'll love Rocky Balboa to close it out. Next....

The hot co-worker...yeah. She got hired a couple of weeks ago, but since she had been brought on, I had been moved upstairs. She looks younger than 30, but I learned from our conversation the other night while our department was out that she is already divorced. There was never a mention of a boyfriend, which automatically makes her more attractive that she is on the market. Alas, I am not, and it looks like I have to come to grips that it will be better to look than touch. Besides, it's never advisable to "dip into the company ink."

I'll be looking forward to the "How's she looking today?" question being answered daily.

Finally, Christmas. This will be my first Christmas in love. I can only recall one other time in my life when I had a girlfriend during this time of year, but that was back in '99, and we'd only been together for about a month or so. We were never in love. With Batgirl, we're looking at 11 months together on the day she closes on her house next week. Pretty fucking amazing how fast this year has gone by.

The toughest part about this year's Christmas is figuring out how we are going to divide the time between the families, friends, and us alone. I already know we'll be spending the early evening of Christmas Eve with her family, then it's on to the wild party my parents host each Christmas Eve. Her family was invited to come for whole night, but they declined to attend. They are nice people, but a bit socially off. They prefer their inner circle only, which is where I now see Batgirl gets her behavior from.

My friends, on the other hand, have built up the parents' "open house" into a favorite event of theirs. It's got to the point they hype it up to others when we all get together just prior to the holiday. Batgirl's heard much about this event and is curious to see what all the hubbub is about. Even my mom wrote up some type of press release about the party on a Christmas card to Batgirl's folks in an attempt to get their family to come over.

Anyhow, the only buzzkill will be that I know Master K will stop by with Shep. My friends tend to arrive late after spending the evening with their families. Most of the party-goers are leaving the house when they come in. In no time, the guests will consist only of my friends and my brother and sister, huddled up at my dad's bar in the gameroom. I'm concerned how Batgirl will handle this since there won't be many options for her to avoid Shep. Otherwise, we should have much to look forward to in our first Christmas together.

Oh, and for those who want to know what I got my lady, I went with a diamond necklace, a couple of sweaters ("snugly" fitting of course), and an Elizabeth Arden perfume gift package. I will also be getting her a "welcome " mat for her house, and make a CD copy of this slide show set to music that I made her for our 6-month anniversary this summer.

Enjoy your families, your friends, your special someones this weekend. I will check back in with you next week as I look back on my year. 2006 was certainly a big year for me as my life saw some major changes. A lot happened that has helped me grow up more and see things more different than I did at this time one year ago.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Testosterone Tuesday

2006-12-19T06:58:00.000-05:00

You know what? I'm gonna do something different this week. I'm not going to bitch about the New York Giants because anyone who watched them get soundly whipped by the Donovan McNabb-less Eagles yesterday can pretty much see what I've harped on all season long. It's not worth the time or space to repeat myself. All I want to say is, do us all a favor, Big Blue: don't waste another January weekend afternoon on me like you did last year. Just miss the playoffs, and get ready for 2007 with the hope this sorry excuse for a coaching staff is collecting unemployment, and Tiki Barber opts to come back one more year due to some unfinished business.

Onto the good stuff...

I never heard of Miss USA Tara Conor until late last week, but Oh My Gawd!!! This chick is smokin'! From the Pat O'Brien book of vocabulary, the whole idea of what she's been doing to lose the title is so...fucking...hot. Any other guys out there agree with me?
What the fuck is up with Britney Spears? I really want to know. I mean, isn't she a mother of two? Who the hell is watching her kids while she stumbles about in public with her vag on display, her breasts nearly visible, and more recently, half-dressed with her mis-matched lingerie for all to see.

It's closer than you think, folks. Brit will be in Playboy before the age of 30.
Saturday night's vicious brawl between the Knicks and the Nuggests reminded me just why I no longer watch the NBA.
Let me get this straight: Nuggest coach George Karl called Isiah Thomas "a jackass"? And this is some great revelation how?
I don't know if I'm in the minority, but I'm pretty stoked about Rocky Balboa, opening on Wednesday. Early word from critics is this will be a good one, erasing the bad memories of Rocky V.
As much as I hate the team, I have to give credit where credit is due. I never would have believed you if you told me the Philadelphia Eagles, without Donovan McNabb, would surpass my Giants and stand a better chance at making the postseason.
Never mind the crying of Giants fans everywhere; imagine how Carolina Panther fans must be feeling after seeing their team, a consensus Super Bowl favorite in the preseason, get embaressed at home by the Steelers 37-3 Sunday? Pathetic.
Finally, my nightmarish fantasy season ended this weekend, although one of the teams I had stood a real shot at taking it all had not most of my studs run into defensive powerhouses this weekend. My other team finished dead last for the first time in my 14 years of playing. Not a good feeling.
Ok. Great. The Red Sox seem to have bolstered their starting rotation, the middle relief, and the top of their lineup with the acquistion of Julio Lugo. What about our closer? Is this a repeat of 2003 when we had the infamous "bullpen by committee?" What about this sudden "snag" in the physical on JD Drew, thus holding up his deal with the Sox? I'll tell you one thing, Sox brass: let the deal fall through. Save yourselves the trouble of dealing with Nancy Drew's ailments for the next 5 years by cutting off the deal NOW!
Has anyone seen the carefully, but hilariously edited, clip titled "Seinfeld: The Lost Episode" where Kramer is exposed as a racist? Obvisouly this was born from the whole Michael Richards controversy of a few weeks back. While racism is not funny, the segment is worth a look. Some people just have way too much time on their hands.
The NFL made the right call in fining Terrell Owens for spitting in the face of Deangelo Hall of the Falcons on Saturday night. Now if only someone could lay a big hit on T.O. to knock his teeth out and shut his fat mouth, we'll be guaranteed him never spitting again.
You don't know terror until you've been to the doctor's office and heard the smack of a rubber glove being fitted on his hand.

Unless you're into that sort of thing.

A Saturday Afternoon Post

2006-12-16T14:39:00.000-05:00

For those who checked my previous post's comments, I informed you all that things went well at the doctor's office on Thursday.

For those who didn't...well, there is the update.

Bascially, he is 99% sure that what happened to me on Monday was nothing more than a normal event as human's age. We agreed that keeping an eye for frequency of repeated occurances would be the next step, and if it happens again with some regularity and accompanying symptoms, immediate testing would be recommended.

I did end up telling Batgirl about the forthcoming doctor's visit on Wednesday night. She actually guessed at what the cause was, and took the news very calmly. I was glad because the last thing I wanted to do was scare her, but I didn't want to shock her with bad news had the exam turned that up.

So--the health is good. Bottom line is, though, I need to start exercising more.

Among the most popular search words that bring readers here is "Amy Lawrence" of ESPN Radio-fame. I did a post about her this summer, where I basically ripped her for being a shitty sports radio personality. Why the searches? Well, when guys hear a chick on the radio talking sports, curiosity (and hope) she is hot is the first thing that comes to mind. Hence, the searchers are seeking photos of Amy to satisfy their need.

Well, Wednesday night, Batgirl and I had an impromptu dinner date at a local brew pub in town. Over her shoulder, I noticed a couple having drinks and dinner as well. The woman was quite the motor-mouth, and I could almost hear the conversation (from her end) rather clearly. Late in the night while Batgirl was in the bathroom, I was able to focus on what was being said and couldn't help but her the woman rattling off about ESPN Radio and naming personalities with regular programming. That's when it hit me: the voice, the look, the incessant babbling's subject matter. It had to be Amy Lawrence!

I wanted so badly to rescue the poor guy. I'm not sure if they were on some type of date, or they were just friends, or what. All I knew was, this guy looked like a soul who needed rescuing. Unfortunately, Batgirl stood in my way of going over to there table to confirm the woman was in fact Ms. Lawrence. I'm willing to bet it was. In any event, guys--she ain't worth the search.
Finally, last night, my pal Nern and his wife Angel had everyone over to celebrate his 30th. Just about everyone invited showed up. Everyone, that is, except one notable absentee: Master K. Although he RSVP'd he would come, he did an about face and called shortly before I arrived and said he'd skip because "Shep (his fiance) is sick and doesn't want me to go."

Needless to say, last night was the first time I saw a lot of people's true colors in regards to their feelings about Shep. It started with Master K's mother and step-father, then it surprised me to hear harsh words from MK's cousin--who has always been supportive of his cousin's decisions. I knew it was really bad when The Attorney spouted off about Master K's decision not to come because of Shep, and Attorney is another one of those guys that rarely has anything bad to say about anyone.

Bascially, the bottom line was nobody bought Shep was sick. Everyone has their reasons to believe that, and it certainly makes for an interesting situation next weekend. Master K will undoutbedly be stopping by my folks' place Christmas Eve with Shep by his side, and Batgirl (who can't stand Shep) will be there, as well as many others from the party her tore her up. The one comment that stood out came from Master K's cousin, who said to me,"This has got to stop. Something needs to be done about this (the marriage)."

I'm not exactly 100% sure of what goes on between them, and what others know about the two's relationship, but it certainly brings up more about something I posted a couple months ago. If so many people see the same thing about a loved one's significant other, should somebody step up to the plate and voice the concern of the masses?

Don't Call Me Thick-headed Anymore

2006-12-12T21:40:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all you good people who commented earlier today, I decided to call my doctor and set up an appointment for a physical. In fact, his secretary commented about how I hadn't had one "in ages." She's right about that, but now I wisened up and got an appointment. Unfortunately, it's not going to be until Thursday afternoon, so I'm a bit nervous about what the next day-plus has in store. There's been no repeat of last night's scare, but then again there hasn't been an opportunity to. I'd be lying if I said that when my mind wasn't on the job, it was back on what could/couldn't be wrong.

Good news is I don't really feel much different. No pain or anything. However, I think the worry over this since leaving work has left my stomach in knots. I did tell my dad about what happened, but I haven't spoken with Batgirl yet. I'm torn over whether I should tell her. She has a deadline to meet this week, and the matter of her sick aunt, weighing on her mind. I don't want to add more wood into the fire. I do hear the suggestions of the readers, and agree, but timing may not be all that good, especially when it may be a little while before we know of anything wrong.

In the meantime, I'll try to go forward without much worry. That's what my dad said. Until we know what's up, I can't let it drive me crazy. Work does enough of a good job at that!

Cause for Concern?

2006-12-12T00:04:00.000-05:00

I intended on preparing this week's "Testosterone Tuesday" tonight, but a late return home from Day One of the 2006 Christmas shopping season for me will prevent that.

That, and my mind is on a more serious occurrence.

Monday night, after a very stressful day on the job, I returned home and discovered blood coming from my body in a place and way it shouldn't be. Needless to say I am very alarmed by this. In fact, I immediately got faint and had to delay my plans to heat up some leftover pizza slices in the oven. There was a good deal of blood and it was downright scary.

I admit, I haven't been responsible about going to the doctor for regular physicals. It's been a few years since I had one. Granted, I have still been to see the doctor for various ailments, but I just haven't done the right thing and gone for an annual check up. I have said that once I hit 30, I'd schedule regular exams, but with my mind consumed by other things (like the job), I haven't done it yet. Maybe now, this has got it through my thick skull.

Now, I know a lot of you reading this are concerned for me (and there are those of you who could care less, and I don't blame you). I feel the same as I did when I woke up Monday, Sunday, Friday, a week ago. I felt fine enough to heat up that pizza, eat a salad and go out to shop for gifts. Some preliminary online reading indicates it may not be anything serious. It wouldn't shock me if this is stress related. I mean, for over three years now I've been pretty overwhelmed in two different jobs, and today was quite a brutal day--but now the worst I've had since starting this job in July. Bottom line though is, this is something I need to watch out for again, and if I see anything like it, it's time to suck it up and go see the doc.

You know, what is ironic is while on my home tonight, Batgirl was telling me that the health of her aunt battling cancer is not getting any better. In fact, it wouldn't shock anyone if she succumbs to cancer in the next couple of months. I will keep this to myself for now, for there is no need to get her alarmed.

Let's hope there never is a reason to alarm her.

You Know You're Getting Old When...

2006-12-10T23:00:00.000-05:00

...you watch on as your pregnant, younger cousin--whom you once held as a baby back in 1984--is proposed to by her boyfriend (at his 30th birthday party), and the ring is the one once worn by your late grandmother.

And she says "Yes."

Looks like there will be 2 weddings in the "That 30's" family in 2007. The other will be my other female cousin. Only one "That 30's" woman left, and that's my sister--and she better not be getting be married before me!

Not Quite in the Mood

2006-12-07T19:25:00.000-05:00

Before you horny freaks out there think I mean I'm talking about sex, I will stop you right there. I'm always ready to rock the walls. Nah, I mean Christmas.

My #1 rule is I don't do Christmas shopping on the weekends during "the season." I get bored too easily while shopping, and I get easily annoyed by people who are intending to "make a day of it" shopping. You know the types, the ones who seem to either be looking up at the ceiling in the mall or just walking at the speed of a snail because they really don't have somewhere to go. Yeah. Those. There are people like me who budget to shop about 1-2 hours max per shopping day who are speeding along so that 2 hours can get condensed down to 45 minutes. Call me a man on a mission while at the mall.

Of course, this year is extremely different. I'm in uncharted territory. I'm in a heavy, serious relationship. It took 30 years, but it finally happened. Luckily, I'm in decent financial shape. However, I'm not in the type of shape where I can add on another two parents, two sibling/married couples, an infant, and a dog, very easily. Now, I know that I'm not expected to buy any gifts for Batgirl's sibs and their spouses, but I gotta get something for her parents and the newborn niece! Nothing expensive, but something thoughtful. I just don't know what yet.

Then there is my side, where there's two sibs, parents, grandparents (sadly, I'm minus-one this year, and for the rest of my life), and I always buy for my eternally single aunts who have no family of their own. One aunt is my godmother, so it's going to be hard to change that tradition.

Finally, the big one: Batgirl. I seriously have no clue what to get her. I love to spoil her, even though she is nowhere near as material as, say, Master K's fiance Shep. I already told her to not get me anything over $50 (I know something she got me already) since she'll be paying for a house in the next couple of months. I know she's ignoring that because it is our first Christmas together--a point she always brings up. I can only think of jewelry right now, but I don't want to go nuts. Besides, there's a more important piece of jewelry I think I should be saving for. Beyond what glitters, I'm drawing a blank as to the alternate options.

I try not to procrastinate, but Monday is December 12 and it will be time to start shopping. Long hours in the office to be complimented by an evening among hordes of shoppers. I'm not looking forward to it. I'm also not looking forward to adding on to the $500+ I spent on gifts a year ago, especially because I don't believe I'll be seeing a Christmas bonus (a generous payout at my old job that always paid for my Christmas expenditures) in 2006.

Yeah, you could say I haven't quite gotten into the mood. Can ya blame me?

Testosterone Tuesday

2006-12-05T21:21:00.000-05:00

Ten male-oriented topics to touch upon:

I'm not going to be a whiney Giants fan this week. The bottom line is, the G-men lost to a better team. Now, Big Blue at 100% healthy, the Cowgirls don't win that game Sunday in the Meadowlands, but the fact of the matter is--this one was on the players. Stupid personal foul penalties at key junctures of the game are just plain killing this team. I'ts obvious that 3 years into his tenure, Tom Coughlin will not cure the discipline problem that has plagued the Giants since the start of this new century. Luckily for Big Blue, being 6-6 in the NFC is not a bad thing. They could go 10-6 (though it will take a 4-game win streak) and make the playoffs. Of any team in the NFC right now, they stand the best chance to peak at the right time. They will undoubtedly get healthier, they face two division opponents who I think are levels below them, and will do battle the last weekend against a Saints team that really doesn't have the type of defense that can contain the Giants O when it comes ready to play.

Ready to play. That's the key here. If Tom Coughlin wants to come back next season, he needs to get this team ready, and it starts this week against the overrated Carolina Panthers, who are also a disappointing 6-6 after blowing it on Monday Night against Phillie. I believe the Giants will win this game for some reason. They showed me more than I ever expected from them this past Sunday, and it gives me hope.
Amazing. Nearly a week after her cooch is all over the internet and in the news, I still get a ton of hits seeking photos of Britney's Beaver (looks like I will pick up and extra 50 hits for saying those two words).
Nelly Furtado turned down a$500,000 payday to pose in Playboy? Daaaammmn! I guess some people really won't put a price on their pride.
Earlier tonight on ESPN Radio's "The Sportsbash with Eric Kuselias," I heard ESPN Baseball Report Jayson Stark report there was now a 25-35% chance of Manny Ramirez being traded, and in fact the Red Sox have put a deadline of Wednesday PM on trading the goofball. Disappointing. We were so close....
Speaking of the Sawks, we have good news on young star pitcher Jon Lester: doctors have told him he's cancer-free from lymphoma, and he is planning to report to training camp on time.
Enough with this BCS B.S.: let's get a playoff system started and end this silly debate over who should be playing for a national title, and instead have 6-8 teams make their own arguments on the field. 1-AA does it; why is that so hard?
The Billboard Music Awards was Monday night. I'm a guy...I don't care. Award shows suck.
Head coaches in the NFL who need their heads checked because they are sticking with their mistake-prone QB's: Chicago's Lovie Smith & Detroit's Rod Marianelli. Smith's QB Rex Grossman had a QB rating of 1-point-something Sunday, and Marianelli's Jon Kitna single-handedly lost the Lions' game to the Patriots. Both QB's are responsible for tons of turnovers in recent weeks. While it makes sense for Kitna to get benched since the Lions are going nowhere (as usual), I guess I can see why Lovie doesn't want to sit Grossman since the Bears are at 10-2 in the NFC and have clinched the division. Expect him to cost them a playoff game.
At my company Christmas party last Friday night, there were two excellent buffets: the dinner buffet...and the selection of the company's hot single ladies. I would have been in my glory had I been a single man: hotel room, lots of booze, and none of the best-looking, available girls worked anywhere near my local office.
The Red Sox spend $70-million over 5 years on JD Drew, a player known to not play injured and have little heart. Great. I expect him to be on the 15-day DL by mid-May. Next up, other huge chunks of change to sign Julio Lugo to play shortstop and commit errors, and finally Japanese "phenom" Diseke Matzusaka.

Looks like I picked the wrong season to leave my old company, where I landed lots of free Red Sox tickets.

When I Grow Up...

2006-12-01T06:30:00.000-05:00

First I just have to thank Britney Spears and "her bare beaver" for all the traffic she drove to my blog yesterday. I got a kick out of what the most common search term for her most intimate--well, no longer that intimate--of areas was. Here's a clue: I used it in my opening sentence.

New day, new subject now.

As many of you longtime readers know, I left the job I had for the last four years to take the position I currently have at a new company. It's now been over four months already, and while I've gain quite a bit of knowledge so that I can be at least effective in this new industry to me, I still have a long way to go. Unfortunately, there is not enough time for "a long way to go." I am buried. Almost to the point I'm beginning to lose a handle on the workload.

I inherited the work that was once handled by my cousin, who is still at the same company and in the same office. At the time I came in, he was up to his ears in assignments and was extremely happy to have me on board. He could breathe a little bit easier once I got up to speed on how to do the job and concentrate on the new hot product the company is selling, instead of dealing with two. Well, the older product I handle is still a hot seller and business is rolling in. Now, we BOTH are up to our ears.

Now while I am not as swamped as I was when I left my old job, I'm still doing the work of two people. That was one of the biggest problems I was dealing with my final 2 years at the old employer, except there I was doing enough work to occupy 3 people. Being busy is good, but being overwhelmed with assignments in an industry that's 4-months-old to you is very intimidating. While it was exciting to me to go on to a fast-growing company, it's now become apparent to me this place is going to suffer the same problems my old employer was: growing too fast for its own good.

Sometimes we think the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but the reality is, that's not usually the case. There have been days in the last two weeks or so when I left with that same trapped feeling I used to get leaving the old place. Deep down, I know my passion for this job isn't there. My passion growing up was to be creative for a living: Write movies, write books, direct, draw comics; those were things I thought I may do. Then as I got older, my interest in sports deepened and I became fascinated by the world of sports broadcasting. I pursued that dream in college, only to find the money wouldn't be there when I graduated, it would be hard to break in unless you had connections, and settling down in one place for more than a year would be a rarity. I opted to become a "suit" and later got into sales, only to step backwards into a customer service role, then to what I'm doing now. Except I don't wear a suit.

Don't get me wrong. This company is a lot more enjoyable to work for in terms of the people. Their mood is better, I have a lot more guys I can relate to, and we do find ways to have a laugh throughout the day. It's just, when you're sitting at your desk and not sure how to solve the problem that has arisen, or how you even got there, it makes you ask yourself,"What am I doing here? This isn't me!"

The company Christmas party is actually tonight, and it should be a good time since it's being held at one of downtown's ritziest hotels. Batgirl and I wil get dolled up, and get a room there for 65% off the normal rate as part of the company block. There's no doubt in my mind that there will be a more festive feel to it than the parties I attended the last two years at the last company (who incidently invited me to attend their holiday party in a couple of weekends; I won't be going due to Nern's 30th birthday party that night).

Yeah, I'm sure I may be whining because of stress, but I do wonder if I should be listening to these thoughts. Afterall, I am just 4 months into a new job, new industry, and possibly a new career. This is a company that has grown substantially in the last 5 years, so it must be doing something right. I just wish I knew what it was like to be professionally satisfied because I can honestly say that in 8 years of being out in the real world, I've never felt it.

News Flash! Britney Spears is a fan of my blog!

2006-11-29T00:52:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm only assuming so. These latest shots of Miss Brit, courtesy of What Would Tyler Durden Do? and Celebrity Smack, lead me to believe she is since we now finally see what men everyhwere had been clammoring for: a Britney Bare Beaver Shot! Perhaps she read my post yesterday about going the whole 9 yards?

I can honestly say, I'm sorry it had to go this way: with C-section scars, not in the shape she was Pre K-Fed, and obviously unintentional (um...yeah)

Oh, and by the way, I'm convinced more than ever there is something going on between Spears and Paris Hilton. Hanging out a lot lately, holding hands in photos of them together, and Britney's panties missing while in Paris' company. Put the pieces together people!

Not Quite A Testosterone Tuesday

2006-11-28T07:00:00.000-05:00

I'll get into my usual diatribes on sports, sex and such, but I have to admit that tonight I'm taking one for the team. I agreed to go with Batgirl to a concert many months ago. It's music that I've never been into, will likely never get into, and will have to drive 90 minutes with her to get there. It didn't really hit me until today. Not very manly; I know. I'm swamped at work and will need to leave no later than 4pm so that we can make it on time (with traffic, it's going to take me nearly an hour to get to her apartment). I look at it this way: for all the suffering I've put her through with friends' weddings and birthdays, a trip to Atlanta to see the Giants play, and my Sunday whining over my horrible fantasy football team, I owe it to her. No need to present me with a medal.

Now onto the entertainment portion of the posting...

This is now twice in one season that the Giants have forced me to say I'm embaressed to call myself a Giants fan. Sunday's meltdown in Tennessee was nothing short of disgraceful. The blame game starts from the top with the coaching staff for not having this team ready to play 60 minutes for a third straight week, and can basically end with the players for having zero ability to think for themselves.

Why is it other team with injuries woes can seem to find a way to win? Easy: Coaching. Why is it guys like Plaxico Burress continue to dog it (and get away with it)? Coaching. Why is this team continues to commit stupid penalties to keep drives alive? Coaching.
Memo to Tom Coughlin: if you're going to rip your players for airing "dirty laundry" to the press, why not practice what you preach?
I'm seeing way too many parallels between the Red Sox and the Giants. I guess now I can cite examples when people ask me how I could be both a fan of a Boston team, and fan of a NY team.
I don't know about you, but don't you find in a little unusual that all these paparzzi pictures of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton hanging out also constantly show them holding hands? Do you think the Kevin-Federline-fueld rumor that Brit is bi could be true? That's hot.
As much as I rip Michael Vick at every chance I get, I will take the time to say this week that it ain't all his fault. Vick's receivers blow donkey dick. Roddy White dropped an easy pass inside the Saints' 20 on a late drive that could have pulled the Falcons into a tie.
That said, giving your hometown fans the bird when there are kids who look up to you watching was nothing short of classless Vick. Dare I say, the Michael Vick days in Hot-lanta are coming to a close? Ask Byung-Hyung Kim what happens when a guy gives the finger to the home crowd.
Oh please! Please--say it is so Theo! I'll be the first guy pulling up to Fenway to take Manny to Logan.
Let me get this straight, though, Theo: we're willing to pay $14-million for the soft JD Drew (who is a great player WHEN healthy), but we weren't willing to pay that to Johnny Damon last winter. I guess we all learn from our mistakes, eh?
Not to dwell on the Britney/Paris Sex-press too much, but how'd ya like to see this threesome? Talk about storage for the Spank Bank!
It may be time for us to start taking the 9-2 Baltimore Ravens seriously, eh?
Sorry Bears fans, but your boys are going to suffer from the same problem my Giants have. It just hit you a little later: a gun-slinging young QB who has no confidence in his ability, and no concept of how to make decisions on the fly. At least you have Brian Griese to turn to; we have the "Round Mound of Touchdown" Jared Lorenzen.
One last Britney item (man, she's on a roll this last week): would you just please fulfill my prediction that you'd be posing in Playboy by age 30 to sve your career? These beaver shots coming out of Paris Hilton's truck is just a tease!
Please, Big Blue--would you show us some pride and lay the same smackdown you placed on the Cowboys in their house, in our own den this coming Sunday? In case you forgot, first place is on the line, and 'The Boys answered the bell to go 4-1 since that Monday Night Massacre. Who you got?

Power of Positivity

2006-11-26T21:33:00.000-05:00

The final hours of Thanksgiving weekend are ticking down, and my Giants gave me absolutely zero to smile about today. I won't bother to go on a rant, but rest assured you'll see something about today's monumental collapse in Tennessee in this week's edition of "Testosterone Tuesday"! Needless to say, I'm a bit sad the 4-day stretch is over. Sunday nights have not been easy for me of late, and the job is a big part of that. The euphoria of leaving the last job (which by the way extended an invite to me for their Xmas party) had worn off and the "new" one has disappointed me tremendously. More on that later this week.

The last 24 hours have been about positivity. Hours after the post I put up Saturday, I went over to Batgirl's for a (hopefully) relaxing home-cooked dinner. She agreed with me that we needed a fun night free of house-and-family-related stress. That we did. Dinner was excellent (can't go wrong with chicken, pasta, and a bottle of red), and then I got a great idea to spice up the night: go buy one of those bedroom games at the mall. Ever since I started hitting the mall as a teen, I always wondered what those games in the novelty store were like. Now firmly entrenched in a serious relationship, I figured why not try one out now?

Batgirl was excited about the idea. We hurried out the door quickly so we could catch the mall before it closed. We picked up two games: one had five different decks of cards with different tasks, and you spin to see which deck you pull from. The other game has 52 scratch tickets, and you pull one, alternating "for him" and "for her," each week of the year. The idea was a success. It was a lot of fun not knowing what we'd have to do next. Some cards we just could not do, or didn't want to, and some we varied up to make it better. Either way, this was the type of thing we'd been lacking lately, and it made for an incredibly satisfying night...and morning ;)

Anyone looking to try something new, I highly recommend grabbing of these games. Their cheap, and definitely can provide more "bang for your buck."

Today, we took my parents by Batgirl's soon-to-be new house and happen to catch the seller. Real nice guy. Told us all about things he updated, things he changed, how he did them, and left Batgirl with some nice tips. It was great seeing her so excited, and I think it was refreshing for her to get such positive reaction from my folks. My mom repeatedly offered to give a hand when the time came to start painting, and my dad looked things over to make sure they were in fine working order. I know Batgirl's parents will wisen up and come around (her dad is starting to), but at least she's got people in her corner and knows it.

Today was my second look inside the place, and I really believe Batgirl has a major find. The selling couple spent 27 years there, and you could really tell the husband took great care of the house. I kind of felt bad that he and his wife needed to sell it, but life goes on. It was becoming a lot for them to handle. I wondered to myself how I'd ever be able to be so handy, like he was, and like my dad is. I started being able to see myself in the place, with Batgirl by my side. The negative feelings from the last two weeks began to lift.

I know that's odd considering my thoughts on Saturday, but remember I am thinking aloud on this blog. Days like today, and nights like last night remind me of why I love this woman. She's standing up for herself in going through with this, and I see her confidence in this decision growing. I believe the more positive feedback she gets from other people around her, the more confidence she'll gain.

Parents Just Don't Understand

2006-11-25T11:58:00.000-05:00

I had a good, long post and somehow Blogger erased everything but the text.

Fantastic.

In a nutshell, Batgirl went against her parents advice and on Wednesday she decided to go through with the offer. Yesterday, with me by her side, she signed a purchase and sales agreement. No going back now. The closing is at the end of next month. She was exciting, hooping and hollering, hugging me. I contained my enthusiasm because I could see storm clouds fast approaching one the horizon. She withheld her decsion from her parents so they could enjoy Thanksgiving, but made the right decision to let them know last night.

The storm was a big one. In what has to be the most unnecessary act of dramatics I've ever heard two parents peform, Batgirl was battered into feeling self-doubt and guilt once again. I did not accompany her for I didn't feel it necessary to be put through a ringer and be blamed for her "disobeying." They came off as hurt, especially her mom beacause she was "left in the dark" on this reversal decision since the Monday night scene. In fact, she is so "hurt" that she wouldn't speak with Batgirl by the time she left their house.

Pardon me, but is Batgirl doing something awful here like marrying a cold-blooded murderer, or gambling away their life savings?

Meanwhile, her dad is claiming that the mortgage broker, who's been doing this job for 30 years and is heavily recommended to clients by Batgirl's realtor, contends that he miscalculated the quoted monthly payments by $600 (should Batgirl decided to go with interest only payments the first 5 years). Thankfully, Batgirl will be taking her dad with her when she goes to meet the broker on Wednesday. I tend to think the broker knows how to calculate mortgage payments since he does it for a living, how 'bout you? At least he's showing something by going with her.

Needless to say, I'm pissed about the lack of support, and as a result it's leaving Batgirl an emotional wreck. She been a roller coaster ride for two weeks. Happy one minute, sad the next. They ask her what I think about this, and she never tells them the answer she should,"He's behind me 100% because he knows this is something I really want--just like you should be." Truth is, before we met this was something she has wanted. This house came out of nowhere. She found about it when she wasn't really looking. It has nothing to do with me, except that she cares if I like it in case we decide to get married. Logically, I'd buy in to the place if we did. I do like it, especially since it makes her so happy. Why is it her parade needs to be rained on?

What's makes ME unhappy is the strain on me. On us. I spent my Friday night on the couch, waiting and waiting for hours while she was beaten down for making an adult decision that doesn't affect her family's financial well-being. We were supposed to go out to celebrate. My stomach was left in knots, and has been physically uneasy ever since the day she went to the open house two weekends ago, putting the spotlight on our future. It's definately affected our sex life, too. I noticed we don't go at it like we used to. Even on Wednesday night, which was my traditional guys night out before Thanksiving, I welcomed not having to worry about her, the house, the drama. I also had a girl heavily flirting with me at Nern's in the late night hours, to the point I fantasized about banging the shit out of her that night. I think if I really wanted to, I could have got her digits and set up a rendez-vous, but that's not me. I love my girlfriend too much. What troubles me is I was enjoying the flirting so much that I didn't leave until she announced she and Nern's cousin (who had brought her over) was leaving.

Before Thanksgiving, I started to strongly considered making financial plans to buy a ring. Now, I think I need to hold off. If decisions she and I make will somehow always affect the mental well-being of her family, then that's not a marriage I can be a part of. I do truly like her parents, but the events of these last two weeks really have changed my opinion of them. I'm so much more grateful than ever to have two parents who will stand by me when I want to make a decision, and will do whatever they can to help out when I make it.

Mini-Testosterone Tuesday

2006-11-21T20:07:00.000-05:00

Since Tuesday is under four hours away from ending (at least, in the Eastern time zone), I'll just make this short n' sweet.

As a Giants fan I couldn't be anymore disgusted than I was watching that horseshit performance last night on Monday Night Football. While I can attribute problems on defense to the plethora of injuries, last night's loss can be blamed on the offense. Eli Manning is regressing, and as a result, those around him can't make plays. I'm also hearing about the dogging by Plaxico Burress, which I missed. Can't say I'm shocked since he was a punk in Pittsburgh, had his punk moments last season with the Giants, and now this year. My question is...where the fuck is the coaching ? I said coming in to this season that if this team failed to make the postseason with this much talent, it was inexcusable and would be on the coaching staff. Memo to next year's GM: Fire Coughlin and crew if this team leaves me nothing to be excited about in January.

If you want to read more rants from equally angry fans of Big Blue, head on over to my friends at Giants 101.
I hit 7 out of 8 for this year's Major League Baseball top individual awards. My only misfire was the NL Cy Young, which went to Arizona's Brandon Webb; I picked Houston's Roy Oswalt.
Another shot of Lindsay Lohan's roast beef. I've seen her snatch so much lately that it's almost like she's my bitch on the side! Who ever said she had a "fire crotch"?
Speaking of oops, This week's Oops #1: Paris Hilton had a little too much to drink, and a little something got exposed.
So Derek Jeter lost the MVP to Minnesota's Justin Mourneau today. Think her cares? He gets to tag Jessica Biel tonight while the Twins slugger poses for media with a plaque.
This is deja vu. A year ago about this time, I was declaring R.I.P. on the Eagles' season. I think last weekend's knee injury to Donovan McNabb allows me to do it again. Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Sucks to be Drew Brees. The Saints QB throws for 500+ yards, and his team loses big to the Bengals, a team on a free fall after starting out 3-0. That's like winning a trip to Hedonism and coming home with a week's worth of masturbation highlights.
I love Sirius, and I love listening to the Playoboy Radio channel, but their game show "Playdate" is one of the biggest train wrecks of a radio show I've heard since David Lee Roth's brief run earlier this year. Host Tara Mack has an annoying voice, the scenarios they give guys to try to smooth talk a chick in are dumb, and the rules are never clear on how the hell you win. I mean, a guy goes through 2 or 3 rounds of scenarios, and in the last round a new caller gets picked up, gives a better answer, and can win the prize. Huh?
I just love how the Patriots played on a shitty turf all through their Super Bowl years. They lose two in a row, and they tear up the grass to replace it with FieldTurf.
Oops #2: Michael Richards' tirade towards two black audience members who heckled him this past Friday night. He went as far as calling them niggers repeatedly. He then goes on to David Letterman at the suggestion of his buddy Jerry Seinfeld on Monday night to apologize. At the start the crowd actually laughs at his demeanor. My prediction of what comes next: anger management/sensitivity training, because, as we all know--when a celeb fucks up, it's occurs because they need some type of therapy and just didn't know it yet.

Have a Great Turkey Day Everyone! I'm sure many of you will be travelling instead of blogging.

Lord Giveth...and Taketh Away

2006-11-20T22:28:00.000-05:00

Some time around 3pm today, I got great news form Batgirl: the seller was counter-offering to where we thought they'd go. The decision was easy for her: up the bid another $5K and the house is hers. She sounded so excited. She was getting on the horn with the mortgage broker she was referred to by the realtor, and I was having my buddy The Attorney give her a call to discuss possible closing costs. Before she proceeded, she wanted to let her parents know that this was going to happen.

Some time tonight shortly after 9pm tonight, I found out--it's not going to happen.

Batgirl just left my place a bundle of emotion. She stood her ground for some time, but eventually her parents scared her into thinking she'd go broke and she could not get her "dream" house. While I thought she did her homework to see that the monthly mortgage would fit her budget, apparently they did some math that proved to her the contrary. She now feels like a fool saying she wasted the time of the realtor, of The Attorney, of the mortgage broker, and anyone else she came across. She feels stuck, like she just can't go forward.

I'm quite pissed right now. I'm pissed she doesn't get the support from her parents. I'm pissed because I feel like the indefinite future of our relationship (are we or aren't we getting married) is keeping her in an apartment above her grandparents. I think that no matter what Batgirl wants to do, no matter the price of a house, even if it was a condo, she'd be shot down by her folks. I told her that to. I also said if the two of us were buying a house as a married couple, and it was another $100K more, they'd probably discourage it. That's when I followed up with this vow:

"I'm going to tell you right now: NOBODY is going to tell me and my wife we can't buy a house if we want to."

Even moree comical was that they discouraged her from getting a part time job delivering flowers. While it turned out to be a bad area and she won't pursue it, the woman is trying to take the time to make it work so she can be a homeowner. I can't ever picture my parents discouraging me from trying to make extra cash. In fact, they drive me night about the fact I choose not to have a side job! I'll tell you--our parents are night and day with their philosophies.

So, I'm a bit disappointed tonight for my girl. She really had her heart set on this house, but the force of her parents' influence was just too great overcome. Their remaining single child is still under their control. I hope their happy, because I can tell you right now that their daughter and her boyfriend are not.

Batgirl Takes a Big Step

2006-11-19T23:38:00.001-05:00

Batgirl has decided to take the plunge. She's taken the step forward to try and become a homeowner.

After another brief episode of unexpected and unnecessary drama concerning the subject of the house on Sunday morning, Batgirl stiffened her upper lip and made the decision to make an offer. She had taken her dad to see it on Saturday, and his opinion was that the house was a "money pit" and too much house for one person. I wasn't surprised by this, but at least she didn't come away from the viewing as upset as she was on Tuesday night when she broke the news to her parents that she may buy a house.

I agree it's a lot of house for one person, but for the price she might be paying (if the bid is accepted), it's worth the shot. It's a house we could grow into together should we decide to get married. We both want kids, so what better place to be in? I didn't see the money pit side of his point of view. With a home inspection, there should be plenty indication of whether or not the place is a Tom Hanks-Shelly Long movie in the making.

The realtor she's working with is a pretty honest guy, and he is working in conjunction with the agent who was hired by the seller. While young, he knows his shit, and gave some sound advice on the directions she could take. Even if she doesn't get the place, she at least knows she put her best foot forwared. I'm expecting that by some time tonight, she'll know if the seller refused outright, or wants to counter offer. Until then, she's making the wise decision to keep Sunday's events quiet from the parents. I warned her she should expect them to criticize the move, but remember that this is what she wants and if she's made a well-informed decision, then they can shove it. I think she's done her homework.

As for me, if she succeeds with the bid, it will mean that I need to get my ass moving on the home renovations my bro and I have been dragging our feet on. Batgirl will need a hand in getting her house ready. Lucky for her, she lives in a place rent-free right now that won't be forcing her to get out. She can do the painting/cleaning/minor cosmetic work she needs before moving in too quickly. I'd just hate to leave all the work to Batgirl, her dad, brother and brother-in-law while I deal with my obligations to my place.

I know she's scared that this could be the wrong move, but I think any time you make a purchase like this, it's a risk. I was never sure I made the right move to buy a house until the last year. My house actually helped get me out of a potentially bad financial situation early last year. I know I can't afford a house alone, but Batgirl has a lot of money saved and next fall will be getting a substantial raise. She'll be just fine if she can get through the first half of 2007 okay. The main thing here is she'll be taking a big step forward, living in a place where she won't be under someone's microscope, be able to have her dog living with her again, and most importantly, feel independence.

Nothing But Confusion

2006-11-15T19:55:00.000-05:00

I got a bit of surprise late yesterday evening when Batgirl called to tell me she was close to putting in a bid on the house we looked at on Sunday. She had been pre-approved for a mortgage under her name alone, for close to the price she was going to offer. The surprise was due to the fact a couple of days had gone by and we had been given this impression from the real estate agent that there were two bids on the house. I figured Batgirl was going to let it go by. I was glad to hear it, and the enthusiasm in her voice brought a smile to my face. I knew, deep down, Sunday was not about marriage, or someone to make her decision. She wants to move forward in life, saw a house she adored, and wanted to seize the opportunity.

We talked about what she could offer, if she should low ball a bit since the house was really not bid on yet (according to a connection she has in the same realty office as the agent we met Sunday). I reiterated to her that she needs to be 100% sure that she can handle the mortgage, on top of the insurance, taxes, and whatever else could come up. I also suggested she could try to see if they could include the closing costs in the offer, just like I did when I bought my place. I suggested she drop by and we could go through my old paperwork so she could see the process. She thought that would be a great idea.

Then she said it: "Do you think I should tell my parents before I get deep into this?"

I got a bed feeling in my gut. I questioned what the reason would be since she hadn't formally offered anything and was in the early stages. She got the ok without her dad as a co-signer, so their blessing shouldn't be necessary.

She told me she would be over after picking up a small pizza. I hurried to run an errand, than went through my files to find all the paperwork I saved from the purchasing process. Time continued to tick. Soon almost an an hour and a half had passed. I decided to call her since it was getting to be almost 9:30. She answered her cell, her tone sounding down. "Where are you?" I asked.

"I'm just leaving my parents now," she said. I could hear disappointment in her voice. She broke into tears a bit. Just as I suspected, her effort to make an adult decision was met with protest. Mainly, the protest was coming from her mom. Bascially, Batgirl and I think that this is her mom hanging on to the last child to remain under her "control," being that the other two are married. One is now a mother. I questioned out loud why she had to go over there. Of course, hearing her so upset had me concerned, and I wanted to see her anyway and told her to still come by. She agreed to.

I should have just let her call it a night, because her enthusiasm to go through my papers wained quickly. I thought the whole process would come back to me, but after 3 1/2 years, the memory was a bit fuzzy. Her mood soon became rather glum, and I couldn't have been sure if it was my lack of knowledge, the talk with her parents, the amounts of money printed on the papers, or all of the above. Or, maybe it was the fact I was so enthusiastic about helping her do this. She'd technically be doing it...by herself. I think with me appearing to be useless in guiding her through the process, it disappointed her and perhaps she felt she'd be on her own. Not to mention, she had been on the run all afternoon in getting the process going, then went to visit her new niece, and then came the emotional roller coaster caused by her parents disapproval of the news. She was run down.

I didn't know what to say or do. All I could do was tell her I loved her so much, and I would do everything I could to help her through this process--even though last night made it look like I'd do her no good. I told her that, basically, her parents will probably be the only two people who will give her shit for this decision. I reminded her that I'd be behind her, her brother and sister would, their spouses, her friends, and even my parents. Evetually, her parents will come around and not disown her because she wants to be a homeowner. I told her I want her to get this house because she wants it and it will make her happy.

Nevertheless, she was still in a shitty mood as she left my front door, and I could feel the chill. I was at a loss, and a bit confused to boot. Since she wouldn't go into what happened at her parents' earlier, I didn't know what to do or say. I had to just let her be.

I couldn't sleep. I pulled out all the cards she wrote me over these last 9+ months, and saw the same theme repeatedly: how happy I make her; how lucky she feels to have met me; how our relationship has brought different meaning. Then this one really caught my eye: how she enjoyed the unknown about what was going to happen next--how we just "go with it."

This came from a card she gave a couple of weekends ago. I wondered to myself what changed so quickly. Maybe it's her newborn neice? Maybe it's this house? Maybe its her folks? I wish I knew. All I know is, she was on my mind all day, and the future of our relationship is weighing heavily on me. I don't want to let her go. I can't picture my life without her. I really can't. Maybe I have made my mind up about whether or not she is the one, and am just too afraid to admit it.

I wish I knew.

The Talk Rears Its Head

2006-11-13T17:08:00.001-05:00

I can't apologize enough for the erratic posting, but really, when you don't have a whole lot interesting to say--or the time to post something entertaining--it's difficult.

Today was my day off. I took a vacation day because my company doesn't rollover vacation time, and since Batgirl was going to be off, I figured why not use 1 of the 4 days I have left. Little did I realize, this would be the day that her sister would finally go into labor and have her daughter! Talk about a long night. She was admitted to the hospital shortly after the Giants embaressed themselves vs. the Bears last night. I got this impression that because everyone was scrambling to the hosptial, she was going into heavy labor. Batgirl and I rushed to change into more presentable clothing, and were at the hospital by 12:30am. The clock ticked...and ticked..and ticked.

Finally, around 4:30am, it was clear to me that there was no need for me, Batgirl's entire immediate family, and her brother-in-law's parents, to even be there at this ungodly hour. Shit, even Batgirl's dad told me this was not a good idea. Her brother-in-law came down and said it was great we were all there, but it would be for quite a while before the baby was to come. I opted to leave and go catch some Z's since I lived close by, while most of the family remained behind, including Batgirl. She was really appreciative of me being there, and I felt like part of the family. Funny thing was, I think her sister going into labor may have helped a difficult development in our relationship.

Batgirl broke news to me Sunday morning that she wanted to go to an open house. Since June, she's wanted to desperately move out of her apartment since she lives above her grandparents. I knew she would value my opinion, and offered to accompany her. After I offered, I really wondered if I made the right decision. My plans for the afternoon were to go home, start making chili for our dinner during the Giants game, and do a few minor things around the house. This changed things. We picked up groceries for the chili, I mixed them up in her crock pot, and off we went. The house was over 50 years old, tucked away in a quiet neighborhood (not far from her parents' home, I add), and was well taken care of by the elderly couple who was selling it. I thought it was a nice place, but there were cosmetic and structural things about it I didn't like. Batgirl, on the other hand, she adored it. When she asked what I thought, I gave the honest answer,"It's now what I think about it, it's what you think."

Never could I imagine what this would start. We got back to her place, and she resumed some chores she had started before we left. She took her laundry down to the basement, and I could hear her crying from the kitchen. I knew right away that her stress was caused by two things: the fact she needs her dad's blessing to buy the place since she was pre-approved for a mortgage with him as a co-signer in late spring. The other would be that she was taking our future as a couple into account.

It finally happened. After 9 1/2 months, "The Talk" finally occurred. I really didn't know what to say. I have not made up my mind as far as whether or not I'm ready to get married, or if she is the one I want to marry. I can't figure out which of the two it is. Obviously, she wasn't happy with some of the things I had to say in regards to my uncertainty, and what kind of time table I was working with. I'm at a point where I think I need to be better at financial planning and take my future more serious, but have not taken the steps towards taking care of that. I also think I'm a bit selfish still, and feel it neccesary to have my personal space. Finally, the two factors I just mentioned make me unsure if I can be a good husband and father in the near future.

The basis of her frustration is she doesn't want to buy a house with her dad's name on the paperwork--she wants it to be mine. Of course, because I own a home with another person, I can't make a spontaneous decision like purchasing another house. In my opinion, neither can she. This all came down Saturday afternoon when she learned of the open house. I don't think she really has planned out how she'd put in a bid for this place, and for how much beyond asking price she would bid. She is convinced it's going to go this week. I, for one, think $300,000+ is too much for one person to handle on their own. My mortgage is over half that, and I know that I could swing it without my brother. There just isn't enough time for her to get her ducks in a row. I told her that if it was me, I wouldn't buy, even though I want her out of this living situation and into a place where she feels it's her own.

We also talked about the "friends thing" you longtime readers have read so much about. I made it clear that my friends will always be a part of my life, and will always get a portion of my time. I explained to her that in my family, I was taught you can't have your life be just your spouse. You need to have some outside interests, or else you'd kill each other. Unfortunately, her parents' marriage doesn't work that way. They don't have a lot of friends, and prefer to stay home. I know Batgirl isn't 100% like that since she likes to be out and about each weekend, but she doesn't have tons of overtures to do things from a social circle. Amazingly, we came to an understanding on this topic. Nevertheless, it all came back to where my head is at.

She made it clear: she is ready to move forward in her life. She's not complacent, whereas I seem to be. She wants me to be a part of that step, but it can only happen if I want to. The only reply I could give her was simply,"I can't put my name down on this house with you."

We eventually were able to lighten things up, although I decided she needed some time alone to blow off some steam and relax. I left for a couple of hours, but after one quarter of football, it became obvious that the afternoon's discussion still weighed heavy on her mind. The tension I felt throughout the game was one of the most uncomfortable feelings I ever had. Her expression was stoic, her replies to comments were one word answers, and she obviously was down-trodden. I opted to let it lie after her replies to the "what's wrong?" question was nothing but grins and a head shake. I knew she was emotionally spent, and her mind was still occupied over what to do about the house. I strongly considered not be spending the night. She needed to be left alone. However, I never got the chance to make my final decision. The phone call came shortly before midnight that her sister's water broke and she had been admitted to the hospital. The rest is history.

When this afternoon finally concluded, we shared many embraces in her place. She had not slept a wink, and I felt it would be best she have some private time to sleep, especially if she was going back to the hospital to see her niece up close and personal. I told her I loved her, and there was this part of me that didn't want to let go. I said to her that the last 24 hours have certainly been a roller coaster, and she apologized for blind-siding me with "The Talk." She said she probably should not have gone to the open house with the knowledge that there'd be no way for her to turn around an offer. I apologized for the stupid shit I said, and that I just wasn't prepared to have "The Talk." She replied that I was only "speaking the truth." I then admitted I hoped what we have wasn't going to be negatively affected by this; she said it wouldn't.

I don't know what it is, but I have my doubts that our relationship will be the same now. I felt a sadness when I left her at her doorstep today, though that's not an uncommon feeling after we spend a long weekend together. Thing is, I read between the lines, and the writing simply said,"30's Guy--I want to take the next step with you. Are you ready to take it with me?" I can't answer that definitively. My doubts are more about myself than her.

The experience we shared together with the birth of this baby made me see a part of life I never have. In the past, I've always just dropped by when a friend or relative has had a child, usually at their home. This time, I got to sit through the wait with the family, and see the joy in the faces of grandparents when they see their grandchiled for the first time. I saw the happiness in the eyes of a proud father who just spent 20 hours with his wife, bringing their baby girl into the world. I want to have that some day. I just wish I could figure out if I want it sooner than later.

Testosterone Tuesday (Evening Edition)

2006-11-07T21:06:00.000-05:00

A little publicized piece of news from the world of That 30's Guy: I landed NY Giants tickets for this past Sunday's unexpected squeaker vs. the Houston Texans. Guys I work with are season ticket holders, and I was caught off-guard with a ticket offer Friday morning. Naturally, it took me no time to jump on the opportunity.

I hadn't been to the Stadium since the 2004 home opener vs. Washington. It was such a different atmosphere than the road game at Atlanta a few weeks ago. On Sunday, I saw folks who drove in trucks and trailers painted in Giants-blue with the NY logo, propped up plasma screen TV 's hooked up to Direct TV dishes, or had their X-box set up so they could play Madden'07. There were a few bands, too. Oh, and not to mention Jersey girls looking so damn hot in Giants gear. What an environment!

It got better. Among the bunch of us, we had a couple of seats down in Row 1 in the corner of an endzone. Because this was my first trip with the group, they gave dibs for the first half in one of those seats. I never had been this close to the action before. I got to see Tiki Barber break a long TD run right towards us. We could hear the hits and grunts as if we were down in the action. For the 2nd half, I moved up to the other seats in the upper tier at the 50 yard line. These weren't so bad either since you could see the plays develop. Shit, though.: if I sat anywhere I would have been happier than a pig in shit!

Ah yes. NFL football on a cool November day. I can't think of many better ways to spend a Sunday.

While the Giants looked pretty flat against a bad Texans-team, I contribute that to sitting a few dinged up players like Plaxico Burress (back), and Sam Madison (hamstring) in preperation for this Sunday's huge clash with the Chicago Bears. I won't lose sight of the fact that Big Blue's two best defensive players, Michael Strahan and Osi Umenyora, are injured. I have faith Osi will play with Strahan now being out for 2-4 weeks. No matter what, I think this offense can score on this suddenly-vulnerable defense of the Bears, and I think the defense can pressure Rex Grossman enough to force him into making a few mistakes.

Now, some takes on what's what in the world of sports and entertainment.

Back in September I said I would start drinking the Cincinnati Bengal Kool-Aid. I've decided I ain't thirsty anymore.
What the hell took Britney Spears so damn long to decide that jerk Kevin Federline was no good? The damage is now done, regardless. No--I'm not talking about her bank account. She actually had the brains to have him sign a pre-nup. I'm talking about the body, and her (ahem) singing career. Here's to hoping she can be 2007's Comback Queen.
By the way, that ploy to show off the rebounding bod on Letterman last night was way too obvious.
The fact that the Miami Dolphins handed the Chicago Bears their first loss of the season some 20 years after doing it to the 1985 team freaks me out.
Memo to Patriots fans: you're team really isn't that good. You beat one team with a winning record this year, and that team was an overachieving Minnesota Vikings who lost to the hapless 49ers this weekend 9-6. Lucky you, because this week you face another overachiever coming back down to Earth this weekend in the Jets.
A true example of spin-doctoring: Faith Hill says her freak out on the CMA's the other night (you've seen the clip) was a joke. In case you missed it, the has-been country music hottie lost out to piece-o-ass in the making, Carrie Underwear, er,wood, and the camera caught her screaming,"WHAT!" in shock. Nice try, Faith. Maybe you should check in to rehab like every other celeb who gets caught fucking up.
Speaking of losing, I had what may have been my worst week picking NFL games ever: Vs. the Spread - 3 correct; Straight up - 5 correct. Now I remember why I never bet on football...or any sport for that matter.
I love this story I read about women's tennis star Elena Dementieva said that male models hired as ball boys for the WTA Championships need to concentrate on their job and not the players. Look, I don't know about you, but if I saw Maria Sharapova a few feet from me looking like this, I'd have a little problem standing up.
Come to think of it, it makes sense to hire male models to go fetch balls.
Seeing all the hot chicks in their Giants gear at the game Sunday reminded me of how I once thought I'd marry a Jersey girl whom I met at a game. This was while I lived in the Garden State. So, to the really cute girl who said hi to me when our met in the crowd: Sorry, babe. You missed me by 4 years.
When will we hear who the winners of baseball's annual awards are? In case you missed it a month ago, here were my picks: Justin Mourneau (AL MVP), Ryan Howard (NL MVP), Roy Oswalt (NL Cy Young--it's a weak crop), Johan Santana (AL Cy Young), Jim Leyland (AL Manager of the Year), and Joe Girardi (NL Manager of the Year).
On the topic of award winners, Derek Jeter getting an AL Gold Glove over the Red Sox's Alex Gonzalez was a fucking joke. At least he didn't win a ring to wear with that glove!
If you didn't get out and vote today, then you've lost the right to bitch for the next two years.

Reliving A Difficult Day

2006-11-06T21:07:00.000-05:00

Don't ask me the reason, but I thought I'd recognize that on this very day one year ago, That 30's Guy suffered what is probably the greatest heartbreak of his life.

The best part is, I didn't realize it until tonight. It's amazing how much one can grow in a year. Of course, it helps when you've met someone and are deeply entrenched a great relationship.

About this time, my boys and I were in a local sports bar. The Giants had just beaten the 49ers, and Nern was whipping my ass in Golden Tee. An hour or so after Nern dropped me off, the realization I would never hear the voice of my long distance love broke me down. My good friend Vegas called me from NYC to see how I was doing and I girly-manned out and broke down. It was the second time of the day. The first was when she broke the shocking news. We both were emotional wrecks as she explained (somewhat) why we should end our 5-month affair that spanned across a 1,000 miles. Funny thing was in spit of the distance, I nevr felt closer to anyone emotionally. We were on the phone night after night, supporting each other when our jobs wore us down, bringing a smile to the other's face, and even engaging in the occasional "conjugal" conversation. Then, when the long 3-4 week wait was over, we'd share a long weekend together, almost like we were a couple sharing an apartment.

Eventually, it all became too much for her. She sensed I loved her, and something or someone convinced her she didn't love me. She ended it one week after she flew out to see me. It cut me like I'd never been cut before. I knew I'd bounce back, but the question was when? I thought I got my answer a week after the big dump, when I headed to NYC for "Brewtopia"--an annual beer-tasting convention. Vegas invited me down to forget about things, and I was introduced to his girlfriend's single friend. By 2am that night, I was on my way to her apartment with visions of her D's cups smooshing my face. Except, it didn't happen. I opted to not go through it. My mind was 1,000 miles away.

The healing process began, and within a three more weeks, I decided to "go for it" and met a younger girl at an alumni function for my college. I took a line out of Risky Business and said"What the fuck?" I got a number, and by the end of January I had a New Year's Eve date and we were rocking the walls of a hotel room in Groton, CT after mauling each other on the dance floor of the party we attended.

I never saw what came next, though. Batgirl came next. We were set up by, of all people, my parents. The fling with the young girl ended abruptly a few weeks after New Year's, by her choice no less, and I once again said, "What the fuck?" I met this unknown woman, and nine months later, I'm very much in love. What's best is she is in love with me. We came along at a time when we both were very jaded, and we've helped each heal and move on to embrace our relationship.

Still the scar from the wound caused by my heartbreak last November 6 is very much present. I wear it like a badge. Reason being, I learned how to love during that 5 month long-distance relationship. I learned what it's like to be involved with a woman, and not a little girl. I also appreciate the access we have to each other's life. I value every laugh I hear, every memory we make week after week, every emrbace we share. Sure, the ride has had more bumps than in the beginning, but it's how we handle it that speaks volumes. So far, I say we've passed with flying colors.

I don't know my ex is up to now. I know she still lives in the same city. I think she actually sent a letter to another blogger seeking advice recently(the background info and other details were too uncanny). Regardless, I look back fondly on that time we spent together, and I truly hope she has been able to figure out how to let someone into her heart. She showed me the way to, and for that I am grateful to have known her.

Another Will Bite The Dust

2006-11-01T00:24:00.000-05:00

It's been a week since I was able to sit down at my home computer and do a post for you. Unfortunately it is nearly midnight and I need to gets me some sleep. Really quick though...

Big news from the last week is that my longtime pal, Master K, finally decided to ask his girlfriend of the last two years, Shep, to marry him. I got the call on Friday night that he was going to do it the next day. A part of me was happy for him, but another part of me was just...numb. The cold relationship between his fiance and my girlfriend tempered my enthusiasm. It has me in a tough position. While Shep has never deliberately given me attitude, I did notice her demeanor towards Batgirl when we celebrated Master K's 30th. In fact, not long after we arrived at their condo, she sort of went into hiding and later made little effort to welcome me, at the very least. I had to approach her.

In addition, I have heard from my very good friend, Ren, that Master K's stepdad (a good man who has been a second father to K) questions the motives of his future daughter-in-law. When you compound that with the fact Master K's mom does not have the best of relationships with Shep, it's hard to really get too excited. I know there is a part of her who wants to go back to Chicago (where she's from and where the two met), although those cries to go home have subsided since the couple purchased their condo in NH. My friend's homesickness--and great job offer--was ultimately what brought the two back so he would be closer to his family and friends. The talks about going back to Chi-town led to Shep and Mama K to have a showdown a time ago, according to K's sister. Since then, their relationship has not been the best.

Of course, with the aid of alcohol, Batgirl got pretty emotional about the news of the pending engagement once I hung up the phone. I can't figure out why, but I think part of it was because 2007 is now shaping up to be another year with events & weddings: my cousin in June, and possibly this one. The feelings towards the bride compounds the problem. She wanted to know how it is I can let my friend make this mistake (in her eyes). My response was simply, it's not my decision to make, nor have I seen her do anything to harm my friend. I have only the opinions of others, including Batgirl's.

So now, with the likelihood I am going to have a role in this wedding, and there will no doubt be events coming up like engagement parties and who knows what in the near future, I certainly have a juggling act on my hands. I never wanted to do this, but I think I'm going to have to have a heart-to-heart with my old pal about the obvious tensions between our loves, and how it's going to be handled. I know Batgirl has discouraged this idea for it may make matters worse. Thing is, Master K has been a good friend to me for over 20 years; almost like a brother. This is a major event in his life, and I want to be there to support him. On the other side of the coin, I'm a bit insulted by the unjustified treatment my girl gets from the bride-to-be, and those words of others can't help but make me wonder if this woman really has the devotion and proper motives to be a spouse to my friend.

Anyone else ever been in a predicament like this?

Testosterone Tuesday (Evening Edition)

2006-10-24T19:11:00.000-04:00

Today was a great day to be a Giants fan!

A day after Big Blue put a whooping down on The 'Boys in their house, the New York Giants appear to finally have their act together, and look like the team we thought they'd be in the preseason. The defense was ferocious and opportunistic. The offense, lead by Tiki Barber's 100-yard effort, controlled the game. Eli was hitting Plaxico Burress and Jeremy Shockey at will. Even Tom Coughlin could do no wrong when he challenged a fumble call early on against Eli Manning, and got the reversal, though it was the wrong call. Of course, nothing can go exactly the way we Giants fans would like it. Lavar Arrington, who finally looked like the stud linebacker we hoped he could be when he was signed, tore his Achilles tendon and is lost for the year...and possibly his career. It's too bad because I noticed a drop in the defense's intensity when he left the game in the 2nd quarter.

Now it is on to a three-game homestand in the Meadowlands, with this Sunday's game being against the Tampa Bay Bucs (winners of two straight) and Tiki's twin brother Ronde. I love the G-men's chances of making it four in a row as they face a rookie QB, and a team that I think is playing above their heads right now after upsets of the Bengals and Eagles.

Then, after what I hope will be a demolition of the Houston Texans the following week, The Giants host the (currently) undefeated Chicago Bears for their stiffest test of the season. Yours truly has a chance to go to this marquee matchup that has become the first game of the season NBC used their flex option; instead of a 1pm game, I may be freezing my ass off at 8:30pm November 12. Let's hope those tickets come through. Now, onto more guy-talk.

Bill Parcells doomed his team when he benched Drew Bledsoe mid-game. Sure, Tony Romo looked great in preseason action, and last week in mop-up duty against the Texans. But, that was preseason. Last week was the lowly Texans. Bledsoe is always an INT and sack waiting to happen, so should it have been any surprise? I don't see how "The Tuna" can go back to Drew after demoting him in front of a national audience. Looks like the Eagles are all that's left to fear in the NFC East.
Hey Dallas fan: you got what you asked for (Romo). Now go back in the corner and be quiet.
One week after the world rips Michael Vick, he goes out and throws 4 TD passes and get his team a huge win at home against the Steelers. Goes to show you: the sun shines on a dog's ass every now and then, don't it?
I guess Kenny Rogers' performance this postseason (23 scoreless innings) brings new meaning the term "filthy stuff."
Let me get this straight--the NHL season has started? I didn't even notice.
Enough cut-away shots on the sideline of Terrell Owens bitching. All of us have had enough of this locker-room cancer and his antics. Lets concentrate on what's happening on the field.
A pet peeve: the amount of fantasy football articles that appear on your league home page, and hurt your chances of making a trade. Case in point: I own Randy Moss on my 1-5 (soon to be 1-6) team, and he's on a hot streak. I think he'll cool off. I want to move him while his stock his high. No thanks to CBS Sportsline's Dave Richard today, he lists 3 reasons why Moss can't keep this up. Thanks, Dave; now how do I expect to get max value and try to salvage my season?
Again, I plead: producers of ESPN Monday Night Football--please stop with the in-game interviews!!!
You know it wasn't meant to be for your fantasy team this season when your #1 pick misses 5 weeks, you lose to a team that had 3 zeroes one week, and lose to another team where two of its players set milestones in the same day.
Holy shit. Would you look at the rack on Scarlett Johannson! Here I was thinking that cleavage she displayed earlier this year was the product of a push-up bra.
You can officially stick a fork in the Arizona Cardinals, and the career of head coach Dennis Green.
Is is gay if you carve a pumpkin with your girlfriend while NFL games are on TV?
After watching the Redskins lay down and die against the Colts yesterday, I think back to my post in September where I wondered where the preseason hype about them came from.
I love how everyone second-guess Willie Randolph for not bunting over the two runners in Game 7 of the NLCS, and opting to pinch hit with Cliff Floyd so he could "swing away." Had Floyd done it, Willie would have been called "a genius"--a term being used way too generously when Jim Leyland and Tony LaRussa are discussed.
Can we stop all this talk about how the San Diego Chargers are the best team in the NFL? I never bought into that concept in the first place. Mark my words: the best team is the Colts.
I saw Flags of Our Fathers over the weekend. It taught me a lot about that famous photo at Iwo Jima. I recommend all who care about our country's history to go see it. If you love war movies for the violence, I promise the battle scenes will more than satisfy your lust for gore.
If these are the final months of Tiki Barber's career, than I urge all football fans to enjoy the farewell tour of one of the NFL's classiest players. I'm not just saying that because he's my favorite player on my favorite team. I'm saying it because it is true.
How old is Carmen Electra? These photos show she can still make a guy say "OH MY GOD!"
While it's great for those of you who don't have Direct TV and the NFL Sunday Ticket that the NFL is using a "flex" schedule to put better games in prime time, it inconveniences fans who travel to see the teams play. Case in point, I may be getting my Giants-Bears tix simply because the move to the night game is causing co-workers who have season tickets to pass them up due to travel, the late night it will cause, the cold, etc. Sure, hardcore fans won't let these factors deter them, but if one has to fly and get a hotel, this causes a problem.
Do yourself a favor and take advantage of the free 2-day online trial of Howard Stern's Sirius channels on Wednesday and Thursday of this week. If you loved Howard when he was on "free" radio, you won't believe what you've been missing. Things like original programming geared towards Howard fans, uncensored radio talents like Bubba the Love Sponge and Scott Ferrell. Even if you don't like Howard, there all the NFL games, Playboy Radio, commercial-free music channels for lovers of all types of music. I'm hooked, and rarely ever listen to local broadcast radio. I bet you'll be signed up for Sirius by Christmas if you give this trial a shot.
Speaking of Howard, Brooke Hogan, the daughter of Hulk Hogan, made an appearance on his show yesterday. She's promoting her debut album, "Undiscovered," making the media rounds. She's not a bad singer, but I'm gonna just say it: I don't care about her voice; this chick is a prime piece of tail in the making (she's only 18).

The Roller Coaster Ride

2006-10-21T10:42:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I know I don't update like I used to, but why ramble on about nothing when there is nothing good to talk about?

With Atlanta nothing but a distant memory (thank God), I'm gladly going to enjoy the finer things home offers, like beautiful Autumn scenery, cool Halloween events, and decent weather. Batgirl and I are going to spend some quality time together today. A week ago, I wasn't sure about Us, though.

Upon our return from the trip (like, I'm talking within an hour), we sat down at my place and had a long discussion about us. She kind of wanted to know where my mind is at. I thought the talk was heading in the direction of my thoughts on marriage, but it really wasn't about that. It was more about all the running around we've been doing over the previous 4 weekends, and she wanted to know if this is what life with me would be all about. You know, going off at my friends' every beck and call.

As my loyal readers know, my girlfriend isn't blessed with a lot of friends. When she was married in her early 20's, she made the mistake many people who get married at a young afe make: they "outgrow" their single friends. Years later, her marriage crumbled and she was left with nothing but a select-few friends and her family. Years after the divorce, I come along--the guy with 20 best friends around the Northeast. It's a lot to take on.

I understood where she was coming from. She was tired from all the running around we've done since June. Admittedly, so am I. Even though I still can't understand why it's a problem for her guy to have a special place in the heart of a lot of people, I got the picture that we need to spend more time together--alone. Our lives have been nothing but birthday parties, weddings and family functions since we got serious. I can see that the silly arguments with her parents, the running around on my friends' accounts, and the comedy of errors from last weekend had just worn her out. I actually thought we were going to end things during that talk. I got a bit choked up as I realized how much I love her and have trouble picturing my future without her. Thankfully, it didn't come down to that. She broke down herself as the frustration of appeasing her parents vs. her own desires weighed heavily on her. She admitted that for all the bullshit we went through this past weekend, she was sad it was over because now we have to deal with the "sleeping over" issue that her folks aren't cool with.

I'm not sure yet how we'll handle that, but what we did have to handle within 24 hours of that talk was another birthday celebration invite. My good friend, The Attorney, called me Monday night to tell me his parents were hosting a 30th birthday dinner for him on Wednesday, and he was inviting a small group that obviously would include me and Batgirl. I cringed. I debated if I should tell about the invite, or just go on my own. I knew that if I didn't ask her to join, and she found out, there'd be hell to pay because it would look bad for her not being there. On the other hand, I didn't want to deal with the long talk that would ensue as a result of another 30's Guy's Friends-centered activity.

I opted to tell her Tuesday night. What ensued was another long talk. This time though, I became agitated. I wasn't the compassionate guy from the night before. I sounded off about how fucked up it is that it's a problem someone wants to honor one of his best friends. Among other guests was going to be there was Nern, fresh off his passing the bar exam. There was reason to celebrate. I reminded her that when we started dating, I commented often how 2006 would be one big party due to all the friends I have who were turning 30. Just because she didn't think turning 30 was a big deal, doesn't mean friends who like reasons to get together shouldn't celebrate it. I assured her that 2007 would not be like this, and I firmly believe that. It's been exhausting, both physically and financially. I only know of one wedding for next year, as opposed to the five we've had this year, and my sister's 21st is the one big birthday. At first mention, Batgirl had declined to go, but then she changed her mind after hearing me spew my venom. I think she began to see my point, and that prompted the about face.

In the end, we had a great time Wednesday night. I knew that she would enjoy herself because the group would not include Master K's girl. I now see Shep as the Terrell Owens of my friends' significent others: when she is around, I sense tension. When she's not, Batgirl feels welcome and has conversations with the girls without me being around to moderate. Shit, she even gathered some books together to give to Angel, Nerns' wife, and drove them over to the school where she teaches the other day! As a thank you, Angel gave her a bottle of wine on Wednesday. These are the folks that have gotten to know Batgirl, and vice versa, and I hope in time they will do everything they can to make her feel more comfortable. Batgirl even went as far as to say to me she was glad she came to the dinner. I saw her in a better mood than I'd seen her in weeks. It was great to hear the cheer in her voice, to see the smile, and see her openly speak to all who were at the table. She even helped The Attorney's mom clear dishes and clean up in the kitchen.

Relationships are truly not easy--especially the long-term ones, and I know it's a big adjustment to incorporate someone into your life. I acknowledge that as a perennial single guy, I need to start slowing down all this running around and consider more private time to be with my girl, consider what she wants. These aren't her friends, and it will take a very long time before she can ever consider them warm aquaintances. In years past, I've ALWAYS accepted invitations to functions, but that was because I didn't have someone else to consider. Now I do. I'm looking forward to it being just us the remainder of this weekend, and I can sense she is excited about it too.

10 Subtle Hints That A Trip Was Not a Great Idea

2006-10-18T12:01:00.000-04:00

I'm sure a minority of the internet audience out there would like to know about the football weekend down in Atlanta. Naturally, the Giants victory over the Falcons was one of the true highlights, coupled with the final evening in my hotel room with my girl. That was basically about it. To make matters worse, my day back at work yesterday really sucked. It made me regret missing just one measly day. When I considered the emotional toll it took on me, and to a bigger extent, Batgirl--it almost wasn't worth it. Away we go...

A week before departure, you find out you've been displaced from a downtown hotel, to one that is 12-15 miles outside of the city.
Your bottle of cologne gets tossed in a trash can at the security check because it exceed 4 oz.
You don't have time to stop and get a bottle of water before boarding to ease your hangover due to the security hold up.
It takes a half-hour for the hotel-provided shuttle service to pick you up at the airport even though the guest service person told you 8-10 minutes.
You get tailed for 4 or 5 blocks by two shady characters who first attempted to come off as friendly before falling back behind you.
The MARTA service agent sends you to the wrong stop, which then leads you to take not one but two wrong turns to find the bar scene.
You get charged $10.00 by a cabbie to take you what is probably a mile to two at most.
The MARTA train alert says your train is arriving, even though it's on the northbound side of the platform, but the marquee on the cars reads "airport." Turns out, it should have read some thing else and the right trains is pulling in across the way as you leave.
Once you make it back to the MARTA stop at the airport, you find your shuttle drive sleeping in the driver's set.
You manage to land an earlier flight, but when you get to your gate at the furthest end of the airport with hands full of food, you discover the gate has been moved two concourses back, and you have maybe 20 minutes to make it. Oh--and you need to take a train to get there. That's how far.

Needless to say, there was a bit of tension between Batgirl and I all day on Monday, but the good part is we aired out a lot about what's happening in the relationship upon returning. It's just too bad the final highlight was landing an early flight home for only an extra $25.00 each. Thanks for the birthday gift Mom, Dad, Sis and Bro! (Shhh...no one tell them what really went on)

Testosterone Tuesday

2006-10-17T19:03:00.000-04:00

The trip to the ATL is a not-so-distant memory. I'm back home and back to life as I know it.

Thank God.

Atlanta was not Batgirl's and my cup of tea. When I went there four years ago with Capt. Paul and his brothers, we spent most of our time up in Buckhead where we had our hotel. Our nights out were just a short walk away. Plus, Paul knew where he was going after spending a great deal of his military time there. We had a blast. This time around, even with an impressive Giants victory, the weekend was nothing but a big uphill battle. As much fun as we had at the Georgiadome on Sunday afternoon, our experiences around the game were not so enjoyable. I'll get into it maybe later this week when I have time to digest it all. In the meantime, kudos to Big Blue for rising to the challenge of being down 14-3 just minutes into the second half to score 24 unanswered points and make a statement to the NFC that they are finding their way.

Now, some other topics I've digested.

If the Giants want to be a true Super Bowl contender before the year is out, stop showing up late to games. In their three wins, the offense has taken the first half off, only to spring to life midway into the third quarter. My heart can't take this shit every week.
Finally, will T.O. shut his big trap about not being used enough by the Cowboys?
Sorry Cubs fans, but I just don't think this version of Lou Pinella is going to solve your problems.
I may be in the minority, but I thought Jennifer Aniston got a boob job before Friends ever went off the air.
After seeing "The Human Highlight Reel" in person Sunday, I have just one thing to say to Falcons fans about Michael Vick: QB's are supposed to be able to throw the ball at some point.
I'm going to tip my hat to Verbal D and acknowledge she was right about the Detroit Tigers. I was wrong. They're going to their first World Series since 1984, and I just don't see how either the Mets or the Cardinals have what it takes to beat them.
It's time for Tiki Barber to finally get his recognition as one of the top 4 backs in football. I watched the guy put his team on his back and carry them to victory. Even though he didn't score any TD's, he did all the dirty work that helped the Giants beat the Falcons. I'm damn proud a classy athlete like him is on my team.
Speaking of class, the University of Miami's football team has never had it (at least, for as long as I can remember). While the Florida International team shares equal blame for Saturday night's disgusting brawl, it's just no shock the Hurricane's band of punkasses and thugs got in the middle of such a controversy.
On the heels of the brawl, Miami U alum Lamar Thomas--who was an analyst for Comcast Sports Southeast's coverage of "The U"--got canned because he condoned the actions of his alma mater as it unfolded live on TV. My point supported.
Wait, the 2006-2007 NBA season has started?
The MARTA in Atlanta has got a long way to go before it can compete with the New York or Chicago subway systems.
To the airport security guy who confiscated my bottle of cologne Batgirl gave me for my birthday from my carry-on luggage: Thank you. You saved the lives of thousands of Americans.
I'm now convinced the Raiders are on their way to an 0-16 season.
So, Shaun Alexander is going to be out 2 more weeks? Great. Here I was getting excited about my fantasy teams first win of the season this week. Getting him back would have been like making a trade to boost my team's slim chances of making the playoffs.
Seeing the Arizona Cardinals nearly upset the Chicago Bears last night reminds me of two things: how great the NFL is, and how you should never think a game is over.
If you're a Cardinals fan this morning, you have to be feeling like it's hopeless. Here's a hint: it is.
I'm more than happy to see a resurgence in Vida Guerra photos circulating around the internet. What an ass!
Memo to Monday Night Football producers: enough with the broadcast-booth visitors. I tune in to watch a football game, not listen to hot air having nothing to do with the game.
I got a great deal of satisfaction watching thousands of Falcons fans abandon their team with over four minutes left in the Giants game. It was even more satisfying when the Georgiadome sounded like Giants Stadium-South when the clock hit all zeroes, the chants of "Let's Go Giants" rising to the rafters. Great showing on the road, G-men fans!
Sometimes relationships get tested when you least expect it. After the last three days, I think the next couple of weeks will be a good indication of whether That 30's Guy and Batgirl are meant to be. One thing I want to tell the guys out there is, if you love the woman you're with and value what you have, don't be afraid to talk it through.

Ready for Some Football

2006-10-13T18:00:00.000-04:00

Countdown to

vs.
2 days

This weekend's big game between my New York Giants and the Atlanta Falcons seemed so far away back on July 22nd when my brother and sister revealed what my family's birthday gift to me was. Now, in another 24 hours I'll be in Atlanta, GA. Then, on Sunday, Batgirl and I will be taking on the NFL experience in the Georgiadome. This gonna be awesome!

I haven't been to a G'nts game since the home opener at Giants Stadium in 2004 when Big Blue ran roughshod over the Redskins. Being surrounded by fans who share the same passion for your team is extremly exciting, especially for a guy like me who lives in an area where my team is not the local team of choice. This will certainly be a different experience in that I'll be surrounded by thousands of Falcon fans in the stadium. I'm sure I'll get some friendly razzing as I make my way through the stands to my nosebleed seats, wearing my Tiki Barber #21 jersey. It's all part of the fun. It's after the game that could be a nightmare.

Seeing your team win in a visiting stadium in any sport is VERY gratifying. Walking out of there if your team loses is humiliating. If you've been through it, you know what I'm talking about. As a Red Sox fan who's watched his team lose multiple times at Yankee Stadium, I can tell you it sucks. I'm hopeful that last weekend's stellar defensive showing by the G-men is a precursor of what's to come, because if the team who got torched the first three weeks shows up, Batgirl is going to have a long day with me!

Besides the football game, I'm hoping Batgirl and I get to live it up. We're staying in a modern, state of the art hotel. We've decided we're going to wing it as far as the nightlife and restaurants. That's how we've always conducted our dates since we met, although there are attractions we hope to see. I'm definitely aiming towards a Georgiadome tour shortly after we check in.

Unlike my last trip here in 2002 when I was with Capt. Paul and his two brothers, I don't expect our nighttime activity to be as wild. I mean, ogling chicks who are dancing on bar tops would be great, but you all know Batgirl would not go for that. Oh well. I'll just have to get her drunk so she'll do that for me in the hotel room!

Have a great weekend everyone. GO GIANTS!!!!

(Belated) Testosterone Tuesday

2006-10-11T20:52:00.000-04:00

In light of today's events in New York City, I felt it more appropriate to show respect to a fallen athlete rather than go on an ignorant rant about sports, sex and (un)popular culture. As a huge sports fan with the utmost respect not only for the players I cheer, but for those who oppose my beloved teams, I thought I'd say a few words about the tragic death of NY Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle.

My deepest sympathies go out to Lidle's wife and son for their loss. Sure, as a Red Sox fan I'd be vehemently booing this guy if he took the mound at Fenway Park against my team. At the end of the day, though, we're all on the same team. It's only a uniform that draws the jeers.

Rest in peace, Cory Lidle.

Let Us Be Happy

2006-10-10T00:02:00.000-04:00

I know I'm a bit late, but I'm sure the couple dozen of you who read the site must be wondering what became of the weekend. Well, to begin, my office won the intra-company softball challenge 2 games to 1. I had three AB's as a DH, reaching on two fielder's choices, and later fly out to right field.

After we got blasted in game one, our "coach" shuffled up the starting lineup and the defense played better, and we scraped out the win. Unfortunately for me, I saw little action for the day, especially that second, must-win game (no AB's) and had to leave before the third game. My right hammy was tightening up badly, and I was not about to push to get in knowing I could fuck my week up with a limp. It was off to NH with Batgirl I went, and the weekend became a roller coaster ride.

Now, some time ago, I promised myself I wouldn't divulge a lot of personal info. That's especially the case when it comes to my relationship, and the main story of my weekend revolved around that. Couple of observations and comments would be appropriate.

First, it's a fucking shame when a couple of girls who are involved with two longtime friends can't seem to get along. I saw the chill factor between Batgirl and Master K's girl Shep upon our arrival to their condo. It's amazing when you see the embrace and genuine warmth between myself and my good friend, then see the other end of the spectrum when our two girls just barely say hello.

My issue with Shep is here we are, making the trip up to celebrate my friend's 3oth, and when we walk in we fell frigid, almost awkward. It seemed like The Attorney's girlfriend and Nern's wife are caught in the middle because they both seem to really get along with Batgirl whenever Shep is not around. Even during the party while Shep was absent for a long period of time, the three girls mingled well and shared lots of laughs. Batgirl is making the effort and acknowledges she should do better, but I just don't see it from my buddy's future fiance. To see how on edge and nervous my girlfriend was on the drive up was not fun, and very uncomfortable for me. I almost felt bad that she was coming. Still, in the end, she told me the party turned out better than she expected, and I was glad to hear that.

My second opinion is this: parents need to butt out when their kids get to a certain age. Batgirl's parents have really beaten her down emotionally this last week regarding how we spend our weekends, and it's guilting her into this state where she is a wreck. It's the 21st century, and both people involved are adults in their 30's. I almost feel like I know my girl better than the people who brought her up. I'm beginning to see signs of meddling. As a guy whose folks are semi-liberal, and believe in letting their son be his own man, I can't stomach that. I fear what such outside influence will do to my relationship and the way we operate together. To change what has made it work for nearly 9 months because of what other people want is not right.

What bugs me the most is that between Batgirl and me, we have no issues. We are extremely happy together, just the two of us with little outside distraction. It unquestionable that we've found a match. The funny thing is the bumps in the road have been caused by outside elements. After being on edge all day Sunday, I made it clear: this shit has to stop. What needs to start is put what we want in front of others. Batgirl needs to handle things with more backbone, and less concern about what mom and dad think. I certainly don't worry about what they'll think if I sleep with someone. Isn't it amazing how people like to throw a wrench in the works when other people are happy?

The countdown is on for Hot-Lanta...NY Giants vs. the Atlanta Falcons. It will be nice to get away for three days, see the Giants emerge as the NFC power I believe they can be, while at the same time exploring a relatively new (to her) city together.

It's when we get back that may dictate our future.

("Testosterone Tuesday" is making an appearance on late Tuesday/ Early Wednesday. Let's see what happens to Joe Torre in the meantime.)

Giving You The Finger

2006-10-06T19:51:00.000-04:00

Sorry folks. I've been on the DL, the IR, and any other injury list initial you can think of. I busted up the top of my middle finger while fielding a grounder on a bad hop this past Tuesday night at softball practice. As a result, the entire top third of my middle finger is purple and looks like it's going to explode. For a couple of days, it looked like I'd be giving everyone the finger while having my at-bat if it didn't heal in time. I couldn't even squeeze a breast with my right hand fully without the finger popping up, never mind a bat! Needless to say, it's tough to type quickly and comfortably. I'm improving, but not enough to put up a real post. Too bad cuz I had something to say.

Anyhow, the big intra-company softball challenge is tomorrow. I will be a bench-warmer, which is expected when you can barely field a pop-up cleanly. Then, Batgirl and I head to Master K's 30th birthday bash. I think I'm more nervous about that, than the game. Fingers crossed Batgirl holds-up ok. Enjoy the weekend.

Testosterone Tuesday

2006-10-03T06:53:00.000-04:00

Well, it's October. I think. At least, that is what the calender says.

For the first time since 2002, Red Sox Nation will not be able to see any playoff magic. The odds of that happening died a long time ago. Sure, last year's sweep at the hands of the White Sox wasn't all that enjoyable, but it was still playoff baseball. It's too bad because the last three Octobers--especially 2004--were quite the ride. It was extremely depressing to tune in to yesterday's rain-shortened game to see nearly empty seats in Fenway Park on a rainy day in a worthless game. On the mound was the likes of Dervan Hansack, and not Curt Schilling pitching in a do-or-die/ must-win game to get into the postseason. You even go to the Red Sox website and there is no talk about tomorrow; there is talk about where they go from here. Depressing.

I really do feel for fans of teams like the Royals, Devil Rays, and Brewers who just don't even know what it is like to have your team get a chance, no matter how remote, at winning a World Series. I guess I can't complain since I'm among that group of baseball fans fortunate enough to know that each offseason, my team's front office will do everything it can to ensure the team can make a run at contending. Then again, if the Red Sox brass have another winter like the one we experienced last year, I may as well just sleep through summer in hopes the Giants will get it right in 2007.

I've had more than my fill of T.O. Last week starts with the talk about whether or not he'll play against the Titans since he was recoving from a broken finger. It then takes a turn for the worse when it's reported he tried to drug himself to death with painkillers. It then takes another turn and, with a smile, he sets the record straight that he was mixing pills and had a bad reaction. It then culminates with him playing Sunday, and it's later revealed a sex tape is out on the internet of him and two girls where he gets a Dirty Sanchez.
Oops. Sorry. That last part was Dustin "Screech" Diamond. With all the T.O.,talk, I thought he found his way into that story, too.
After seeing some recent photos of her partying in Vegas, I'm going to say what I believe 1 out of every 3 hot-blooded and horny American male is really thinking, but afraid to admit: I'd bang Paris Hilton in a heartbeat.
My upset special of the MLB playoffs: The San Diego Padres stun the St. Louis Cardinals. A small part of me wants to take them over the Mets, too, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
To all you Pedro Martinez-lovers who ripped the Red Sox for letting Greedy Petey walk last season because he wanted a 4-year deal: how's your hero looking now?
I was just as surprised as anyone--including Patriots fans--to see New England lay a serious smackdown on the Bengals in their house. I think that game proved two things: The Bungles, er, Bengals are not quite in the elite yet, and two, there are such things as emotional letdowns after a team gets a big win (the Bengals beat their rivals, the Steelers, last weekend).
The suspension of the Titans' Albert Haynesworth was fair. What he did was disgusting, and it just puts another black eye on what will be a miserable season in Nashville. That said, Head Coach Jeff Fisher would be best served to move on and coach a team that also wears blue and needs to get tougher in the Northeast next season.
That el foldo by the Detrot Tigers down the stretch came a couple of months later than I thought we'd see. The Yankees are lucky thet will catch the Tiggers at this point in the season, and not when they were at their peak. Yanks take their playoff series in four, all the way to the World Series.
Kudos to the Twins for surviving a dreadful start to sneak past Detroit and win the AL Central.
Speaking of the Twinkies, I'm going with Justin Mourneau, and not his teammate Joe Mauer, as AL MVP--but not by much. On a team that was devoid of impact hitters for so long, Mourneau fulfilled his promise in 2006. Mauer, in the meantime, won the AL batting title over Derek Jeter, which in my book gets big points. All the experts who favor Jeter over these two players need to just look at the Yanks lineup and see why you can't justify his selection as an MVP. Plus, I had Mourneau on my fantasy baseball team.
Can I get a do-over on my first ever 0-4 fantasy football team? I lost to a team this week that had THREE zero's in the lineup. U-G-L-Y.
My hat goes off to Trot Nixon, who came up in the Red Sox farm system to become one of the clubs most beloved players. While I was never a huge fan of him, I always knew what to expect from Trot year in, year out: a lot of effort, solid leadership, and a trip or two to the DL. Wherever he ends up, he'll become a fan favorite there, too. When he plays.
If I had my way, Mark Loretta and Alex Gonzalez would remain with the Red Sox, Manny Ramirez would be dealt, and the money saved from shipping his ass out could bring in Jason Schmidt, Barry Zito, or Eric Gagne, or a combination of any two.
How luck am I? The hottest girl in the office was moved next to my desk. Too bad she's dumb as rocks.
I'm psyched. We are just one night away from the season premiere of Lost. I can't wait to see how hot Evangeline Lilly is looking!
To Miami Dolphins fan, I know the disappointment you're feeling now.
My choices for the other of baseball's 2006 top award winners: Ryan Howard (NL MVP), Roy Oswalt (NL Cy Young--it's a weak crop), Johan Santana (AL Cy Young), Jim Leyland (AL Manager of the Year), and Joe Girardi (NL Manager of the Year).
Say what you want about the Jets, but they sure as hell are showing me a lot more than I expected to see from them in 2006.
A moment of silence please. One of my biggest celebrity crushes, Amanda Peet, is not only pregnant, but getting married to some screenwriter. One of my favorite photos is one with my arm around Amanda at a WB party back in 2000. If only I had game back then...
Am I the only one NOT surprised to hear the likes of Miguel Tejada, Brian Roberts and Roger Clemens are being accused of taking performance enhancement drugs?
Did you see where Eva Longoria has "amicably split" from Tony Parker? What was a hot piece of American tail doing with a French guy anyway?

Good Friends, Good Times, Another Turns 30

2006-10-02T06:00:00.000-04:00

I knew 2006 would be one big party with so many friends hitting the big 3-0. This past weekend it was Tall Paul's turn.

It was great being able to see everyone from college for a second consecutive weekend. Some of the best times of my life have been shared with this group. Even though there were a few significant people absent, the majority were still on hand. TP was very surprised, and so genuinely touched that people like Batgirl and myself made the long trip out a week after Gian's wedding. Being that Batgirl is an outsider to this crew, she remarked to me how clear it is that we value these friendships. She laughed about how long it takes for us to say goodbye to each other every time we've had a special occasion. She calls it,"constipated goodbyes." Funny term, and true! I think we counted Tall Paul saying goodbye to us at about three times.

This place was fantastic. We had open bar, a pretty extensive menu, and a beautiful garden out back. There were a lot of laughs to go along with it. Our friend "Kid" got up and did a funny speech about how he met TP at the start of freshman year, and reflected how long the frienship has endured. While a little long, the speech was fun to listen to.

I was extremely encouraged by how well Batgirl has adjusted to the group of college friends. The real test, though, is next weekend at Master K's party. I've always been confident that Batgirl would be comfortable in the company of the college friends, but it's with the local friends whom I think she will need more time to adjust. While she is willingly coming up with me, and is even volunteering to drive so I can freely enjoy myself, I know I'll need to keep an eye on her to make sure she's not standing off to the side by herself. She and Nern's wife Angel have seemed to be gettig a little chummier, but I don't trust Angel as the type who'll invite Batgirl into the conversation with the other girls. I'll have to see how it goes.

Finally, on our way back we stopped for magarita's in Mystic, CT. I never really spent time there before, but it seemed like a really nice place. It's on the coast, and both Batgirl and I would like to live in close to the ocean at some point in our life. As I start to consider a future that includes Batgirl, perhaps that would be place to consider moving to. It seemed peaceful, and a little bit of a throwback to the way things used to be in New England. There wasn't this glut of chain stores and restaurants, just your basic "Mom-and-Pop" shops up and down a bustling Main St.

Ah, that's a long time away, but at least something worth thinking about other than my shitty 8-fucking-A.M. conference call to start my week Monday morning.

Our House?

2006-09-29T00:07:00.000-04:00

It hasn't been an eventful week, or at least one worth discussing in an open forum. Just not that interesting. Besides still trying to feel my way through work, I've officially been placed on the bench for our inter-office softball game in two weeks. I fielded much better last night at "practice," but the aluminum bat wasn't quite making an impression on my co-workers. Ah well. What can you expect from a guy who hasn't played softball since high school, and played little baseball prior to that? Anyhow, tonight I want to talk about thoughts I've been wrestling with in the last week, and it was brought on by a fellow-blogger's post today.

I'm not sure if a majority of you are familiar with the blog, I Am, Therefore I Date. I've been a long time reader, and it is in fact one of the blogs that inspired me to start my own way back in January 2005. I've followed the adventure of "Roxy" as she's gone through two relationships since I start reading. For most of the last year she's been involved in what looks like a very good relationship, one that began as a long distance romance that eventually evolved into a real relationship. It's been so great that it convinced her to move out of the Big Apple to not only be closer to her man, but actually live WITH him. Today's post was about how the two of them are now considering the option of buying a home. Needless to say, with only a couple of months gone since her move, I couldn't help but be taken aback. This post did, however, compell me to write tonight.

Since the start of this past summer, Batgirl had seriously begun to think about buying her own home. I was extremely in favor of her doing so. Afterall, she's been living in a rent-free apartment above her grandparents in their house for the last couple of years as she saved up. I admit it makes things a bit awkward if I sleep over, and now that they are back from their beach house for the winter, Batgirl has started to think we may need to respect them more than we did prior to the summer. Now, her grandparents love me, but the fact I'm upstairs doing God knows what with their granddaughter still could be a little unsettling. In any event, Batgirl's parents were surprisingly opposed to her getting a house on her own. Among those reasons was me. They believed that by Batgirl buying a house, it may make her come off as too independent, and scare me away. While I like her parents a great deal, I was a bit pissed that they made an assumption about how I'd react, when the reality was I had an opposite reaction.

After weeks of debate, Batgirl changed her mind. She actually got upset because her parents were so unsupportive of her. On the flipside, you had my parents who were happy for her to make such a move. They've actually asked about where she is at in terms of buying a house as recently as this past Sunday. Last night, Batgirl voiced her frustration with the fact she never got support from her dad on the house-buying decision, and it become more and more obvious that she wants to get out of the apartment. So why hasn't she just gone for it? Why not just get a one year lease for an apartment somewhere? My theory: she's holding out hope I approach the topic of marriage, or on a lesser level, moving in together.

In the time I've been a blogger, I've read many sites where the bloggers have met significant others, and in what seems like a blink of an eye, moved in with someone. There Dan over at Life on Plant Dan-E. There's Dating Dummy, who welcomed the woman he met through blogging, Modigli, into his place in San Diego, and now they've got a new apartment to call their own. There is my favorite crtic, Jo, from Letters to Vicki, who moved in with her love interest. There's also Neenee from Faith, Love and a Starfish, who had her man follow her back home to New York from Arizona. Finally, Roxy. These are the handful that come to mind. I'm not criticizing them for moving too fast at all, but as Batgirl and I pass 8 months together, I'm admitting the thoughts of the future with her are flowing fast and furious. I see the time span these people waited before that big step. I look at my own good friend Master K and his girl Shep, and how they moved in together after about 8 months of dating when they both met in Chicago. It kind of makes you think.

I look at how Bat Girl has questioned my decision to do some renovations on the house I currently own and live in with my brother. I haven't ignored some comments about marriage situations she's said, even if it was in jest, as recently as Tuesday night. I feel her increasing impatience with the living situation she has, and sense the discomfort of me sharing a house with other people (at one time we had a friend living in our third bedroom). I recognize the fact her brother got married in July, her married sister is having a daughter next month, and friends of mine are taking the plunge, too. Finally, I'm aware of her age: 33, and desire to have kids. Not to mention, the questions about marriage plans by my own parents.

I know you must be thinking, what has That 30's Guy been thinking? Well, I've been flip-flopping on this topic for a couple of weeks. I love waking up to her all weekend, and going to bed with her at night. On weeknights when we are together, and it's getting late, I could easily fall asleep next to her. I like to cook for her. I like eating our Saturday and Sunday breakfast, just the two of us, reading the newspaper. Of course, the practical side of me recognizes this is just small samples of life together. This isn't the real deal where you have her stuff mixed in with your stuff, shit I want to decorate with don't make the grade in her eyes, and both of you need to work together to pay bills. What about when each of us want private time? Would we take it as being given a cold shoulder, especially if the desire to be alone comes after a few months under the same roof?

No--I am not seriously considering marriage at the present time. I do see this woman as someone who can be a great mother, be welcomed into my family and circle of friends with open arms, and who will be a good partner. Thing is, I still feel too young to make such a decision, and unsure it it's the right one. I like where things are at right now, and I've enjoyed the continuous growth of our relationship as time has passed on. The love I feel for her is great, and is evolving with each experience we share.

To close, let's go back to the post from I Am, Therefore I Date, the one that got me to thinking out loud. Like the readers who commented on her post, I agree Roxy is moving way too fast. Her romance with "Redbeard" has mostly been spent miles apart. Now with the distance decreased significantly, it's almost like the relationship is in the second honeymoon phase. For her sake, I hope she hits the brakes, continues adjusting to her new life, and especially allows the new chapter in her relationship to take its natural course. Buying a house is a major step to take, and is one that involves legal ramifications. If she were to ever break up with her guy, it would make for an extremely messy situation. To anyone thinking of purchasing property with a significant other you're not married to, I say think twice.

Testosterone Tuesday

2006-09-26T06:46:00.000-04:00

Judging by my stat counter, last Tuesday's first ever installment of "Testosterone Tuesday" was a big success. It was by best readership day of the week. Like a greedy Hollywood producer, I'm going to milk a concept until it's no longer of interest. Think James Bonds movies.

The Boston Red Sox's season was officially ended this weekend, and I didn't find out until Sunday night. Oh well. Not that I cared. Unlike a handful of Red Sox Nation-members, I knew this team was on a road headed to nowhere as early as the beginning of August. Luckily for me, I watched exactly one game in a near-two month span. No wonder I've felt good!

So now we look towards 2007. Hopefully it will be year where we no longer have to hear these three words: Manny being Manny. Just like in his first season with the Sawx, Money Ramirez shut it down due to "injury" when the team needed him most, although he did make a pinch-hit appearance on Saturday night. Apparently, for the 100th time since arrive to Boston, everyone's favorite goofball with a big bat has demanded through his agent that he be traded in the offseason. With two more years unmercifully left on his contract, I think some team desperate to make a splash may be able to work something out. Unfortunately for the Sox, his departure would mean more dead money on the payroll. They already are eating portions of Edgar Renteria's contract as part of the trade with Atlanta this past offseason. What's another $5 million to get Manny off your hands.

This guy is not the type I want to see on this team. Never has, never will be. His bat is replaceable. His attitude is unwanted. It's time to say "bye bye" to Manny being Manny. Use that money to fill areas of need on the roster.
I'm going to man up and take my beatings. Yes, I picked the NY Giants to go to the Super Bowl before the season started. Yes, I've been a Giants fan since 1986. After Sunday's performance against Seattle where Big Blue was down 42-3 after ONE HALF of football, I can honestly say this is one of the top 5 Monday's I'm embarrassed to call myself a Giants fan. In three games, this team has shown no ability to play defense, poor pre-game preparation, and absolutely zero intelligence. Thank God they go on bye this week, because this team in in dire need of self-reflection. If it weren't for a Hail Mary pass last week to Plaxico Burress, this team would be 0-3. Simply a forgettable September.
Speaking of 0-3, that's what my fantasy football team is after three weeks. For the first time in my 14 years of playing FF, I don't have one fucking win to start the season. It doesn't get any better: my best player, Shaun Alexander, is out indefinitely with a broken foot. Yeah, I was smart enough to draft his back, Maurice Morris, but I've got nothing but underachievers on the supporting cast. 0-5 is a very real possibility.
Whoever says they don't believe in the "Madden Curse" should drop me a note. I'm now a believer.
When I said I wasn't buying the Detroit Lions back in June, I proved why I don't play the stock market. Who'd have thunk it?
That said, the Yank-me's are still the team to beat in the AL, even if they don't win homefield advantage.
Say what you want about Tampa Bay's Chris Simms, but playing an entire half of football with a ruptured spleen, throwing up blood on the sidelines, and bringing your team to take a lead proved to me what he's made of. I just hope he gets a chance to be as great as his father, Phil (former NY Giant QB).
Just what the hell is a spleen, anyway?
I'm totally digging Cobie Smulders, who plays Robin on CBS's How I Met Your Mother. I was surprised to read she has a recurring role on Showtime's The L Word, a story about a group of lesbian women trying to make their way. Nice.
Don't look now, but I think the Indianapolis Colts are on their way to another long winning streak. They host the hapless Titans this week, visit the Jets in week 5, then go on bye before hosting the overrated Redskins. Their next real test isn't until week 8 against Denver in Invesco Field.
Congrats to Trevor Hoffman for breaking Lee Smith's record for career saves, but why are we talking Hall of Fame for Hoffman when the man's whose record he topped isn't even in?
This guy Garciaparra who plays for the Dodgers--he's a pretty good clutch hitter. Where was that clutch hitting when he played for a team in Boston?
I'm convinced New England Patriots fan are obsessed with Peyton Manning and the Colts. Memo to the Patsie Yahoos: worry about your team first, cuz you ain't in the Colts' class right now. This isn't the team that won three Super Bowls.
I know this clip is degrading to women, but you have to laugh when someone tries to stuff a dollar bill down a news reporter's blouse while she is going live.
Memo to the Chicago White Sox: you blew it this year.
So will the Florida Marlins if they fire likely NL-Manager of the Year winner Joe Girardi, as is being reported.
For as much of a bag of wind Jeremy Shockey may sound like, he hit the nail on the head criticizing the Giants' coaching staff after Sunday's game. With that much talent, this team should be at a minimum 2-1. Too bad he backtracked on those comments, because since Tom Coughlin's arrival, I see the same soft play and undisciplined football that spelled the end of the Jim Fassel era.
While the match up may not have excited you, the run out on the field by the New Orleans Saints prior to last night's MNF game with the Falcons should have given you goosebumps...or you're just not human.

Weddings, Friends, and Hot Chicks

2006-09-25T06:09:00.000-04:00

Gian's wedding was worth the long drive. After what was a comedy of errors to get to the ceremony, Batgirl and I made it just as the bridal procession was starting. In an event that was done very unconventionally, the ceremony was held outside in the garden of a country club with the couple exchanging vows in a gazebo. The weather at the Jersey shore cleared up just in time for the start of things, and the sun shined brightly during the short ceremony. I could see the nerves my friend was feeling the whole time he stood at the front, awaiting his bride. It was strange not to see anyone I knew, except for his father--the best man--standing at his side.

In less than a half-an-hour, Gian and his fiance became husband and wife, and the guests moved on to the back patio of the country club to begin the cocktail hour and start the celebration of their new union. That, ladies and gentleman, is what a wedding day should be about: celebrating the two people and the promise they've made to each other.

I've thought about this in the last few years after seeing so many Catholic weddings. As a Catholic myself, I think the wedding day should be more about the people involved, and not so much about Jesus, his disciples, and religion. Sure, marriage is a sacrament and an institution set forth by the church, but in the 21st century, I'm not so sure making it a long, drawn-out mass where you read from the gospel and take communion is really necessary.

Yesterday's ceremony was exactly the way I think it should be: a few short prayers, one reading, a a slightly shorter homily, and exchanging of vows and the rings, and Amen. I liked how it was not held in a church, so the pressure to have to do things "by the book" was not present. There were just enough religious undertones to preserve the traditional Catholic mass for the conservatives, but right to the point of why we are all gathering there. We are there to celebrate two people whom we care for and their promise to live as one, and not attend a weekly mass.

Beyond the beauty of the ceremony, the reception was a blast. I was extremely happy with the way Batgirl conducted herself. Right before my very eyes I'm seeing someone who thought she didn't fit in finally getting comfortable and being herself. I'll bet my friends' girlfriends got jealous of us with all the dancing we did while my buddies were off to the side with drinks in their hands for what seemed like all night. Batgirl pretty much pulled me out on the dance floor shortly after dinner ended (all the food was excellent), and had me sweating like Patrick Ewing three songs later. She even willingly went down to the hotel bar after the reception to hang out, with not a hint of hesitation. To my surprise, she's actually looking forward to seeing the group again next weekend for Tall Paul's surprise 30th bash.

On a more serious note, it was nice to see Gian's mom and dad. His dad has been battling cancer and diabetes these last few years, a main reason why he and his now-wife moved back to Jersey. What flattered me was how happy they were to see me. They knew so much about what was going on in my life, and it's a testament to how big their hearts are. They genuinely are curious about how Gian's friends are, and when they see you, they make you feel like you're part of the family. I guess it's also a revealing look at how much our friendships mean to Gian, even though he's soft-spoken on certain subjects, especially on the topic of his feelings for us.

My last thought comes from the "men are pigs" part of my psyche. There were two girls at this reception that I absolutely had to sneak peaks at over the course of the night. The first was the 5'11"+ , gorgeous maid of honor, who really looked like a model, and had what seemed like a real down-to-earth attitude. I sensed jealousy from my friends' women, even though most of them are married to my buddies (Batgirl never said anything). The other was this blond with a great rack who I actually caught checking me out from across the room during the cocktail hour. My pal Vegas came stag because his girlfriend is Jewish and was observing Roshashanah, and ended up seated at her table. When we had a chance to talk man-on-man, we looked over at the table to see her leaning over and leaving little to the imagination. Man, I gotta tell ya--it ain't easy to ignore, but if you love the one you came with, it's very possible for you to just put it out of your mind.

The Start of Four Loooong Weeks (But For A Good Cause)

2006-09-21T20:03:00.000-04:00

I guess I was due to get busy again. After about a month-long breather, this weekend begins a four-week spand where Batgirl and I spend each weekend going on the road. Unfortunately, we're not talking an hour or less of driving.

This weekend, we are heading to Jersey for my pal Gian's wedding. More on that later.

Next weekend, we go north of Jersey into Upstate NY for my friend Tall Paul's suprise 30th.

The weekend after we go further north into Northern New England for Master K's 30th!

Finally, the long-awaited football trip to Hot-lanta to see Big Blue bring the Falcons back down to Earth.

For as much fun as I expect us to have, I'm actually dreading the wear and tear this will have on us. Three consecutive weekends of driving, followed by two flights is not my idea of time well spent. However, the friends we are celebrating are all important to me, and would be there for me if I needed them.

Gian: After a bout a 5 year courtship, he ties the knot with his girlfriend. I remember the night I met the guy like it was yesterday. He lived on my floor in the dorm freshman year, and he hopped on the same taxi bus as my friend Van and I. We talked a while during the wait, and on the ride over to the bar. We didn't see him again the rest of the night, and found him a mess outside the bar. Being good guys and knowing he lived on our floor, we got him in the taxi, dragged him across campus, and threw him in the arms of his roommate (and another eventual good college buddy) Big O and said,"He's all yours now!"

Ah yes. A friendship was born. Well, two actually. After that night, I became good friends with both guys, and shared houses with them the next two years. In the years as friends, we've been a support to each other as we struggled through rough times financially, miserable jobs, and breakups. He's found a good woman with a great heart. Another wedding day for a good friend has come.

Tall Paul: I also met TP freshman year of college. Even though he was from NY, I used to jokingly insist he was lying and was really from CT "because he was a tool." That joke began one night when I was drunk, and has lived on. We shared a house freshman year. He always lended me a sympathetic ear. His dad helped me do my taxes when I worked in NY. He and his dad took me to my first ever Giants game (even though it was the annual Jets-Giants pre-season game, and they are Jets fans). I was one of the first of the college crew to meet his eventual wife. More recently, he made the trip out for my 30th, even though his wife has a death in her family. He drove out, stayed as long as he could, and went back that night. He didn't have to come considering the circumstances, but he came because he wanted to.

Master K: What can I say about one of my oldest friends. There just isn't enough time and space. He's been like a brother. He's always believed in me, supported me, and we always find ways to crack each other up. One thing I always remember is last November when my long-distance girlfriend broke up with me, he called me twice that day to make sure I was doing all right, and encourage me to move on and pick up some young college chicks.

He broke the news to me last Friday that he has put the down payment on a ring for his girlfriend of two years, who moved to New England with him from Chicago. The two were going back to the Windy City for the weekend, and it was there he'd ask her dad for her hand in marriage (I know some you girls already voice your opinions on that). He must have called me three times while he was out there. Nerves, I'd assume. He is by far one of my most successful friends professionally, and I'm proud of him. Most of all, I'm proud to call him a friend.

Where Are They Now?

Before I go though, I was surprised when I tripped upon this update on where someone has ended up. In a "Where Are They Now?"-type feature I may do from time to time, I want to reveal to all my sports enthusiast readers that Melissa Stark, the HOT former Monday Night Football sideline reporter who made guys go Ga-Ga, is now anchoring on MSNBC. May I add, she's looking better than ever! If you're like me, your TV is usually tuned to ESPN a lot more than MSNBC, so to me--this was news.

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

Reality Hits: Not In The Shape I Was At 25

2006-09-20T21:01:00.000-04:00

This week has been a real eye opener for That 30's Guy and my physical condition.

To begin, Monday night I had this feeling that my favorite suite, the one I bought for a wedding on New Year's Eve 2004/2005, might be a bit tight in the waist. So, with only just a few days before my pal Gian's wedding, I slipped on the pants. Legs felt good, but when I buttoned them up...Ooph! I'd be lucky if I could exhale on Saturday wearing those things.

The same could be said for my other two good suits, which are more than 5 years old. Since I don't have any liposuction appointments scheduled this week, the logical move was to go buy a new suit. I think I may be too far gone to salvage one of the suits since it's about 6 years old, and at the time I was about a 31, 32 waist.

Yesterday I went to the local Men's Wearhouse and found myself a nice pin-striped suit (don't think for a minute I'm turning to the Dark Side), except I got surprise #1: a 34-waist was tight on me. The sales associate recommended they expand the waste on the pants to a 35! My reaction was Jesus Chris! What the hell happened? The exclamation ellicited a chuckle from the sales guy.

Suprise #2 was at the register: $410.00 Man! How the hell did I go from about $300.00 to another hundred? Easy: alterations, and the no-wrinkle shirt and silk tie and paired up with it. After getting home and thinking it over, I saw the shirt and tie contributed over $70 to the price. Being that it's a white shirt and I own one, and the fact I have a few ties that will go with the everything, I think I'm returing the two overpriced items on Friday when I pick up my new suit. Hey--I gotta pay for a hotel room and wedding gift too! If only I went on that diet I said I would in August.

Today, the company softball team got together for a practice. I discovered very quickly that I'm one out-of-shape mother fucker. I was desperately trying to catch my breath after all the line drives I had to chase in the outfield. Then, when it was my turn to bat, my arms wore down quickly from the weight of the bat (it was a bit too heavy for me), and I really was panting like a dog in heat. Right now, my back and legs are sore, and I can't wait to go to bed. When you consider the only physical activity I've consistently done over the last year is sex, and everything but the one muscle that matters seems to tire after a while of doing it, I can't be surprised. The disaster that was my softball play tonight taught me that it's time to start thinking like a 30-year-old and get my ass into some sort of shape!

Jog. Lift weights. Walk. Calasthetics. Anything! I don't think it's so much diet, and more the lack of activity.I gotta get myself down one waste size before I go out and blow all my dough on an entire winter wardrobe.

Getting older does suck.

Testosterone Tuesday

2006-09-18T22:36:00.000-04:00

In my 18-plus months experience of surfing blogs, I've learned one thing that brings back readers is weekly features. For example, Half-Nekkid Thursdays (or HNT--my personal favorite), Cock-Blogging Wednesday (you won't see something like that here!), and a lesser-known features like on my friend Jess' blog, "Bad Poetry I Wrote As A Teenager," and Mr. Pinkerton's "Weekend By The Numbers".

Since I don't have much that is new and deeply engaging at the moment, I thought I'd go shallow for the guys and start "Testosterone Tuesday". If there's one thing about me that hasn't changed through my teens, 20's and now 30's, it's my love for sports and sexy celebs. Maybe this will be weekly, maybe not. I don't have an editor to bust my balls so we'll see.

Let me get this straight: SI's Super Bowl picks, the Miami Dolphins and the Carolina Panthers, are each 0-2 to start the NFL regular season. Meanwhile, the New Orleans Saints and the Minnesota Vikings are 2-0.

God you have to love the parity in the NFL.
Memo to ESPN's Monday Night Football and Pardon The Interruption's Tony Kornheiser: Enough with the "I'm glad because I have him in fantasy" joke when a player makes a big play or has a big game. It got old in less than two weeks time. Didn't Dennis Miller teach you anything?
Let me get this straight: Brady Quinn, Heisman Trophy Candidate? I guess Michigan missed the memo.
Can someone please pull the plug on the life support the Red Sox's season is on? This business of beating the Yankees 3 out of 4 games this past weeked in the Bronx is nothing but a sick joke on those of Sox fans who stopped watching in August.
Let me get this straight: the Detrott Lions' Roy Williams and the Cleveland Browns' Kellen Winslow Jr shoot their mouths off, then proceed to contribute little in their teams' beatings. Neither one of them has ever accomplished much in the NFL, so who gave them the right to talk the talk?
Did you hear the one about how Notre Dame is a National Championship contender? I guess Michigan never head that joke either.
I don't know if I'm in the minority, but after seeing Eva Longoria in last night's MNF open, I can honestly say I still want to tear right into her. Even if she is "overexposed."
Mark my words: Terrell Owens will pussy out and miss the Cowboys-Eagles game in Philadelphia on October 8.
In spite of what many want to think, Jessica Simpson is just ridiculously hot...when you look at her photos.
Even though I'm a Giants fan, I won't be like some blind yahoo who got too caught up in Sunday's exciting come from behind win. The O-line couldn't block, the defense was shreaded like cheddar cheese, and the coaching staff didn't seem to have a game plan in place until it was almost too late. This team clearly has work to do before January arrives.
Did you see the insanely (pardon the pun) hot Debra Lafave on NBC Dateline the other night? I look at the chick and just can't figure out what a 14-year-old had that her husband didn't.

After this "in-depth" interview with professional fluff reporter Matt Lauer, I don't think any of us still are any closer to figuring that out. Is this guy really a journalist?
Memo to the NCAA: instant replay is to help football officials "get it right," not help the home team win the game.
Jesus. It took the Mets long enough to finally clinch the NL East. Getting swept by Pittsburgh this past weekend? Good thing they play in the horrible National League.
Speaking of Pittsburgh, nice effort last night getting shut out in Jacksonville. I think it's time the Jaguars start getting their due, beating two Super Bowl favorites in the Cowboys and Steelers to start 2006. Just, could you try to score a TD?
Last night's 9-0 Jaguars win was the lowest scoring Monday Night Football game in the franchise's 37-year history. And I stayed up to hear that stat. Ugh.
Have you got on board the Keeley Hazell (NSFW) bandwagon yet?

Giant Heart

2006-09-18T21:41:00.000-04:00

I know you Eagles fans out there arewaking up in a cold sweat, seeing the above image of Plaxico Burress burning Sheldon Brown in OT to lead the Giants to a 30-24 win.

I admit, I was tossing the towel in on Big Blue after the first half. What I saw was a bunch of big pussies being pushed around like the Little Giants. They couldn't block, cover receivers, rush a passer, and basically just do nothing right. Then a light went on in the lGaints ocker room (most likely the fire spewing from the mouth of a raving mad man named Tom Coughlin) at halftime, and Andy Reid's light went off in the Eagles' locker room. The G-men showed true heart, and Eli Manning did once again what I've never seen his brother do: throw a winning TD pass in a big spot.

It's onto Seattle next week to avenge that awful OT loss to the Seahawks last November.

Tuesday: the debut of "Testosterone Tuesday," my quick hits on what's up in sports, and everything male. There's just been way too much sensitive shit going on in this blog lately!

Feeling Like Part Of The Family

2006-09-17T11:29:00.000-04:00

I had an interesting Saturday afternoon. I spent the day and evening playing golf and just hanging out with Batgirl's dad and brother. The idea cam about months ago when Mr. Batgirl learned I was a golfing-enthusiast like him. For months we talked about getting together for a round, and finally, last weekend when Batgirl and I took her parents out for his birthday, we set the date.

I played like shit, but I felt great about the experience. He watched some of the things I did wrong and gave suggestions, even at one point giving me permission to tell him to be quiet and let me play. I appreciated his instruction and encouraged him to keep up the coaching. I even had a few pats on the back when we reminisced about how I lost three balls on hole shortly after he observed we hadn't lost the balls we started with. Between the three of us, we had quite a few laughs out on the course.

We concluded the night going to a popular bar close to where I work, and we shared plates of wings, quesedillas, and a few pints of beer. I really felt like I was part of the family. I never felt uncomfortable, even though this was the first time I spent any amount of time with members of Batgirl's family without her within earshot. I guess after nearly 8 months in a relationship, you eventually begin creeping into other areas of your girlfriend's life.

Speaking of that, Batgirl has seemed to start coming around on her feelings about being involved in so many group functions with my friends. Starting next weekend, we'll have three consecutive weekends that involved us travelling to other states for a wedding (next week), a surprise birthday party (in two weeks), and the biggest test--my pal Master K's 30th birthday party. I'm most concerned about that evening because of her negative feelings for his girlfriend, Shep. In fact, after this weekend, K will be two steps closer to proposing to her.

Friday, my longtime friend called to let me know that he had wired money to a friend in our home state to put the design of the ring in motion. Today, during a round of golf with her dad, he will ask for his blessing. As far as when he'll do it, I'm thinking it will be some time around Christmas. He is toying with the idea of booking a trip to some tropical destination and doing it there. While I have my own reservatin about this woman and her intentions, I do know that for the last 2 years he has felt this way about her. He was talking about marriage several months after they met and had moved in together. At the time, she was not ready, being only 23 years old. Even as recent as this past Spring, before she got a new job and they bought their condo, she was homesick from Chicago and wanted them to move back. He told me her attitude about staying in New Egnland has improved, and he is now satisfied with where her mind is and where their lives are. It is time.

This lead me to start thinking about my own relationship. Twice in the last two weeks, both of my parents have asked me if there are any wedding bells in our future. It surprised me to hear that from my father, especially, so it made me wonder if there's something they see in us. Also, Batgirl has made some comments that make me think she is getting closer to the bigger question of, where do you see us headed? She is 33, and wants to have a family. I know this based on conversations we've had. I'm 30, and I too know I want to have kids. She's made me very happy, minus the bumps in the road we've had in regards to adjusting to the other's lifestyle (more so her adjusting to mine, as you know). I love waking up to her, and I still get excited about seeing her after rough days at work.

Still, I look at the big picture and that is we are not even 8 months into this relationship. Choosing to marry someone is a HUGE, life-altering decision that I think some people seem to rush into. I look at Nern, and I know he's made the right decision to marry Angel (it took them several years to do it). I look at my other friend Ren, and I see that after 10 years together (5 married), he's met his One. Then I have my pal Frank, who married about 3 years ago, and while he doesn't admit it, seems miserable. Then again, we knew this was a mistake for him as a result of shit his wife was pulling in the weeks leading up to their wedding. When I look at Batgirl and me, I'm not 100% sure she is The One because there are the lingering issues of her insecurities, and my questions about her ability to open her arms to most of the important people in my life. As for me, I like time for myself. I love watching football all day on Sunday, taking an hour of my night to play a video game, typing a blog, and going away to see my friends who lives many miles away. I'm not sure my priorities are to have a family yet.

There is hope that's lead me to believe we have a long future together ahead of us. In the last two weeks, Nern and Angel have invited us to do quite a few things, a sure sign that they genuinely like Batgirl. We had a fun evening together at their place for dinner on Labor Day, and I think Batgirl sees the point I've been trying to make about my friends' desire to get to know her. She has poo-poo'd any opportunity to sit out the events over the next three weekends, even though I told her I was cool with her staying back here. He response has been, with a smile, "What? You don't want me to come?" In fact, when I informed her that we'd been invited up to Master K's 30th birthday party, she didn't make a face and say, I can't be there.

I really believe her postitive change in attitude correlates with her return to work. Things seems to be like there were before last June. She now has less down-time than was the case this past summer. For example, this morning she volunteered to work at a festival at a local church. I am happy to see her go back to doing something she did before we met. I've had a few Saturdays in the last month were she's been cool with me playing golf with some of my boys because she's got her own thing to do. Then, this afternoon we will be driving out to Nern's beach house to spend the rest of our day (yes--I'm allow myself to leave the couch despite there being some great football on TV). Things feel great again.

Yup. Hitting 30 may not have changed me physically, but like a light switch, the thought-process suddenly is changing. While the considerations aren't serious, they have come to the move to the surface.

My Poor Baby--I Thought I'd Lost You!

2006-09-14T19:04:00.000-04:00

A HUGE sigh of relief. Somehow, someway, my blog was retrieved. I put up a serious post on 9/11, and hours later it was gone. I have no clue how this blog went into cognito, but it is back! I don't know about you, but Blogger is really dropping the ball of late in terms of functionality. I can't even post fucking photos without using some type of programming...and who the hell wants to do that?!

I didn't have a whole lot of important shit to say these last two days, but I was going to have some fun talking sports and other superficial nonsense. Ah well, a week lost, but a blog regained. For most of you, my 9/11 post is brand new, so you can read that for the time being. I'm pretty proud of myself when I put up meaningful thoughts, so take a look and feel free to comment. Catch you later.

9/11: I Will Never Forget

2006-09-11T18:57:00.000-04:00

I know that I'm going to be one of millions who will post his own thoughts on the five-year anniversary of 9/11. Still, I feel compelled because my life was nearly impacted in a major way on this date 5 years ago.

A year ago on my old blog I told the story of how my cousin, whom I am close to, escaped the World Trade Center because she never forgot a promise she made to my uncle. When she moved down to NYC to be with her now ex-boyfriend from college, she got a job in the Twin Towers, way up on the 93rd floor of the south tower. My uncle was nervous about her being in their due to the attempted bombing of the WTC back in 1993. He made her promise that if she ever sensed danger, she'd get the hell out of there and never look back. Well, on September 11, 2001, she kept that promise.

I will condense this down as much as I can since I've told it many times, and I'd like to get to my frame of mind on this day. After the first plane hit the north tower, she knew something couldn't be right. She was in her office when the impact happened, having just sent an email to the youngest daughter of my uncle's then-girlfriend. Even though voices over an intercom told people to remain calm and in their offices, she picked up her things and rushed to the stairwell to get out of the building and away from the Twin Towers--just like she promised my uncle years earlier.

We never knew she made it out that day until about 1pm that afternoon. Had she hesitated for another 10 minutes, she probably would have been mid-descent when the second plane sliced the upper half of the south tower, right at the impact point. Her building later became the first building to collapse. To give you an idea of just how large these buildings were , she recalled there only being a rumble and soft explosion, but not one that would lead you to believe a huge plane had just slammed into your building at full-speed. In fact, it wasn't until she was clear of the buildings that she knew what had happened during her escape.

About four days later, I drove down with my uncle, his girlfriend and her daughter to pick my cousin up out at the home of her then-boyfriend on Long Island. I remember seeing the billow of smoke rising from lower Manhattan as we crossed the Throgs Neck Bridge. As someone who worked in NYC for three years and spent as much time as he could taking in the excitement and adventure this city brings, I felt deeply saddened more than most "outsiders" would. It was one thing to see the scenic shots on TV, but seeing it in person was a whole other feeling.

I remember how strong my cousin was. With the exception of the embrace she shared with my uncle when she cried, she never broke down upon our return to our home state. I marveled at how calmly she'd tell the story of a few days earlier, how she isn't nearly as shaken up as you'd think since she never really looked back. Sure, the anthrax scares that followed later that year unsettled her, but for years she never showed any emotional scars of 9/11.

That was then, this is now.

In the last couple of years, the emotions she harbored and hid from the world finally took their toll. Not long ago, she had an anxiety attack she attributes to not properly dealing with the terrorist attacks. Luckily for her, she has been able to move on. She met a new man from Upstate NY, moved back home shortly after, he followed her and the two got engaged in June. I don't doubt that she is going through a ton of emotions today (she did lose co-workers that day), especially since the media coverage is so widespread. I hate to imagine what people who lost loved ones are going through also. I was close to being one of those people, but my family was among the lucky ones. It's too bad there can't be more families like ours who didn't get the happy news in the hours that followed.

As for me, today started as just any other. Then, as I listened to Howard Stern announced that due to fan-demand, he would rebroadcast in real-time the broadcast of 9/11/01, starting somewhere around the time the first reports came in about the first plane crash. My office hours begin at 8am, but at lunch I managed to hear the West Coast feed of his show and got to hear the show portion when the first tower crumbled. I was transported back to that day, and it felt so real again. A small bit of those emotions came racing back.

This was exactly what I was listening to as I rushed home from my job to be with my family as we awaited any news on my cousin. For as much criticism as Stern gets, this broadcast was one of the most amazing bits of radio I'd ever heard. He gave people a platform to get out what they were thinking at that very moment, and for people who couldn't get to a TV, the show served a purpose as a news outlet. In fact, I had long forgotten I had an mp3 of that broadcast until he announced his plans to re-air the 9/11 broadcast a few days ago. It really serves as a harsh reminder of what this country went through today 5 years ago.

When I left NY, a city I fell in love with almost immediately when I was a kid who visited for the first time with my grandmother, I was deeply disappointed I didn't "make it" down there. I made a bad career move, didn't make enough money to live the way I wanted to, and ended up packing my bags and coming home. I felt like a piece of me was left behind because I've never felt the same since I moved away in August'01. About 3 weeks later, 9/11 happened. I often wonder how my life would have been if I was right down there, still working in my building a few blocks away from the UN. Would I have rushed downtown to look for my cousin? Probably. I really believe my life would be dramatically different had a remained in my shitty office job for just another month or so. Just how different, I'll never know. It's almost as if God had some plan for me. I came back here, picked up my financial pieces, and two years later I bought a home with my brother. 5 years later, I'm financially stable, have a loving girlfriend who I sometimes wonder is going to be my wife, and working for a good company.

I returned to lower Manhattan in December 2001. It was my first time back there since I had moved the weeks before the attacks. I'll never forget that smell of electrical fires and dust. I remember seeing that famous structure that stood upright--all that was left of a once mighty tower. I can't ever forget that numbers of photos of the missing that was posted along a fence outside one of the churches rescue volunteers rested in. I remember sign after sign on medians in the West Side Highway, thanking all the people who were working tirelessly to recover what was left of human bodies, and cleaning up rubble. I was so sad, so much in disbelief. This was real. This was done to one my loves, New York City. I felt like, on that cold day, I bid a farewell to the missing piece of me.

No, I'll never forget 9/11. When I'm being held up at an airport before boarding a plane to Atlanta next month, I'll remember why. When I get frustrated one of my best friends is in Iraq (that's a whole debate for another day), I'll remember why he's fighting for our country. Today, I ask you remember those who lost their lives doing what we still do to this day and sometimes take for granted: just living their lives as an American.

That 30's Guy's Picks-NOT-To-Click: The NFC

2006-09-09T11:52:00.000-04:00

I know you've all been waiting with "bated breath" (which is also the name of a blog I highly recommend visiting if you dig the HNT phenomenon) for my NFC picks as we are down to about 24 hours to the real official kickoff of the 2006 NFL season. Since it's a beautiful day outside, and I feel like shit frankly, let's cut to the chase:

NFC EAST

NY Giants
Dallas Cowboys
Philadelphia Eagles
Washington Redskins

I know a lot of you had a pretty good sense that I'd go with Big Blue to take the division. Let me just say that I'm not one of those yahoo's who just blindly pick their favorite team to win. I honestly do think this team is going to take the division, and make a run deep into the playoffs. Sure, a lot people are rolling with the Dallas Cowboys, but the reality is, they have Drew Bledsoe at QB, a ticking time-bomb at receiver who is capable of killing a locker room, and less than spectacular running backs. I respect the defense, but if your offense puts the D in predicaments enough, eventually that will weaken the team's strength on D. Rounding out the division, I know a lot of "experts" are singing the praises of the Redskins, but I really don't see it. They have a QB in his twilight, and I think that will ultimately be the difference between them contending for a wildcard and finish in fourth. I hate the Eagles, but I think last season was killed by injuries and the T.O. fiasco. 2006 is a new year.

NFC NORTH

Chicago Bears
Minnesota Vikings
Detroit Lions
Green Bay Packers

The Bears are a QB away from being an elite team. We saw in the playoffs last season and this season's preseason games that Rex Grossman has a ways to go. I think there will be a Brian Griese sighting about 6 games into the season. Da Bearz won't be as good as they were a year ago, but with the remaining teams in their division, they can go 10-6 and take the top spot. The Vikes will be competitive, but there's really nothing about this team that excites me. The whole Koren Robinson saga from a couple of weeks ago cost them of their playmaker on offense, and I'm not so sure Chester Taylor is a feature back. Detroit is still in rebuilding mode, with a new head coach and staff. However when you have an assistant coach who's been arrested TWICE in one week's time (first time for driving nude, the second for DWI), and is not fired, you get the sense things won't change in the immediate future. Green Bay is horrible. Period.

NFC SOUTH

Carolina Panthers
Tampa Bay Bucs
Atlanta Falcons
New Orleans Saints

I love what John Fox has done with the Carolina Panthers since he arrived in 2002. While I wish he could have remained with the NY Giants as an assistant until Jim Fassel was fired a couple of years ago, the man was due to be a head coach. A lot of people are picking the Panthers to go to the big dance, but let's look deeper: they have a QB who has propensity for throwing picks, durability questions about their running backs, TWO hammy injuries nagging their top receiver Steve Smith, and a secondary that absolutely needs the front seven to pressure the QB in order to succeed. They're still go enough to among the NFC elite, but they're not the clear cut choice experts are making them out to be. The Bucs are not a team that made great moves in the offseason. They're more like the same team they were a year ago. That equals another 2nd place finish. In Atlanta, as long as Michael Vick plays in a system that doesn't fit him, this team won't emerge back into the NFC elite. New Orleans is in a rebuilding phase, though it will be interesting to see how Reggie Bush adjusts in his first NFL season, and how new QB Drew Brees has recovered from his shoulder injury suffered last December when he was a Charger.

NFC WEST

Seattle Seahawks
Arizona Cardinals
St. Louis Rams
San Francisco 49ers

Seattle still has the pieces in place that made them the NFC Champs last season. I'm not huge on their receivers, even if they do manage to snag Deion Branch from the Patriots, as has been rumored. They lost a Pro-Bowl guard in the offseason, but that's not enough to upend a team. Besides that, just like the Bears, they're in a division that just doesn't play on any level close to them. A lot of people are probably pushing the Cardinals, and while I love their offense, I have to ask where the defense is? Signing Edgerrin James from the Colts certainly helps the Red Birds eat the clock and keep that D off the field, but eventually you have to stop someone. The Rams are about to enter a rebuilding phase, while the 49ers are in the middle of one. Both teams will give the Cards a tough time, and maybe scare Seattle once, but neither team gets my attention. It wouldn't shock me if the Niners step it up this season and take 3rd place, but that's the best I can see. for them. It all depends on if Alex Smith improves his QB play in his 2nd NFL season.

NFC Champions: The New York Giants

That 30's Guy's Picks-NOT-To-Click

2006-09-06T21:22:00.000-04:00

In continuing with the football theme started last night, I thought I'd give my brief analysis of the upcoming NFL season. As I said last night, I have reason to be excited as a New York Giants fan. We have a good, young and (hopefully) improving QB in Eli Manning, an array of receivers that will make many QB's around the league jealous, a do-it-all running back in Tiki Barber, a quick and aggressive defense with two stud pass-rushing DE's, and an improved (on paper) linebacking corps and secondary. Not to mention, a little point to prove after having their asses handed to them in the playoffs last season by the Carolina Panthers.

Of course, on the way to the playoffs, the G-men have a brutal schedule to start 2006. As early as week one, in prime time on NBC, Big Blue get to host a team most of the country is picking to win the Super Bowl. That's right; the Indiananpolis Colts take their high-power offensive act to the Meadowlands in this battle of Brother vs. Brother (Eli's older bro Peyton QB's for the Colts). I am excited about the game, but not overly optimistic about the prospects of a win. You know what? That may be a good thing because at least the Giants will know right away that they have to earn their way back to the playoffs. I'm very confident the refurbished defense will eventually gel, Eli will emerge as a bona fide star QB, and Big Blue will erase the memory of an opening game loss should that happen.

Without further delay, here are That 30's Guys "Picks-NOT-To-Click." Hey; if you want to wager using my predications, then bet at your own risk.

AFC EAST

New England Patriots
Miami Dolphins
Buffalo Bills
NY Jets

I'm never impressed with the Patsies' receivers, and with the disgruntled Deion Branch holding out, I'm even less enamored. They also lost "Mr. Clutch" Adam Vinatieri, one of their defensive leaders in Willie McGinnest, and their stud running back Corey Dillon has shown signs of breaking down. Why do I pick them? Well, first because they always seem to prove me wrong when I go against them. Secondly, their division is a two-team race. Third, that second team (the Dolphins) has more questions about them, such as the knee of their new QB Daunte Culpepper, the effectiveness of a mediocre offensive line, a lack of real talent at receiver outside Chris Chambers, and an aging defense in the process of change. I have to stick with the Patsies.

AFC NORTH

Cincinnati Bengals
Pittsburgh Steelers
Baltimore Ravens
Cleveland Browns

This is history folks. For the first time ever, I am drinking the Bengals' Kool-Aid. Carson Palmer look awesome last Monday night in his first game back since having his knee busted by the Steel Curtain in the playoffs. They made attempts to improve the D, while the reigning World Champions didn't make much of an effort to keep up with changes around the league. That's never a good thing. Beyond that, their star QB-Big Ben Roethlisberger-is coming back from severe injuries suffered in a June motorcycle accident, and an emergency appendectomy a couple of days ago that will keep him out likely the first two weeks. I think the talent is there for them to go 1-1, but it just seems to me the Bengals are ready to take that next step.

AFC SOUTH

Indianapolis Colts
Jacksonville Jaguars
Houston Texans
Tennessee Titans

This may be one of the lousiest divisions in football. You have the Colts...and then everyone else. You can forget about Houston; they passed on Reggie Bush and now they have no running back that scares defenses. The Titans? The high school team from Remember The Titans would fare better. While I respect the Jaguars' toughness, this is a team that just can't score. When you're in a division with the Colts, you have to be able to score some points. Sure, they always play Peyton and Co. tough, but the Jags receivers and backs don't scare me, and the Colts' does. I also think the Indy D is going to continue its development since Tony Dungy arrival a few years ago. Even though I don't like the fact they lost Edgerrin James to free agency and now have two rather questionable backs to carry the load, it's hard for me to look around the AFC and see a team better than the Colts. Then again, I said that heading into the playoffs last season....

AFC WEST

Denver Broncos
Kansas City Chiefs
San Diego Chargers
Oakland Raiders

Like the Colts, the Broncos are just that much better than everyone else in the division. While I think Jake Plummer is never going to be a QB destined for a championship, he's at least giving Denver a chance at one. I like the defense, I like the acquisition of Javon Walker as a new target for Plummer, and I think the backs can get the job done. Had the Bolts not let Drew Brees walk in favor of the inexperienced Phillip Rivers, I'd say the Chargers have a great shot. Unfortunately, the front office needed to justify trading away Eli Manning for Rivers. The screwy thing is they didn't sign a veteran QB to back the kid up. Could be a big risk. The Chiefs will continue to regress even though they have a new coach in Herm Edwards. I like the guy's enthusiasm, but he didn't get the job done with the Jets and I don't see what he'll be able to pull off here in his first season. Larry Johnson is the fantasy football stud coming into 2006, but was that monstrous run over the last half of 2005 a mirage? The Raiders...I think they're one of the worst run franchises in sports. I don't like the QB, the O-line, the coaching staff, the defense. Nothing. I think they'll be among the bottom 5 teams in the NFL this season.

AFC Champs: Indianapolis Colts

Next: the NFC picks (hmmm, I wonder who will win the NFC East?)

Fantasy: Not Just a Kid's Game?

2006-09-05T23:17:00.000-04:00

We are only 48 hours away from the start of another, hopefully exciting, NFL season. Of course, when your team is considered a Super Bowl contender like mine is, you will feel a little extra giddy. What about if you're a fan whose team is not expected to be much of a factor, like, oh, say, the Tennessee Titans? Here's a team that still isn't sure who their starting quarterback will be after a month of preseason games. Pretty frigging pitiful if you ask me. I'm disappointed in longtime coach Jeff Fisher, perennially one of the NFL's best, for his indecisiveness. So what do you do?

Enter fantasy football, the phenomenon that has really captured the imagination of the male-sports fan since the start of the new century.

As a man who has entered his 30's, I've started wondering just how much longer I can keep up this hobby. I've been running my own league since I was 17 and a senior in high school. My 12-owner league has been the model many who run in our social circles try to emulate, and often fail. I'm quite proud my league enters it's 14th season, especially since a lot fizzle out after a couple of years. For as much fun as us guys have on that summer day where we all convene in one location, drink beers, grill food, and spend 3 hours or so "drafting" our team, I've began to see real life creep into the scheduling these last two seasons.

This year, the big issue was Nern's wedding. We had the day-long bachelor party one weekend, the wedding another, and his honeymoon keeping him out of the a third. My other friend, Big O, has a wife, a young daughter, and another baby on the way, on top of a 4+ hour drive, so he may never make it out to "The Draft" either. We managed to squeeze a Saturday in, but Big O had to draft via phone from his house (also due to the fact he had to go to a wedding reception that evening). All the while, some of the guys' girlfriends tagged along because they wanted to be able to spend time with their men instead of losing them for a whole weekend day. It was quite exhausting putting this year's draft together, and I think this is just a precursor of what's to come.

So if you're a woman who didn't turn away from this post because I opened up with football talk (open up your horizons; it's for your own good), or if you're just a novice and an outsider to this past time, I'm going to try to fill you in on just what your husband or boyfriend is doing.

Fantasy Football is not pornographic. I know a lot of people think "sex" when they hear the word "fantasy." That's not what this is. Although, the annual Lingerie Bowl can be considered fantasy football. Anyway, the fantasy end of it is due to the fact we are playing out the role of a football teams GM, drafting our own talent for the upcoming season. No, we're not really recruiting players to play for us each Sunday. We're just taking their names and putting them on a sheet of paper and calling it our "team". While some funny guys may try to use pornographic team names like "The Bald Beavers," this is not some pornographic activity.
Know the initials LT, LJ, and the name Shaun Alexander. If your man (or buddy) is picking in the top 4 or 5 picks of his league's draft, you'll be hearing him go on and on about the decision of who he should take: LT, LJ or Shaun Alexander. LT is short for Ladainian Tomlinson of the San Diego Chargers; LJ is short for Larry Johnson of the Kansas City Chiefs, and Alexander is another stud player for the Seattle Seahawks. All three of these guys put up monster stats in 2005, and are the consensus most coveted players to have on your team. Their position is running back, and if any of them get hurt and your boy drafted the one who gets injured, don't be surprised if he goes into a season-long depression.

I know, because my season's hopes ride on Shaun Alexander's AND Larry Johnson's legs in two leagues.
The draft is a great excuse to get together with the guys. I know there are guys out there who can't go into the shitter without the question from his woman of where are you going? For some guys, there just aren't many opportunities to cut the apron strings and get that testosterone level up. Draft Day is one of them. Where else can 10-12 guys sit around, razz each other's lack of football knowledge, forget their troubles, and be MEN? If your league is smart, you'll set the date a least a couple of months in advance, and those owners who have a dominatrix for a companion can use this excuse a lot of my friends do:"It's a tradition!" No one likes to fuck with traditions.
Stats = points. That's how the game is played. Each league has a scoring system. I won't get into it because every league's scoring system is different, but let me put it to you this way: you have to be fucking Steve Hawking to figure out how many points one player got you. Trust me on this. Do yourself a favor and don't ask how a fantasy football owner knows how his players did. You'll only hurt your brain and get dizzy. Simply put, it's based on the stats of the players you drafted and put in your active lineup each week, & you get credit for points based on deviations. The total points of our players are totaled and we compare them against the owner we're matched up against that week. To put it like John Madden, the team who scores the most points will win the game.
No more than 1/2 hour to an hour a day should be spent on fantasy football. I hear all these horror stories how people spend hours a day on their computers, cutting into productive time at the office, scouring the internet for tips on improving their fantasy football team. If someone close to you is in that group, get them some help. Seriously. I read news blurbs about the NFL in general during my lunch hour, paying special attention to anything involving "my" players, then maybe I'll read a little more at night. That's it. I'd prefer spending my time doing other things like looking at pictures of Lindsay Lohan's cans, drinking out of beer cans, or fondling Batgirl's cans while drinking from a beer can.

5 quick and easy points. I've done two drafts this season, I'm quite happy with one team (the one I drafted tonight in my work league), and very nervous about the one I drafted in early August for my 14-year one I've been doing with my friends. I'm probably too late to analyze fantasy football as most drafts are over, but maybe as we head into the Sunday games, I'll give you the rundown of my teams.

Yeah, to the outsider this all seems childish, and as 30-year old man I can see that. Still, it's sometime about the kid in all of us. The trick is to not let that kid take your life over full-time.

Pardon the Absence, But...

2006-09-04T22:55:00.000-04:00

Seems like I can't get myself motivated to sit down at a computer after being at one all day, and type up some posts. I thought I'd get back in the groove last week but it just didn't happen. I've been quit busy at the "new" job in recent weeks, which is good considering how little I did the first two weeks there. As Labor Day weekend winds down (I'm a little buzzed after dinner with Nern, his wife, and Batgirl), I'm hopeful this 30's Guy will be able to get back at it again this week. Something tells me with a second fantasy football draft tomorrow, the NFL season kicking off Thursday, and who knows what in the days ahead, I'll have a few musings to give you all.

A quick note is I am going to go back to my original edict of limiting details of my personal life. I've found that my approach in my relationship has been influenced considerably by the opinions of commenters to my posts, when the reality is you are seeing it from a perspective that changes with each day....namely, mine. I recognize my girlfriend and I have issues to work out, and I am determined to deal with them (you know what they are) if they rare their ugly heads again. Fact is, I could probably point out faults with your significant others if I wanted to. Some of you don't dive into your personal lives live I have, but there are blogs I read that do. I then say to myself, "You know, I have it good. I have to have faith I will be man enough to make my feelings known if the time comes when these issues cause problems." Bottom line is, if my girlfriend isn't willing to to let me have a life outside of our relationship, it's not going to work.

I've seen signs this weekend where her return to work, combined with more of a committment by me to spend time together, will allow that with no protest by her. I accept she will not get along with certain people, but with those who mean most to me, she does. My parents, my family members, my best friends, some of their significant others; they all adore her and continually sing her praises. It will take more time, but I have faith our battle last weekend was a building block. I already informed her I will be going up to Master K's to see his new condo, and I think it's understood she doesn't have to come due to her feelings towards his girlfriend Shep. I explained his disappointment that I have made no effort to make it up to his new condo since he got it in June, and she understood. Furthermore, she is willingly coming with me to my buddy Tall Paul's suprise 30th at the end of the month, which will be an event loaded with my college friends.

Do I believe the adjustment period is over? Not by a long shot. We're only 7 months into this relationship, and we both have years of singledom to get out of our system. I think Batgirl is going to make the effort to co-exist with the large collection of friends I have, so as long as I make the effort to give the alone time she enjoyes. You know what? I enjoy that time too.